Living Beyond Restraints

Living within regrets is like living with restraints. I strive to never rest in the confines of such places that leave one bogged down with past regrets over life decisions that have been made, yet sometimes I feel the joke has been played on me and the foolish decisions that led up to any given circumstance is mine to own solely. Tomorrow has it cares of its own, so the grabbling of today’s issues or concerns has left me in a state of aw. To live fully, I believe you must be open to possibility without limit, and yet in doing so you open yourself up to many things, one of them being hurt. Yet do I recommend you run from the possibility of being hurt? No, I say run full speed ahead into all that life has to show and/or offer you and leave no room for regrets. While it may at times leave you feeling foolish, it is those foolish experiences that make you stronger and wiser. It is my belief that with anything you hold back from, will only lead to uncertainty in other areas that may/will present themselves at a later time. I am able to find peace in knowing that I go for what I want, but yes I play the fool along the way, and it is that that inspires this writing tonight. How do you give your all to something, only to end as the fool? How can you believe in something so strongly, that in the end you find that it was foolish to do so? Am I a fool for standing in the gap and waiting for my dance to be had? I believe that I would have been the real fool if I wasn’t willing to try something that I believe in so strongly, and walked away from it before it began, thereby leaving room for regret to cycle through life’s process. There are defining moments in life and the willingness to stand in the gap of hope is something that can never be demarcated as foolish, but rather it should be defined as living; so too that, I will continue living without the restraints of regret.

GMA

You…you were pleasure. You were kind. You were giving. You always put others first, even when I wanted you put yourself first. You would always try to clean, even as I was taking the rag out of your hands. You’d bake my favorite cake, just because you knew I was coming. You loved me as I was your own. Even as life interrupted the time we’d share, you still let me know you’d always be my gma. So often we miss opportunities that were sent from heaven, but I’m glad that this one wasn’t missed. Gma you been called a true saint and that’s all I knew you to be. I watched you with Gpa all those years and admired your dedication to all things. Gpa ain’t the same without you. I can hear him calling your name as he always did…..’Flo Bell’….he’d call you but didn’t want anything but to know that you were there. I’m sure he’s calling you now, so Holy Spirit please give him comfort that he needs. Gosh Gma, you were peace. I can’t help but erase the tears with smiles as I think of you…while I may shed some, most are tears of joy that I knew you.

I Wonder

Dear you,
I wonder so much through the thought of you. I wonder the potential of a you and I and I wonder if there truly is a potential of a you and I. I wonder why I wonder such things because I believe there is potential in all things. I wonder if I’m right about you, but more important I wonder if I’m right for you. Even as I know I’d live the fullest life I could reach for with you, I wonder if it’ll be enough to sustain your all. Funny thing is, that even as I write this that wonder fades. I wonder how such things could be so easily obtained through a you and I, but just as I type that, the wonder is taken and replaced with a resounding ‘you are deserving’. I wonder if the ‘be careful what you ask for, because you may get it’, will happen, but then again I wonder why I wonder that because I want what I’ve asked for. I wonder if you know what I’ve asked for, but then again I believe you know because you see her in the mirror daily. I wonder what your tomorrow will be like; will you enjoy every moment, or will you be lost in translation of your new realization. I wonder if I’d be enough for you, but if you are what I pray for, you’d have to be, but I wonder if I’ll be the dream of what you’d want to hold on too for a lifetime. I wonder what it is that I see in you that have become my magnet. I wonder why I never walked away from you. I wonder how your smile lightens my thoughts. I wonder that what God would show you if you prayed about certain things. I wonder how God will give me exactly what I’ll need to preserve you. I wonder if you’ll truly love me for who I am, at every moment that lay ahead. I wonder if you get me. I wonder if you know how much I enjoy ‘getting’ you. I wonder how you’ve taught me things without actually speaking. I wonder why you’re in the package that you’ve come in. I wonder if you could nurture me the way I need, but I already know you carry that ability. I wonder how long you’ll hold back before letting go and give freely. I wonder if you’ll enjoy the giving that you give me. I wonder how long this letter could be if I keep wondering, so instead I’ll leave my worries at the door and enjoy every moment I spend with you. You ready?

You Can't

You can’t have the stars without first experiencing space. You can’t have rest without first taking time. You can’t have peace without living first. You can’t have vision without first having purpose. You can’t have love without first giving it. You can’t have dreams without first having hope. You can’t hear without listening first. You can’t have desire without knowing your needs. You can’t lead without having followed. You can’t reach the clouds without being grounded. You can’t breathe without life. You have no limitations except those you place upon yourself. Everything in contact with you serves a purpose!

Breathing Fire

How to love is like breathing fire. Love provides lessons even when you don’t show up for class. You don’t need a list of supplies at the beginning because you carry all the materials you’ll ever need, internally. You’ll encounter those that will pour into you, but guard your highest valued asset as if it were the world’s largest diamond. There will be attempts to break in and steal your heart, but learn to see them for who they are and what they represent. Treasure your love, because it is unique and ambiguous to those that do not seek to understand your making. Love is the air you inhale that passes through your lungs and gives new life. Love is not sought out but it is stumbled upon. It is a discovery in places that you hadn’t looked. Mirrored reflections of you stare back at you as you stand in the presence of space that is all yours. As you stand there, look deeper into you. Notice the deepness to which your shores have no limits. Watch the curves of your frame move along a symphony of waves. Look as your eyes tell a poets story of passion. See the treasure that you contain deep inside you and know that you are more than your outward beauty. Yes, that is beauty that you see gazing back at you and it’s blazing with much verve. It takes the earth’s hottest fires and pressures to form what you carry, and that diamond that is all yours, is yours to show and share only to those deserving of its attendance. Class is in session for those that seek you, so they need to know that all it took to make you is the same it takes to ‘see’ you.

Artist/Writer

What defines a good artist/writer is not the delivery of words but the authenticity to which those words are offered. Well at least that’s my opinion.

Package

If there is one thing that I’ve learned, it is that love rarely comes in the form that we imagine it to be. It can truly be surprising the package that it may come in. I have also learned that when you end bias’ on love, it knocks at your door in the form that it was always meant to be in. I’ve posed visuals to myself and laid expectations before me and turned away from things that didn’t meet what I perceived to be the package that was meant for me. I have failed and failed miserably. I was built by my manufacturer and being that I have a direct line of communication with my architect, all I needed to do was ask for a package that would add to me. I had to ask for a package that would add too me and I to it. I needed to seek the manufacturer first and since doing so you should see the form it has come in.

Discovering a Fairytale

Excuse me but I don’t think that you know who I am, so here let me tell you. I am a black man and that means I’m strong, patient, determined, able and willing. It means I can suffer much and still get back up. It means that I am capable. It means that I am smart. It means that I have no limits. It means that I am royalty. It means that I am worth obtaining and keeping. It means that I am a giver. It means that I am a teacher. It means that I am father to many things. It means that I your mate but beyond that I am your King and you are my queen. It means I am power. It means that I need you. It means that I am love. It means that I am fertilizer to earth. Past being a black man I am trying to show you that I will always get back up when I fall. I will always show you how much you mean to me. I will always build you up and show you who I see you to be and work hard to make sure those things are made reality. I am encouraged daily to see life as it is; brilliant. I am willing to sacrifice much just to get to where I believe I need to be. I am fun but fun in new, fresh and different ways. I am the different air as my lungs have the breath of my Heavenly Fathers touch. I am faithful to what I believe. I face my struggles head on. I am bold because I walk with authority from my manufacturer. I am always encouraged at today’s possibilities. I can overcome any obstacle in my path. I am valuable and purposed to be displayed as something worth acquiring. I am so much more than you apparently think that I am. That’s ok though, because I am also a wisher and one day I wish you look at yourself and see who I see and understand exactly what I am saying. So for now, I close my eyes and imagine the fairytale of discovering who you are because it is then that you will see me as I am.

Hurt

Hurt – Hurt runs deep and cuts in places you thought were safe and secure. It reaches the deepest darkest places that light have never touched. It is meant to leave scars and pain but I so want you to know that even the deepest hurt doesn’t have to leave you scarred. While it may be easier said than done, leaving pain right where it needs to be left is something that is not only needed for you but it needs to be left there so that the person inflicting the pain doesn’t win. Claiming victory and healing over a situation gives you power and starts the healing process. To carry pain is to carry prevention and when you are preventing anything due to something that has harmed you can lead to prevented true joy, happiness and peace. Neither I nor anyone is too good to have hurt try to attack us but it is how we recover that defines us and molds us into who we are to become. Leaving hurt in the dark place that it was injected takes courage and courage is the air that you should breathe. I’m encouraged to know that joy still lives and dwells in the corners of pain and that my desire for such joy be passed along to everyone, even those that would cause pain. If you are human, chances are you’ve caused pain to someone else and even to someone you care about. You’ve left your stone and the feet of that person, but I want you to know that the stone does not have to become who you can be. Sometimes hurt is given out of love for someone but that delivery may not mirror those intentions (that’s for another post). To those that own the stones at the feet of others, I encourage you to go back and pick up those rocks and ask for forgiveness and move on. Do not remain in the imprint left by the weight of your stone as it is designed to keep you held captive under its shadow. You are not the shadow but you are the light and you whose foot the stone rest upon, it’s over now. Kick that rock to the curb and move on. There is no need to look back at the damage it caused, instead focus on your clear skies and live in the brightness ahead of you. Forgive those that trespass against you, because your freedom rest in it. Understand that when hurt is imposed, there is never only one that suffers, so healing is not accomplished alone but rather it is when both come to an understanding that love, peace and joy should follow each all the days of one another’s life. Peace to you!

Write It

Write it: Closed minds and ignoring ears will always lead to loss. Do you not know that lessons taught need not fall upon ignorance? If it were laid out before you with detailed instructions, would you intentionally step over them to do you? Look, a path is designed to be followed but as with any path there is an option to deviate from the path. Discoveries are often found when a different path is chosen but the path that was paved for you were uniquely built for you and therefore it contains no hidden pitfalls and would supply all your needs. It is the challenge that we face to remain on the path that chases our mind. I pretend not that the path is easy and that there will be no distractions along the way but understanding that the path to which you are on directs you to destiny. Just what is destiny? It is what you know to be yours and real. It is what you’ve seen. It is what you feel. It is what you make of it and it is what you think of it. The path of which you step was made of soil just for your soul. Stay on it!

My Name is Jade

Faded in the distance I could feel the slipping grip of hope losing out to circumstance. Something was different this time though. I’d lost many things in my short life’s span.
She entered into my time with subtlety and brought with her pleasure, laughter and returned happiness, and seemingly the race was over as she entered with much to offer. While there was much to offer there was much to lose as well and obstacles to which was a concern. You see, she was taken by another, not through marriage but none-the-less, she was taken. I don’t know what my intentions were when she caught my eye but I knew she was someone that I would definitely like to get to know. I was set on discovering who she was and what made her tick. I did everything I could think of to get her attention but truly nothing worked. Without going into subsequent detail of the many passed days that I failed to get her to notice me, finally my moment would come one warm winter day. There I was with open space to walk up to her and ask her whatever, but true to experience she was busy but I was ready to wait for a moment of opportunity. Finally my moment was due, but just as soon as it presented itself, it was taken away as she was rushed back to previous obligations. However along her path, there I sat and as she passed an acknowledged look of ‘I see you’ penetrated her mind. While the moment passed for me I figured it was just another missed opportunity to get her to see me. As usual I would be wrong, as later that night through email she would send me an invite to come see her play ball Friday. Finally a window had opened and I was determined to climb through it.

06/15/11

Who am I to say what I deserve? Sure I’m like anyone else out here, I want comfort, peace, abundance, family, prosperity and many other things. I cannot spend any time worrying about what I’ve lost and what I may not have because the abundance of what I do actually have far outweighs the things that I don’t have. In other words I am truly starting to believe that joy is creeping into my life. It seems that no matter what I face, I remain at peace. Right now, at this very moment I’m all smiles…. Thank You!

Poker

Poker players take note: the pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.


Um, add tongue movement and/or lip sucking to it and you pretty much got someone ready to burst.

Grey Hound

Drop me off at the nearest bus stop. Let me place one foot in front of the other and climb aboard the future. Give me a window seat so that I may view the passing lanes left behind. Take the scenic country route so that it's calm may pass through me. I want to forget what's being left behind and marvel in today's views. Give me a nice sunshine start to this trip. Do not give me the direction that I'm headed in but rather make my destination the last stop of the journey. Let my feet be planted in new fertile soil that forever my seed may flourish.

No Where to Hide

There’s nowhere to hide when love calls your name. My man Kem says it best and hits the nail on the head. Music is tunnel to elastic passions that span miles across this land. It is something shared between cultures and understood through all genres. The tempo of soft tunes has the ability to uplift and calm even the roughest shores of our lives. With each passing beat a care is removed. You can lose your fears in the midst of its smooth erythematic staffs. Fall deep in the unseen waves that sweep across your ears as they strum through all that connects you to it. Let love speak through all that it brings to you.

Turn and Walk

Turn and walk away. End the desolated faint remembrance of this thing. Do not think of the missed purpose that may have been. Meet the hour that you choose head on as this comes to a conclusion. There is nothing left here for us to do but to take our hand off the pause button and let tomorrow play out with new imaginations. Cast away your concerns and unspoken questions and live in the new seconds of each passing minute. Stand in your presence and try to speak life into a dying energy that has already been replaced by new hopes. Walk away from yesterday’s smiles. Walk away from days gone by lost to the new moments of delight. No more cloudy days that block visions of happiness as the storm has passed. Turn a new page in this ever-changing story of life. Discover its wonderful past, present and future and unwrap each slowly and not forget that yours are uniquely designed just for you. Turn and walk away with a sway unlike any other. –Oh you sassy huh!

My Name is Jade

You ever wonder why no one in this ‘business’ seems to have or go by a real name? I mean think about it, throughout history the most popular gangsters were never called by their birth names. People like Scarface, Bugsy, Hit-man, Lucky and several in the hood carry other names that I’m sure you’ve heard of. Here are a few that comes to mind, Black, Boo, Baby, Murder, King, Jay, D.J and several other names that can always be heard in any hood. So why is it that the nickname becomes the new name for the individual? I mean most nicknames are assigned, meaning they are given to an individual by someone else. I remember receiving one of my nicknames after committing an act of what I like to call ‘understanding’. I don’t remember how old I was but I was definitely under 15.

My parents had 2 cars and one was usually accessible during the hours of 8-5. I know what you’re thinking and all I can say is, can you blame me? I knew where the keys were and my brothers would never tell on me, so joy riding is what I did best! Sorry kids, you can’t do this type of crap now, because as much as gas cost, trust me your parents will know. For the most part, every day after school me and my friends would hop in the car and go for joy rides throughout the neighborhood. Shoot we even went through some areas that we had no business rolling through. OMG, what if the car had gotten shot up. I mean we were kids, and we had nothing better to do. We never worried about the police because the only time you’d see a cop was during a home raid or something. They simply did not come to our hood. One particular day, after returning the car to my garage we sat in the car listening to the radio. I was revving the engine like an Indy Stock car driver or something. There we were, all 5 of us having a blast with me at the wheel bumping NWA. I decided to up the fun and put the car into drive and play with the gas and break pedal to make the car jump as if it had hydraulics. I’m not sure if my foot slipped or what but next thing I knew the car hit the garage. All you could hear was the sound of 3 car doors shutting and Nike to pavement. I slowly backed the car back into its proper spot and got out to see that there was no way I would be able to fix the damage. Seeing the ass whipping that lay ahead, I tracked down each friend that was in the car and told each of them that if they said anything to anyone, I’d burn their house down! Now they knew me. I mean they grew up with me and knew that they really couldn’t put it past me. The only part that I hadn’t calculated was my brother. I didn’t factor in the fact that my parents would blame him and that he would find out what truly happened and confront the people that were in the car and demand that they speak up. Either way, I didn’t care. I didn’t care if my brother threatened to beat their ass, it was better to take that then lose your house. Oh I was dead ass serious. So when I found out that Tyrone was about to snitch, I went to his house that night with matches and a bottle of alcohol. I was about to climb underneath his home and do my thing when Anthony (next door neighbor and my brothers friend) called my name. He said, “Boy what the hell are you doing?” Of course word travels fast in the hood so he knew what I was up too and thankfully talked me out of it. I remember him saying, “dang nigga you like a Jade. Cross yo ass and there will be hell to pay”. With that my name was born, Jade.

Tyrone never knew how close he came to having his house set a blaze and he never snitched because my brother got to me and made me tell my parents what truly happened. We laugh about it to this day, as I never got in trouble for it. All they said was, “you could’ve been hurt and don’t do it again”. Man my brother was pissed because he’d gotten his ass whipped over it lol. You have to remember I was youngest which means I always got away with things that my brothers would’ve been killed for.

Boarders

Boarders without limits are what I seek. Boarders come with limitations and limitations leads to the inability to exist freely within the confines of who you are. To come and go as you see fit, abandoned not by what someone else allows for is called a will. Your will is made just for you and when it is bended to will the will of another, then you will reach the termination of your control. While it is ok to die to one’s self, it is never ok to allow death to transform you into something that does not like to exist as you see fit. Free is boarder- less, and is permitted to breathe in all the advantages of such a state. I want to live in a boarder-less-state-of-mind.

Chances

Excuse me, but close your eyes woman. Stop your worrying and let go your cares. Give me your hands and walk with me a while. I got you. I’ll keep you nice and warm. Let go of your all and rest right here. I’ll keep your cares protected. Tell me your secrets and I’ll share 10 of mine. You’re in my heart and I’m trying to get you to stay for a while baby. I don’t care what challenges that may lie ahead, because I know that together we can face them with determination to overcome what may. Lay it hear baby. Put it all on the line as I’m on bended knee asking that you be mine. Lets make this interlude last a while longer. If you’re worried about regrets I’ll not rest until they escape you. By the time this is done you’ll know the “you” and “I” will never be done. Girl I’m the glove to your hand. So bring that smile to me today because I need it more and more with each passing day. The future is defined as: Time that is to be or come hereafter. Something that will exist or happen in time to come: The future is rooted in the past. My past yesterdays are hopefully tied to your tomorrows and starts with today baby. While your eyes are closed, please imagine the’ what if’ good parts and let go of your worries. Chance is defined as: the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted, understood, or controlled: Often personified or treated as a positive agency. Take a chance on me baby and I’ll spend the rest of my days making sure that it spends no moments in regret. Now open your eyes and see me wanting and needing you baby. Yeah, I’m talking to YOU! Called out again!

My Name is Jade

Twin engine, Cessna or jet engine, four seat plane. Oh the four seats includes the pilot and optional co-pilot. Yeah, optional can be used when it comes to piloting a plane. In fact, the plane itself can fly by itself. How many times have you heard that a “twin engine” airplane has crashed? If you’re like me, you’ve heard that several times, but that didn’t stop me from jumping my butt into one of the 4 seats in the plane. Thinking about it now, I’m like wow the freaking pilot was right in front me. No cockpit door or nothing to separate us lol. All those buttons and radar equipment all lit up. So there I was about to fly out to Alabama with 3 guys I just met, 2 of which I just met a few hours ago. With Brian as the pilot, my life was literally put into his hands. We all had headphones on to communicate with one another. We could hear the airport tower people giving instructions and clearance to take off. Ok so this part may be a little jumpy as it was a little exciting I’ll admit. Let’s go back an hour or so. September 11, 2001 was the day that 2 planes crashed into the world trade center, and that changed how we secured our airports and other transportation spots. Ok, now picture this if you will: Post 9/11, you have 4 black men pulling up into the parking lot of an airport around 8pm on a weekday carrying no luggage. We walk in and through the airport right onto the tarmac. Wait, wait, Brian does stop at the desk to give his credentials, but as for the rest of us, nothing was given or shown. We walked outside where Brian led us to the plane we were about to take out. While waiting we see Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton waiting on their plane as well. We engaged in a conversation that will more than likely be in another chapter of this story. I will add this part though; I worked with both Rev.’s previous to this, as I was an active member of the SCLC (shout out to Ms. Brenda). So off we were headed to Alabama just to go, well something like that. It was more of a test run to show me just how easy flying back and forth could be without being tracked and or noticed. We landed in Alabama approximately an hour or so later and was met with keys and a car for the evening. We didn’t really have plans so we just went to dinner and somehow the dinner turned into an after party. Once the waitress heard that Brian was a pilot it was a wrap. She called her friends and we all had a good time and no that will not be including in another chapter. Listen people, this is how people are living daily both legal and illegally. Now imagine how expanded my mind became after a night like that. I couldn’t even fully enjoy the party as all I could think about was the possibilities that lay ahead and I was ready to get back home to go to work. This is my story and my name is Jade, necca you better recognize this homey.

Oh and no security shouldn’t be on the lookout cause some black guys were flying out in their own plane but they should’ve been on the lookout for anyone not really fitting the build of “traveling” people. Jesse and Al, my dudes lol.

Words

Dear words, I need you to direct a symphony of meaning. I will type what you impress on me. Clear and moving I hope my letters will form an image of something easy to follow and understand. People are in need of encouragement and guidance, so please pour out onto this paper to give them what is needed. They may not be able to see all the charms around them. They may not be able to see the gem that stares back at them in the mirror. Man, woman, boy or girl you are a jewel unlike any other and to be discovered is like finding something so rare that it’s truly unique. So do I speak to the people and say these things or do I continue to express the love I witness often? Do I ignore the destruction around me and focus on the newness around? How do I do either without overlooking the other? Dear words, make sense of what it is the melody is trying to say. I know it wants to dance in a message of ease but that’s not reality for some and I want all to step with me as I praise in the good things of life. Sure there’s pain and hurt but the good carries a much bigger experience in this life of ours. What I believe I’m trying to say is find the good in all things. Even through death, there comes life. Even through loss there is gain and finding the good in that is a peace that has the ability to surpass all understanding. Upbeat and gifted is this rhythm playing in your backyard, so come on…dance with me…… Keep stepping…keep stepping.

I Will Always See

Is it meant for a man to see such beauty in her? I cannot help but to express not only what I see but what I feel as well. Sure she is outward an expression of God’s joy, but there’s more of it that lies beneath the surface. I see it through her smile and laughter. I see it so clearly that a smile breaks my face when I see it. Inside her is peace and pleasure that would last a lifetime. In her is patience and misunderstanding. I pretend not to know her, but rather I know what I feel and what I feel is unmeasured contentment that she is gifted with angelic admiration of love. To come into contact with a love this extraordinary is something beyond common. “Some people search a lifetime to discover this kind of” love, so to appreciate the spirit of which she brings is something that I must speak of. She is reasons I write. She is reasons I want to be better. She is reasons I sit up at night reading. She is reasons I pray. She is reasons I see hope. She is reasons I have reasons to have reasons. Do you not think I have to express these and so much more? I see beauty in you babes and I ain’t afraid to speak on it. I will always see beauty in you.

I May Turn Away But...

I tend to turn away from you Lord when I find myself lost and confused. When all is going well, I give you all the praise and worship that you desire and deserve. I cannot find myself pleading to You when I am without because You been nothing but a provider and protector even when I didn’t deserve it. They say that it is when you are lost that you’re to lean on You but I’d rather lean on you when I’m found. I care not to bring my worries to you because you’ve always been my aide even without me asking. You are my lamp in darkness. Your words dwell in me and pour out in time of need. I thank You for trusting and instilling in me an understanding of who You are and who I am. I know that You’ve trained, guided and shown me the way so I also understand that I must stand when the time comes and trust that You’ll catch me if I fall. Please do not be offended that during my lost state that I do not run to You, as You’ve taught me enough to make it out on the other side. I will always give you praise through any and all things. Thank you for the people You’ve assigned to me. Thank You for the lessons You teach. Thank you for your words that I hide unto my heart. I do ask that You forgive me where I fall short and cleanse me like never before that I may be restored unto You fresh. Thank You Father for never giving up on me and freeing me from my past. Thank You…Thank You!

My Name is Jade

I don’t know why it was so easy but this life was as easy as it comes. I guess as with anything you’re into, you’ll do it well and after all this was in my blood (literally). Everything from obtaining ‘businesses’, to making new acquaintances, it all just fell into my lap. This particular day would prove to be no exception to the normal as I was introduced to someone that opened my eyes endless possibilities.

One of the ways I remained ‘normal’ was to take on normal routines as far as ‘work’ was concerned. Along the way I learned how to complete a number of tasks such as heating and air, small car repair, telecommunications, truck driving and even home remodeling. Now why would someone seemingly successful in another business find the need to learn those other things? Well, in order to remain successful I knew I had to be different. There is no such thing as a successful drug dealer and it is definitely a lifestyle that does not last. Yeah, but why learn those other things? Simple answer is access; it gave me access to people and that opened other doors. Boy-o-boy it opened many doors. The work that opened the most doors was telecommunications. With one push of this doorbell, a lot was changed. This day I had on my telecommunications hat and was accompanying a fellow technician there to install service for a, um we’ll call him Mr. Brian. Mr. Brian was laid back, but loved to talk. The more he spoke the more I became interested in what he did for a living. Me being me, I didn’t hesitate to ask him what he did for a living. He smiled and said, “I’m a pilot”. Feeling that there was more to that, I asked him what company he flew for and he replied with some company I hadn’t heard of. He said that he only flew as he was needed and that it was from the states to Europe. He said he paid well and that he made additional money by flying people back and forth to other locations around the states. He would simply rent a plane (the same one every time) and fly people that could afford it to wherever they choose. Now what would you think, do or say if you were in my shoes and just heard something like that? My eyes were opened so wide I didn’t have to say anything to Mr. Brian (I need to drop the Mr. because he was/is young), he knew I wanted to fly. Without asking, Brian asked me to come by the next day so that he could take me to check out his plane. Thinking about all this is quite amazing because you’d be surprised at the unspoken language in some business transactions. If you know the business you’ll hear it, but if not, you’d be clueless to the business being done right under your nose. This is my language and the language I speak is Jade.

This one will definitely be continued…

Mr. Writer

Um Mr. Writer, I need you to heed your own words! Like for real already my dude.... Adhere to what you know and what you know is REALITY!

Clear Paper

A clear white sheet of paper with no words yet printed on it can sometimes say so much. There’s a lot behind a nothing and so much within blankness. There’s something in its simplicity that says so much without needing anything applied. Its absoluteness and certainty that its purpose is simple and defined and not able to be confused with anything else rings out to me. There’s no obstacle to prevent it from doing its thing. There’s no push back but rather it’s ready and waiting to except the letters that tell the stories as the pages turn. It does not provide a wait and see but beckons to live through imagination or reality. A clear white sheet of paper can teach so much. School is in session, now let the class begin!

TD-H

TD-H
I still delight in your smile. Even when I don’t want too, your ‘you’ makes hope jump inside me. I still gotta write about this thing I share with you. SMH, “what thing”, you may ask and to that I say, “This thing!” Yeah I’m still standing in the gap of you and dancing to the music of you. “What music?” you may ask, and to that I say, “this music”. Yeah we kinda share a smooth methodic dance that when made even the cardinals stop and stare. They do! I’ve seen them come back just to see if the dance of love is growing. Yeah they really do! Just thought you should know that your smile still brightens my space.

Stand For Peculiar

When you make a stance expect that some around you will look at you with the “who do they think they are” attitude. You are not meant to be normal but rather peculiar. If you were meant to be the same as the next person, then you’d bring about no change but rather add to the status quo. Simple enough as it may sound, speak when you should and do not close your eyes to the things that may harm others. The way you care is not like others and your caring has an ability to show others that a change can and often times are the best move for them. Caring is speaking and not holding in or out. Freely give the words that have been poured into you. They save and saved you from many “deaths” and allowed for many second chances so in those chances your destiny is to provide purpose in your days. Look back upon your days and understand that each one provided meaning to the next. Kiss the stance of unwavering faith right on the lips and say that holding back is no longer an option because I love you just that much. 

Man In The Mirror part 2

You can spend a lifetime and never find the taste of life. Yet often times we are surrounded by it and fail to witness it. We ourselves prevent our buds from tasting the flavor that was mixed specifically for us. Whether due to looking in places for the very thing that’s in front of you or choosing a path you choose alone, we block so much from our lives. Look around you and see the weeds in your field and pluck them. You are so much more than you see in your mirror. You are captured power and heavenly manufactured peace. You don’t have to seek, peace, joy and love will find you! Time out for second place and not reaching for the stars and staying complacent in the state that you are in. Stand in the wisdom of knowing that you are important and something meant for sharing in ways that some very, truly blessed person would be lucky to have. You are first and definitely not purposed for last place or loss. The creation of you sparked joy to many, and expectations were placed on you before you laid eyes on this world. You still carry those today, expectations that is. I expect you to know that you are special, unique and carry gifts that are uniquely specialized just for you. As for your mate, they will want each day with you to not end. I will give you a measure to remember when it comes to that mate; if they do not feel that way about you, then they are not your check to your mate. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. I wish you could see that the beauty that environs your days was meant just for you to rejoice in it. I use the word beauty often because it personifies much and many things, but to me it defines perfection as close as possible to heaven I could imagine. It actually brings a smile to my face now when thinking of the power beauty brings. Don’t miss your flavors any further. Know that when you see me I’m praying for you and expecting nothing but the best for you. I am in your corner and together we will win this race of life. Today is your beginning and remember that anyone interested in running this race with you will suit up and let you know that they are in. So until then…ready, set……go!

Random Vision

tonight i'm reminded of your presence. i can see ur pretty white dress as you enter the room (or area). the weather is perfect and its as if heaven has opened up its best view for the occasion. you look absolutely amazing, so much so that a tear drops from my eye. ur smile is capturing hearts across the aisle. i mean u look beautiful. there's a pianist playing a solo. i'm singing to u as u make ur approach. its so vivid that i swear i can reach out and touch u now. y would such a dream like this be so realistic and ur soooo far away, there's a video of u playing too...from birth to current day. i can hear the water in the background. u have no idea the vison i see of u. none!!!

My Name is Jade

What do you do when the police raid your mother’s home, looking for you? Trust me, it’s a call that you do not want to receive. “Jade, the police is here looking for you.” Yeah, definitely not something you want to have your mother go through. There’s a lot that runs through your head when something like that happens. What are they there for? What are they looking for? Is there anything there that they could find? Will moms let them know where I am? Are they headed here now? Yeah, the lists of questions go on-and-on. We’ve all seen those CSI shows so you know that you have to move fast and oh, get off the phone. That happens to be a knack of mine, moving fast that is. I tend to think fast on my feet and make good decisions in situations such as these. I mean, what am I doing? I gotta make some changes here.

The police raided my mother’s home due to an outstanding traffic violation. Who’s ever heard of such a thing? I’ve been smart all my life, or rather I’d like to think I’ve been. There are a lot of things that happen when things come out into the open. First the “shock” that something like this could happen. That one always gets me because when you reap from something you know damn well is not on the up and up, why would you be shocked when something like this happens? Are you really that blind to the things around you? What 23 year old with no college experience or professional contract somewhere drives a new Range, Benz and Jag and owns 3 homes all without truly working “full time”? Um unless that 23 year old comes from money, then don’t be blind to these things. It’s ok though, many people like to enjoy the ride for as long as it last, but when the ride ends don’t pretend that you didn’t notice the views along the way. The second thing that typically happens is you lose people that use to be clinging to your nuts. Now if you’re smart you expected that one to happen. I mean it takes a lot to stand with something that is embarrassing and dangerous, so you’d be a fool to expect everyone to stand by your side.

The goal of the police that day was simple, it was meant to let me know that they were on to me and it would be a matter of time before I was either paying them, locked up or dead and as I said I think fast on my feet and knew I wouldn’t be doing either of those 3 things.

Let’s not forget, when in power you make powerful friends and they would prove to be beneficial to me during my exit. This is my story and my name is Jade.

My Name is Jade

She didn’t know either by choice and naïve. As from my perspective it was best that she did not know anything. If anything were to happen, she would truly be clueless to the things around her. Understand though, she was no dummy and had an idea of some things but not anything for certain. I remember her asking me why I never brought my friends around and why is it that people know us and I’d always say because I don’t and because they do. I would tell her to not ask me questions about things and she knew it was simply better not too. I remember her sitting in courtrooms with both a look of, ‘why we are here ’and ‘why are we really here’.

I remember her and I going to a Hawks game and while walking into the stadium we ran into one of my ‘people’ and he was definitely not anyone she’d seen me with before. He and I chatted for a second about ‘things’ and afterward she and I continued into the game. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she asked, “How do you know him?” Of course my response was, “I just do” and I expected that to be the end of that but this one she could not let go. She pressed and asked again and again how I’d knew him. To her defense he looked like what some people would call a street thug or whatever. He was tatted from head to toe with the infamous tear drop tat, which signifies you’ve killed someone. He’s definitely not someone you’d feel safe around unless you knew him lol. No matter how much she asked, my reply remained the same. In an effort to calm her, I told her I’d invite him to the next get together we had and that was enough to quiet her.

I have many stories to tell and many chapters within those stories and I hope that in the end I am able to convince someone to change for the better. As you read these stories you’ll see that most if not all the people I dealt with on a close level are either in jail or dead. This does not end well and it hasn’t been well for me either. I’ve faced some struggles and still do, so in no way should you look upon this and think that this is the life to live. Trust me, the sound of a bullet entering flesh or the smell of drugs being cooked or the sound of a jail cell locking you in are all things you’d like to forget but would never be able to do. I write because it’s in me to do so, not to paint a picture of glory. This is my story and my name is Jade!

Hide N Gone

Close your eyes and count to ten and see if you ever get this again. You charmed your way in my territory but today is eviction day so I suggest you remove your possessions from this space. You see I see through you and I am no longer caught in your magnetism. Yes you had me at hello, but now experience the loss of me at goodbye. Look, I’m not going to make this long, ………. {enter awkward silence}…………….. you still here?

My Name is Jade

If I were transparent you’d see the break in my heart. As she returns to another I witness the dreams of my tomorrow pass away slowly. Like walking through a mall, you’d see right through me and see everything on the shelves of my life. The pain of loneness and lost might have you standing in aw for a while. If I were to be honest for a moment I’d say that I’m tired of losing out on the things I want most. I’d say, what’s the point in being and doing the right thing? You’d see the little boy from Ada floating in a sea of tears held back only from life’s pains that was built out of frustrations. If you stepped into my shoes you’d burn with the feeling that my dreams, while so vivid and reality to my current being are such a torturous place. When does this all end? When does the pleasure of tasting that which is good, stop ending in loss and start ceasing to end, but rather last an eternity? If I exposed myself fully, many would see the falling inside me that beckons to be caught, kept, loved and mended from the many breaks in my heart. At the sacrifice of me, I pray that all others joy remains with them and that they obtain everything that they desire and keep the things they need. If I were transparent you’d see that through my brokenness I am constantly healed in the faith that my architect designed me so unique that only 1 special person may inhabit this space along with me. You’d see that I can suffer much if it that which I suffer for is truly intended for me and for me alone. Healed…and my name is Jade

My Name is Jade

This is no movie and it happens in many of the cities you live in. It may seem truly unbelievable that things such as these really happen but pierce through my eyes and you’ll soon discover that a war is being fought daily right in your backyard and right in here these United States of America.
Dinner amongst “friends” is supposed to be nice and relaxing. It’s supposed to be filled with laughter and good conversation and perhaps some toast to the good week you had. Yeah that’s the way things are supposed to be but that is definitely not my life. None-the-less me and some “friends” decided to head out for some seafood feasting and later get into whatever or whomever. There we were, living the good life and having a blast, but things are never as they seem in this lifestyle and soon the laughter would turn into a nightmare. Now no matter what I’m doing or where I am, I am always aware of my surroundings and that night would test just how aware I truly was. I remember the waiter bringing extra napkins while the servers were handing out the plates that were ordered. Man this was some scarface type of crap too, because one of the servers had that white scarf over his arm while showing off the bottle of wine that was to be poured. It was some real classy ish. I remember the older couple that was coming through the door, as they looked like a nice couple. He was fair skinned and she had a caramel completion. I even remember the neon light from the restaurant sign glowing on street and the ripples in the puddle of water as cars drove by. I remember a silver lexus pulling up to the curb, seemingly looking for valet, but when the car crept up approximately 5 feet and then went into reverse, I knew something was not right. Before I could get a word out…….Boom, Bang, Bang, Bow!!! Gun shots rang out and the chaos began. As you can imagine, the screaming, running and glass breaking began and for the party I was with, gunfire was returned. I swear it seemed like hours were passing but it all took place within a 5 minute period. 5 minutes and 1 second later, there was complete dead silence. It’s quite weird when you hear silence such as that and 2 seconds later the noise begins. I remember Bo shouting at me saying, “You hit? You hit?” Not a word left my lips and he figured I was good and went to check others. “Nooooo! Come on dawg! Get up! Get up! I will never forget the sound of death in a voice, as I could hear Bo trying to call death away from Jermaine who’d been shot 4 times and was killed instantly. As I stood there, thinking and understanding the magnitude of what just took place and slowly began to understand that this was not something random and that somehow this was something that had been planned and planned with the help of one of my “friends”. I lost a close friend that night and instead of Jermaine on the tombstone it could have read, My Name is Jade!

Time in a Bottle

Time spent with someone you care for is nice and it’s even better when spent with someone you love. When you experience that kind of time in a bottle everything suddenly has life. You notice the random colors that surround you and the lyrics in songs have strong meaning to them. As the investment in time is being counted and stored you find that you’ve grown an expanded in ways you hadn’t expected you would. You last in moments that you’ve shared and are able to smile at the many flashes that kept the explosive chemistry between you and them. Give me just another day to swim in your arms and awake to your morning smile. Show me where, how, when and what I’d have to do to keep times pace from catching up to tomorrows sunset. As I stand in the shadow of this passing day, I ponder at the audacity of hope that these things that each has given will not fade into its darkness. With lifted spirits I am joyed at the many comforts, conversations, smiles and laughter, touches and kisses and the simple calmness we’ve shared and they shall remain with me for a lifetime. So sure I’ve been, that the you and I time would never falter that this time that is before me does not come without a slew of emotions and killed moments that takes a piece of my soul away forever. I still find rest in the days I gave and peace in the knowing that everything in me was poured without limitations and for that, I will forever be grateful to have had you be a part of me and I too you.

X-pression

Yeah she won’t see me standing in front of her because her vision is blocked. There is no more to be done and no words that need to be spoken any further. No matter the amount of substance that’s poured it will be mistaken for something else. The doubts or worries remain and pulls her away just as the taste of her stains my days. Expression is life and the ability to live through it defines me, but I’m stifled by slipping hands I once held and lips I’ve kissed freely. When I reach will your arms be there to comfort the lost thoughts that cripple my dreams or shall I remain on a collision course with vanished moments. She is so close and yet so far away that it is like looking through waters that run deep. When settled, all is calm and clear but that one pebble that breaks the tranquility unsettles so much that even I am lost in the waves it makes. The dilemma is that I’ve seen her views unblocked and it fed me for a lifetime but I’m in need of a quick quenching and I hope it comes soon. Words are my expression.

Back To Bed

Will you come back to bed baby? I want to lay here a while longer and enjoy the small moments that present themselves for the taking. Rest here and lay your head on my chest as I run my fingers through your hair. There’s time always remaining and is never past due when it comes to a you and I. Climb back underneath these covers and roll up next to me so that I can feel your skin breathing against mine. Settle my missing you passion with your presence. ‘Tap, tap’, yes, right here baby, place your making right here! Shh, rest your cares, concerns, thoughts and words under the silence of this calming space. You are my present this morning, so come here so that I can say good morning to you the proper way. Slip out of those clothes and remove those slippers…yeah that’s it, come here baby. We don’t need to be in a hurry today. Good morning baby!!!

Tunnel Vision

My mind is like a tunnel with the outer edges always changing. The center is always smooth and calm but the walls are difficult to read and understand but are filled with life and abundance. The center is paved with black shiny stone and is endless, while the walls are painted with brilliant colors that are ever changing in motion. Picking one particular thing to focus on is nearly impossible as the beauty of it is so marvelous that finding that one thing cannot be. The movement of it all is seamless and soft and beckons to be touched but its distance won’t allow for it. There are colors that have yet to be named dotted throughout. You might confuse its dance with confusion but it tells a story that calms even the deepest thoughts. My mind provides peace that even, even when I should be torn I am easy. I wish I could find a way to paint the dotted expressions that cover its canvas. What a joyous place that stays with me and is accessible at any given point. 

Sorry

All I know how to do is love. Sorry

What If

What if I’d never met you and I never asked for your hand to dance? What if I’d never invited you out to dinner? What if I never looked into those amazing eyes? What if my heart didn’t skip a beat whenever you are near me? What if I’d never kissed or made love to you? What if I hadn’t seen my future in your smile? What if opportunity never knocked or that the signs that said go, where changed to stop? What if you weren’t all the things I’ve prayed for and then some and some yet to be revealed? What if I hadn’t asked for your hand in marriage and promised you that every day for the rest my life I would love and cherish you? What if I didn’t get to dance with you as my bride? What if you never had our children? What if we didn’t get to take walks through the park or cuddle next to each other while watching a movie? What if kissing you never became my joy? What if our home never was? What if breakfast in bed was never prepared? What if I couldn’t express myself to you and you to me? What if you never read anything I wrote? What if I ignored your passions and never fed into them? What if after years together I missed your beauty? What if I never realized just how beautiful you are? What if time never allowed for investment in you? What if I never truly got to know you and missed out on the loves of my life? What if I didn’t realize you were worth the fight? What if I saw you as just another woman? What if I wasn’t thinking of how much I enjoy you and how much I want my future to be with you? What if you say yes?

For Me

If we never learn from our past then our past is certainly bound to repeat itself. Whether good or bad, the choices we make will define who we are. While everyone would love to have just the good, often times it is the bad that we try desperately to run from. We all carry “bad” in our lives and some are worse than others. We can choose the direction we will go in by making better choices and those choices can be found or started in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. Have you ever been around a group of negative people and listened to their conversation? What you’ll find is that somehow the positive things are always turned into a negative in some way. Take this one for example, “John just bought a nice new car. I don’t know what he gone do now when it comes to getting gas. Shoot he’ll probably end up losing it because he can’t afford the gas.” You may have picture someone you know when you read that. Hopefully they are not in your circle of “people food”. Everything we eat feeds our body in some way or another and the same can be said of the people who feed words into our lives. Look for the good and make it your routine and imprint your good unto the things that surround you. Choose the good and do not dwell in the bad. With this small change, today’s tomorrows will be filled with good presents.

A Dance

Will you slow dance with me? Will you slow dance with me just a little while longer? Will you slow dance with me and make it last an eternity? Will our moment stay? Will we be completed in the song of hope? Will you slow dance with me and rest your cares into my chest? Will tomorrow’s melody be silenced from interruption? Will you slow dance with me and look up into my eyes and find comfort? Will you slow dance with me under the matching heartbeats we share? Will you take my hand and lead me to the dance floor and say, “dance with me slowly”? Will you slow dance with me and never let it end……never let it end

Dear Writer

You are smart, kind, giving, loving, excepting, willing, able, wise, encouraged, patient and many other things. You will rest in everything you dream of and more. You are rare when it comes to giving, because you give through and with your heart. All the challenges and setbacks that you’ve faced will only elevate you into your hemisphere. You have many talents to offer too many people and things. You are a beauty that I think is rare, as you are able to find beauty in places, things and people that others may overlook. You amaze me at how you connect all things in the path of life and provide life and meaning to them. The way you open yourself up to love is an experience that few do and I hope you never lose that. Your song carries its own unique tune and its sound cannot ever be silenced once it has been heard. You have an uncanny ability to pick yourself up when you’ve been down, but the biggest difference in that is that you do it with a smile and very few regrets. You go for what you want and ignore the “no’s” until you’ve obtained your destiny. You write through love. Your gifts are worth so much and even though you may realize some of your worth, you may not know just how valuable you are. You are life, and the many abundances that it offers are all yours. I love you.

I Wonder

I wondered if she’d think of me. Would she think of me as minutes passed by. Would she wonder where I could be. Would she wonder what I am doing. Would she wish that she were here instead of there. Would I fade away from her thoughts or would an everlasting spec of me cause her heart to rest no more and find a need for me. I wonder if I’ve made an imprint unto her soul that’s so powerful that even while away it connects her to me and I to her. I wonder if the moments that have been captured are strong enough to turn away the hands of another. Would those delicate kisses still have feeling while I’m away. I wonder if she’s ever felt my heart race for her. I wondered what goes through her thoughts when she looked into my eyes, especially at the very second they were speaking a love language. I wonder if she’d think about her hands in mine and smile. I wonder if she knows that waking next to her is what they call morning delight. I wonder as she ponders her days, how much or how little I’m in the future of them. I wonder if she knows that I’d climb a mountain of “no’s” to get to her “yes”. I wonder at what moment she will take “this thing” we have and breathe it into her fabric. I wonder if it is the start of love that I see in her smile. I wonder when I am gone would she……….

Time

Ok, so this thing called time is forever a changing momentum in life. Most of the days you end up with little of it to do the things you'd like too, but sometimes a gift of time is given for the very thing (s) that the time was designed for. I believe everything is based on numbers and therefore everything is connected and divisable by another. At the perfect moment in space I've been gifted a present that only the movement of life would offer. Ironically the T that equals X is running out and the answer to times equation will be complete. Only the X factor will not necessarily complete the riddle, but in fact lead to another equation that opens to more time. So how do you calculate the block of time seemingly placed in the center of space that brought upon something new? Well,I think the answer to that is T squarred by E = X. The reason for the solution is that momentum swings in the way of the progression which leads to new starts. That my friends is the answer to the riddle that ponders many.

My Name is Jade

You’d be amazed at the things you may be over looking. Home purchase, car rental, haircuts and car purchases are or can be nothing more than a legitimizing face to something that is truly far different from what it looks like on the outside. I mean come on, we (black people) know that most (if not all) barber shops is the place you go to get a hook up on anything you want or need. You need music, you hit the shop. You need clothes, you hit the shop. You need movies, you hit the shop. You need purses, hair, jewelry, weed or whatever, you hit the shop. Sorry shop owners but yawl know and yawl also know that that is not a secret. I mean the shop is life line to what’s going on. You have to be able to walk in a shop and it feel like “cheers”, where everyone knows your face and not your “real” name lol. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some legit businesses out there but huh, well you know. Ok, so what’s my point to all this? Well my first big “break” came from the barber shop and from that break came others. Out of all the breaks I’ve come across, there was one that crossed boarders and it came in the form of a used car lot. Now we’ve all seen the buy here pay here spots with the luxury cars that will give you financing even with no proof of income. You bring cash, you ride! Man you gotta love America. I mean where else can you walk into a dealership with nothing but cash and drive out with a Benz, Jag or whatever else you’d like? Heck, in some cases you don’t even need a driver’s license; you just need a name and a “pass”. Now people please don’t walk into a dealership and say you gotta a pass and want a car, cause your feelings might get hurt. For those of you that know what I mean when I say a “pass”, you know what I mean, but for those that don’t, it is basically credit by name alone but that name is understood to be good for it. So there I was in need or more in want of something new to drive around in and found myself sitting in Mr. Mohammad’s office being given the choice of whatever I wanted. Mr. Mohammad was a very successful “dealer” (cars) with ties to “dealers” that could get pretty much anything he wanted. I remember him so well because he didn’t say much, he just nodded his head or gave a look and people knew what he meant. There wasn’t a sense of power or ownership, it was more an understanding. For some reason he took to me and embraced me and with that my name was truly born and even today it still is. My name is Jade……. While I obviously change the names of people and businesses I will give a little hint to today’s story…… This business shares the name of the greatest one of all time and I was next door to it today (5-25-11).

TDH

TDH I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day!


You've wondered what, why, who, how I could say that so freely so allow me to explain why it is offered so freely from me to you.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

All of these apply to you today and tomorrow but what sort of confirms it is that it's been really easy and fluent. Daily it's being preserved, and for these I am always grateful and will always express these things. I once thought that love would elude me always. What I know you can't see is that no longer do I live there. Today I now know that Corinthians love cannot be contained, and when it is set free and freely given, it returns onto you fully charged and in acceptance of all that comes along with it. Tiffany it has and continues to amaze me just how much your lil butt has enlightened me. While I've always been covered under grace, I failed to realize that a promise of love was spoken over me long before the creation of me. Being that life lives and will live regardless, it was through you that such a revelation was birthed. So yes, your name was used and no it shall not be deleted. Because of you, I now live again with expectation to expect all.

Thanks babes.....


This is me..this is who I am..I gotta pay attention to the whispers

Questions

Do you know my likes and dislikes, or are you so complacent that those things elude you? Did you hear what I said or were you listening to what you wanted to hear? Have I not revealed myself enough to you, that you may want to stand alongside me? Have you chosen to look upon this thing with blinders on and live through limitations? Does not the sound of my voice leaves an expectation of more to come? Have you seen delight in my eyes as I settle upon yours? Have you opened yourself with the knowing that connections are made this way? Have you rested on the possibility of possibilities? Do you know that I’ll cover you through anything? Do you know that all that is mine is proposed for you too? Have you heard life within me as I converse with you? Has your mind convicted you beyond doubt and arrested you the thought that my love is YOUR love? Has love surprised you in ways you hadn’t thought of previously? Do you know I’ll stand for you? Can you feel me? Do you understand me? Do you know I’d wait a lifetime for you? Do you know time that which is given is always a gift and this time has been nothing but a gifting event for me? Do you realize that something meant for darkness has brought such a powerful and beautiful light unto me? To answer that first question, it is you and the thought of ever losing that.

To The Point

Woman your skin calls to me and I sit anxiously awaiting its call. This will not be long, nor evasive, but it will be straight to the point. As I rest here and search into your eyes, I am connected to your making. It's quite amazing just how you've rested upon, inside and out of my thoughts. I'm missing you, even as you rest next to me now, but as the song says, sometimes you make me smile even though no words are spoken, but through subtle moments I am awaken in your beauty. As I said, this will not be long, nor evasive but straight to the point, so here it is...Woman, friend, confidant, lover and better half of me, I end with, I love you!

Bored

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack done gone and said some ish that got his azz kicked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, I just hope she’s on the pill.
Little boy Peep ended up being a freak.
Any, many, miny moe, tonight I’m trying to find the one that’ll be my H**.
Abra kadabra, all aka zam, don’t know why I’m thinking of lil BAM BAM.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock – man that lil mouse gone get shot!
Jack and the bean stalk – yeah…what was up with that anyway? Just saying!

She is something ELSE

Live a Little

Ok, so the world was supposed to end at 6pm today and it is now 7pm, so I guess it’s safe to say it ain’t happening. I couldn’t help but think should anything be changed prior to the end. Should I do anything different? I mean, I kind of like my life and the people in it. As with anything I know there are some changes that if made would benefit me and my love ones but overall, deep down what changes would be so drastic that it literally changes the makeup of me. Spend more time with love ones? Read more? Pray more? Travel more? Yeah, yeah stuff like that, but any abnormal change would not be genuine and therefore would not reflect the purity of me; correct? Yeah, I’m rambling on and on but hey these are my thoughts. I ponder life’s questions often and I believe that you must grab it by the horns and enjoy the ride. Live to live and live to discover the undiscovered. Wrap yourself up in the loves of your life and allow it to take you to new places; places you hadn’t even thought of. Its experience has been created just for you and you just for it. See it and lay against it.

Through the Dark

Through dark, woman I will feel my way through to you
Close your eyes and glide along with me
Let this breeze flow freely between the chemistry between us
Take me in slowly like a fine slow aged wine
Feel every representative of my soul as I touch the making of you
Woman your pleasure is my quest
So be the director to these hands and guide me along the right spot (s)

Whisper what you’ve never uttered prior
As I dance to the groove of your hip motion
place
Those chocolate legs around the waist that grinds upon you

Imma be here for a moment so rest your cares onto me as
These hands that brush along the smooth beauty of your face be
Allowed to take you further than any distance you’ve been measured

Deeper I will seek your burst all the while pulling, grabbing, touching and kissing
Along your canvas, I will become Picasso
This moment was danced along time prior to now


and oh so how I’ve waited for this
and so...
I can hardly contain the beat that hearts beat for you

You’ve breathed next to me, but
Tonight the race of your lungs catching up to the rhyme of
The sounds of making love
Shall be the delicacy that tongues desire
As I taste the pleasure of
All of you
From your making to every fiber of YOU and
Through darkness, I will paint your beauty, so that it stains my thoughts always

For Me

Life is short and you never know when your moment will come. Sounds blah blah blah but you truly never know when you are done. Today I’m tired. I’m tired of keeping things in, even though I don’t know how else to be. I’ve seen death come in many forms and at random times so you’d think this death wouldn’t be so difficult to swallow but it is. With tears forming in my eyes the feeling of alone settles up against me. The world lost a good person this week. I mean an overall good person. You know when someone is just good to be around? Someone who cared not for themselves first? Yeah, that kind of person was lost this week and I’m trying to deal with it bravely but all I want to do is lean on someone and shed a tear or two. This has been a reflection type of experience for me, as so often death does, and it has made me look differently upon many things. One of the things I look upon is the saying, give and it shall be given unto you, but tonight as I write this I question it. Another is knowing based off feeling and I think that maybe knowing is really not knowing anything at all (hard to explain). I’ve liked who I am because I consider myself to think of others first and would give my all to anyone in need or so I hope. I don’t put my worries or feelings out there much because I don’t trust that they will be protected, but sometimes I want to just rest with someone and transparently reveal myself. It is then that a release can take place. I trust in God and know that He is my comforter but I also believe in people that He places in my life and therefore look (sometimes) to them to just know. Can you not see that I am not myself or is it that you care not? No this is not to you, it is for me. I moved people out of my life and I believe that you must do this continually throughout life but sometimes it is not that a removal is needed but more a conversation that’s needed. Writing helps me in so many ways and I can feel the power of it moving as I express myself through words. Lord, I am broken in a couple different ways and I need your help to put me back together again. You know my heart and you know what I need, so I ask that you simply be who You are to me. I’m tired. I can’t carry these things much longer, so will you send me help and when you do, do not allow me to mess it up in any capacity. Well that’s all I got to say tonight.

Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

My Name is Jade

So you wanna know if I got another side huh? Look partna, I will never hesitate to whip ass as needed. Big, medium or small, they all fall the same. I will take a beat down too, but you best believe my return will be fire like you’ve never seen. Why question a history that you play no part in? Don’t you know you should always know the history before you start the battle? Look, my silence is golden but when and if I have to speak on this level, rest assured there are consequences behind responses. I don’t believe in cocking back unless necessary, to which all I’ll say is yeah ok, but these hands will break down the best of em. Yeah, so uh that’s enough of word slanging, now get at me when you ready. Oh and in case you forgot, my name is Jade!

You Gone Walk With Me?

You gone walk with me? You gone trust that my footsteps will lead to you into fresh unchartered paradise? Do you realize that that would be my desire? Do you understand that there would be no limits to how high I’d reach for you? Do you know that I would make it my business to complete you? Do you distinguish that I’d expand your mind in efforts to compose your destiny like a fine tuned symphony? You should allow me to explore you like a dark, deep, moist cave that has never been discovered. Sanction me against you like I was made for you, is where I’d like to be. Would I be allowed to be your puff to your coco? Do you know that I want to be your beginning, middle and end? Do you know that I want to learn you like a,b,c’s? Woman, these footsteps will carry you when you’re in need, when you are ready. Do you know that I pray over you and ask that angels protect you in all of your coming and going? Do you know that your smile provide life? Do you know that I’d plant “us” in fertile ground? I see my gift in your eyes; did you know that? Would you mind if I danced a life with you? Yeah, I’d love to experience that kind of paradise with you. So um, are you gone walk with me?

My Name is Jade

With power comes these things: I’ll get that for you… You stay put, I got it… What do you need… Is there anything I can do?

The unusual moments that creep up that you are not expecting are the ones that provide meaning in life. So there she was, in all her magnificence (yeah I used the right word) coming toward me and there was nothing that could release my eyes from her motion. Strangely enough I was deep into a conversation with someone at the very moment she passed by, but everything/everyone faded away with each step she made. Like a kid in a candy store I knew I had to have her and if it took setting up a lemonade stand to raise money, I was going to do just that so that I could go back and get my candy. Didn’t matter what obstacles lay ahead, all I knew was that I’d never experienced the fading of others in a given space and leaving only “her” within it.
If there is/was anything I was used to, it was getting what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted it. This would prove to be very different for me as her “no’s” became the norm. As you can imagine, anytime you have something worthy of fighting, you will do what you have to do to obtain it. I’ve always been laid back and let things roll off my shoulders because end the end, the ball always rolled to my corner but for some reason this damn ball would not play fair. With each passing day the lure of her grew. Now, yes yes yes, we spent a lot of time together and yes to any questions that may be running through your head, but that’s for another chapter in this book. Since the ball would not play fairly, she became the hour to my glass as our time began to run out due to other factors somewhat beyond my control. While things were not necessarily handed to me always, many times they were but the things I had to fight for are still with me today. She would prove to be no different as I was prepared to suit up my armor and battle for as long as it would take to obtain the desire of core. With so much to lose and gain, I was ready and marched in with weapons drawn (no not literally) and would find that a battle of adoration was like battling myself. There would be so many lessons I’d learn and challenges I push through. Along with some losses, I’d gain some victories but with each clash I’d become stronger for what rest ahead and what rest ahead, not even I was truly prepared for. This is my story and my name is Jade!

Pensive Moment

Pensively in time I lay tired and at wits end. Not sure why I’m reminded of Kings famous words of, “Mine eyes have seen the coming of”, but it’s mystifying at this moment as mine eyes, touch, taste, smell, gift and present have danced in the space of music that is yet not available. To its rhythm I have moved and its cosmos has opened to my existing within it. Have mine eyes deceived me and I’ve visited an unrealistic touch of possibility? Occupation so rich and near that I can taste it, yet its holder clamps firmly on yesterday’s experiences. Still, still I rise (thanks Maya) ready, willing and able to face lost dreams through the hope to which I remain a prisoner of. A piece of me dies daily for a gift that came at exactly the right moment, because I am unable to fully unwrap its offer on me, yet I will tell the mind to rest now, and think no more of yes we can’s but rather rest in your comfort to know that an imprint left behind in space, remains persistently a voice of faith.

Tide

Don’t know how much longer I can exist in this capacity because it staggers me into positions that are not conducive to whom I am. There’s a song that says, “Sitting at the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away” and while it may be a comforting view, I’d want to jump in and roll with it. Take me wherever it will and allow me to experience the full ride of its journey. It’s a beautiful view from where I’m sitting and I want the view to last a while but there are clouds forming on the horizon. I’ll face them with preparation and hope that the beauty to which I am comforted in returns to rare form and hugs me tightly with its charm.

Inspiration

Inspiration comes from many places and there is beauty in it all, if you open up to it. Words on a page, a smile from that someone, a night’s sky, a change of seasons, a baby’s rest, and the nature that lives amongst us are just a few things that provide food to our thoughts. Everything that makes us who we are needs nurturing in some form or fashion. Today my rest came from two places. The first was smile that always opens my pores and allows for fullness to overtake every aspect of who it is that I am. Everything fades when I am under it and it lays upon me and provides comfort and rest; as if to say, “peace be still. I got this.” The second were words on a page which providing a lesson that fed my unknowingly need for the day. To me there is nothing greater than giving and I was reminded that it is who I am, and who I am cannot live fully without sharing my “water” with others. So today I send my words on this paper to myself. Let it be a reminder that, that which I drink shall also be poured out in return.

My Name is Jade

I’m not sure if you ever truly let go of your past. It is what defines me now. If it were not for it, I would not be who I am today. The thing that I grapple with is sometimes it feels easy to become trapped or more less drawn back into it. Power and ability are strong enough to stay with you through whatever you face in life and to have had it at will sometimes carry over into other aspects of my life. The thing that adds to that power is the fact that it was done in silence. Diddy and Biggie were right when they said, “bad boys move in silence”. To me that’s a piece that is lost in todays “world”. Silence is dead. It’s dead from every aspect of the word too. If you are hustling, you feel the need to let the world know and that’s a concept that I just don’t understand. I need to offer up a small piece of advice or wisdom lol…. Those that are seen but not heard are those with power and those that are heard will never be seen as anything but a thug. Last thing… a thug never stays around for long. My name is Jade…

My Name is Jade

Come on and fly with me. Keep up if you can. I will need you to dig your heels in, put on your belt and hold on tight. There will be moments when you want to shut your eyes, and when you get that urge, I suggest that you do. Look, all I’m saying is that I know that you’ve never experienced anything close to what I am about to show you. That doesn’t mean be afraid, it means be prepared. Understand that what I am telling you real and you should not doubt it. This, this right here will cause you to think beyond what you are accustomed to thinking. As a matter of fact, let’s call this experience an expansion. You ready? This is my world and my name is Jade.

I Bought You

You was on sale and so I bought you. I didn't really want you, nor did I have a taste for you but the price was good so a purchase was made. I set you on the counter and gave you no mind and figured I'd get to you when I got to you. You seemed content with where I placed you. Time passed and there you stayed and I gave no mention of you. Before long it was time to replace you and it meant nothing to me. The price I'd paid were pennies in a bucket and just like that you was out with the trash. Not a thought was given of you, and all...all...because you didn't value your own you!

Sister you are more than a body! You are priceless!

Heart of Opportunity

Can a heart be in 2 places? I have heard this question asked before and for me the answer is hands down no. You only have 1 heart to give and/or share, so when you place it in a place, it is there to remain until you take it away. Sure your thoughts can be in many places but when one has the heart of another, then the one with it holds the box of opportunity. It is for them to understand the opportunity and too protect it as needed. Protection comes in many forms and I mean it in many ways. I may distract someones attention but if a heart is taken then the distraction will be limited by time; that is to say, only if the keeper of it protects it. A kingdoms weakness should never be revealed to others outside it because there are others that want it. Therefore a King is to protect, keep, cherish, feed and love his kingdom and understand the needs of it. If another makes their way into the kingdoms chambers then it is bound to fall, as now the other has tasted its offers and shall surely desire it as their own. Keep what you cherish, under protection and listen to the heart of your opportunity.

Motionless Life

She is all that makes life move but yet I am motionless to reach her. No matter which words I choose for they fall upon deaf ears. From flowers to gifts they all end in failed attempts. Through phone calls and text message an expression is given, only to be deleted and not taken in. From and through effort a design is formed, and through determination something new is born. From those I find ways to feed my purpose even when adversity stares me in the eye and says I cannot or will not obtain that which you seek. Look at me, all ready, willing and able to transcend "myself's" still body and transform it into a seamless work of you. You may not see, feel, taste or touch the meanings of these words but I pray that one day you may find that my move is contoured to your motion and that its outline is dotted with you as a part of me. Do I write more or have these black letters on this white paper said enough? ....to be continued....

Come Outside

Come on outside and enjoy this days spring air
Lap me up with dew delight
Start another moment but make it fresh
Live in the moment with care

Watch me move all around you
Catch me as deep as you can
Ha ha, stop and smell my roses
Taste this new

Pause for second in your mind
See what pleasures abound
Feel its breathe among you
Go slowly, for we have nothing but time

Hey you, yes you, whose smile matches my offer
Look your garden is full of passions fruit
I've supplied the fertilization to your moon
All that is needed now is to remove the buffer

Yeah it's a nice day to be out
I wanted you to have joy in every corner
I'm at your back while reaching your front
After today you'll have no doubt

Bet you hadn't planned on this
Surrounded by the essence of essence
OMG just for you?
It's your everything that once was your wish list

Slowly, slowly I will treat you to today's gift
You see, you touch, you taste, you experience
All, all that I've come to give
And presented to you; will you except ****?

Elijah Christopher-Dey House

I remember singing to you inside your mothers womb. I remember rubbing her belly, and every time I did, you would move closer to my hand. I knew you could hear my voice and feel my touch, long before you would see the light of this world. I remember seeing you for the first time. You were so small and covered in body fluids. The doctors/nurses took you to be washed, measured and weighed you, and all the while you never really made a sound. I remember the first time I held you in my arms; to my joy, you smiled. I lifted you up to my face and smelled your beautiful skin. My nose to yours, my eyes to yours, I knew my life would never be the same again; it would be forever better. Tears formed in my eyes, as it was a love I'd never experienced. I swear I got you to smile at me the day that you was born lol. I get a little teary eyed now as I think about your first day with me. I could tell that you felt at home with me as I held you. There were many people there to greet you, but when I held you first and it were as if I were holding an angel. You had on one of those hospital caps lol, looking like joy. I have had many joyful moments with you and I want you to know that daddy will always love you. I've loved you long before the light of this world shined upon you.

Learning Love

I often write about love as I've been blessed to experience, taste, touch, smell, give, except, witness and miss it, so it breathes in me and with everything in my lungs it expresses me. Ironically I miss its exposure to me as it is dangled in front of me only to never be had. I learn from it though. Things like words and their meaning. Things like expressions and the things behind them. Things like desires and the reason for them. Things like expectations and why they are placed. Things as simple as a touch or peck on the cheek and the offer applied to them. Forms of love come in many packages and I am thankful that today I learn just what love truly is and how it truly conforms to the many situations that abound me daily. More recently I touched a future of endless joy and possibilities and enjoyed its feel and with its touch came the pause of loves power. Yet today I still dance in loves melody, as I've learned that it's a gift and any pleasure in it should be placed as joy. So I have joyfully watched smiles, dances, touches, kisses, hugs, laughter and even arguments pass over time and I so look forward to today's gifts.

Confusions Light

Confusion use to surround me but now more clearer do I see things. As if trapped by loves blinding light, I could not make sense of the beauty before me. I could feel the design of it's contour and knew that its makeup was created to fit my layout, but for reasons beyond my realm I could not make the pieces of "now", fit the pieces of "yes". It was my bridge of clouds that I felt was my destiny and I was ready to walk it. "Here, grab my hand and follow me", and with that a reach back was left void. Was the bridge placed for me? Would I have enough faith to still trust that it was? Unmoveable and strong was the connection I felt while standing on it. Indeed must I walk it, even if no hand was there to bind mine. What a tall order to fill, but along the way I discovered how easy the journey would be and the clouds to which I once viewed were suddenly clear and there was no more confusion and there stood the light of love and all her beauty was truly defined as - YOU!

My Name is Jade

So there I was sitting in the back seat of a police car. Humiliated as people were walking by to see who was sitting in the police car. I tried to lean down but the officer said, "sit up". It was a feeling I'd never forget but sadly it was a feeling I would experience more times then I would have liked too. I was booked into custody which meant I was finger printed, photoed, searched and had all my property that was on me taken, even my clothes. I was given an orange jump suit and oh, they took my drawls too because they were not white. FYI if you are committing crimes, I'd suggest that you were white underwear just in case you get caught, you can leave them on. After being given a peanut butter sandwich and milk (which I gave away) I, along with others were led to our new "rooms", better known as jail cells. Now I was arrested around 1pm and didn't get into my room until 2am. Yeah, it's a process and I think it's a process that is setup to piss you off.

The next morning, the lights came on and the jail cell doors were unlocked. It was time for breakfast. Locked up for the first time causes your appetite to go away, so I planned to just sit and wait until someone came to bail me out; only I wasn't the only person in my cell and he offered some advice to me, "I'd come get this food cuz. It's gone be a while before they come back around". So I jumped down off my cot and walked toward the line to which the food was being handed out. As I reached the door and looked down at the officer passing the food out, I realized I knew him and he realized the same, but there are moments when you know not to acknowledge such things, and this was definitely not the moment. It was simply an understanding between us. Surprisingly that moment would change my life forever and would be both a positive and negative experience for some time to come.

My name is Jade

All

I live. I learn. I love. I'm thankful that I am allowed to do them all.

Footing In Good

Do you not think that if I am pushed I will not move? Though my footing is grounded and planted in fertile soil, as with anything that brings non-unity, one must be moved. I look not for your push but for your stance. Your stance at my side to catch me if I fall. I look for your words to uplift me when my world is uncertain. I look for your nurture to keep me where I need keeping. If you are not there for these things, my place is darkened. If you are not there my light is dimmer. Don't you know that your presence feeds my soul? Don't you know that your smile freshens my air? Do you not know just how much you've become needed in my universe? Do you not know I pray for your rest? Do you know not that I will always stand in your battle, ready, willing and able to take on anything in an effort to build with you a new something? I place my foot where it is ordered and every foot print I leave behind takes me right back to you. Now, now it's time for those foot prints to walk along-side you.

Word To The Wise

Word to the wise, open your eyes and notice the purpose in front of you. Notice how protected you've been. Notice how you came out of nothing and made something. Notice that those situations that should have killed you, didn't. Notice that you keep being blessed in every way possible. Notice that all your needs are met, and many of your wants are too. Notice that the things you use to worry about are no longer a concern. Notice that your future is brighter than it's ever been. Notice that you are truly surrounded by love. Notice that the relationships you have now have are meaningful. Notice that the people around you are blessed. Notice that you live with such inspiration. Notice that your gift is aways being manifested. Notice that the little things mean more than a lot of the bigger things. Notice that you have so many options. Notice that whatever you choose ends in blessings. Notice that you stumbled but never hit the ground. Notice that when you are weak, you were carried. Notice that you wrote this without any hesitation. Word to wise, never, never forget these things and be glad and rejoice in all that He has done for you and continues too.

?

What else was I suppose to do or be? If you only knew the things I've seen.

Sun Shine Between My Blinds

Good morning sun shine as you squeeze between the blinds and dance upon my face. Good morning to the scent that you bring from morning dew. Good morning to the musical outside my window. Good morning and thank you for the applause given by the trees that sway in your winds. Good morning to thought of one day waking next to you daily. Good morning to the embrace that awaits me. Good morning to the smile that is forever painted in my thoughts that is so perfectly captured by the light of the day. Good morning to the fact that I've been allowed to all this beauty and for that I say GOOD MORNING!

Afraid

I love you and I ain't afraid to say it. I think about you and I ain't afraid to say it. I want you and I ain't afraid to say. I wonder what you're up too and I ain't afraid to say it. I ain't afraid...

Hi God

Hi God. Thank you for today and yesterday. Thank you for words that allow for expression. Thank you for giving thought to me. Thank you for the many angels that imcamp themselves around me to protect me from any hurt harm or danger. Thank you for not giving up on me, and continuing to feed into me. Thank you for favor over my life. Thank you for your presence in my life. Thank you for those that pray for me. Thank you for family, friends and those that you place in my life to serve a purpose. Thank you that you allow me to sometimes bring light into a situation. Thank you, thank you for forgiving me of my short comings and failures and teaching me to do better. Thank you for all that you do, not only for me, but for the countless others that you do for. Please allow anyone that is near me to experience you on a whole new level. I want them all to blessed in everything thing that they do. Please continue to mold, shape, guide and keep me near you and on the right path. Do not allow me to fall short of your glory. Redirect me unto you so that I may remain with you at all times. Strengthen me where I am weak! I need you like never before and thank you for being with me like never before. Thank you for your son who saves me daily. Thank you Father.

My Name is Jade

I remember it like it was yesterday. The first bag of weed I sold was in a park. I'd dove right in by buying my way in and off my name. While I'd been around drugs all my life, I hadn't tried any, nor had I sold any. My boy said, "aight, you up! He gone want the same thing everytime you see him", which was an ounce of weed. In my earlier days I always carried a pistol and that day was no exception. I must say I was nervous. I mean, I didn't know this dude from no where and I was about to get into a truck with him to conduct business. If there's one thing I knew about this business, it was that you can't trust no one! All kinds of thoughts were running through my head: Is this a setup? Is this nigga gone try to rob me? How much is an ounce again? How much change is he suppose to get? Yeah all kinds of thoughts. I was so consumed, it's amazing I didn't shoot the dude from nerves alone lol. All-in-all, the business went smooth and only took a few seconds. A few words, weed and money was exchanged and just like that, we were done and I'd made my first "profit", which was something like $50 in a few seconds. Now understand, my supply didn't come from your average supplier so my profits were better than my competitors. Yep, that's how my first pitstop went. I wonder if he remembers my name....Jade.

My Name is Jade

You ever look around the room and feel an advantage? Whether it's beauty, smarts, ability, charisma or wisdom you can sense an advantage. Maybe it's you or another person in the room, it's undeniable. I've found myself in all types of rooms with all types of personalities and there were many times where I felt that I had the advantage. It's probably because I'm an observer more than anything else. I just notice things that others tend to overlook. Tonight was different though; as I found myself separating thoughts and formulating a plan to work both sides of an idea.

As with most things, places and people, there's competition, but instead of competing why not combine the resources to a new never before done structure. I mean, why fight over something that seemingly is never going to run out. How do I remain in the "competition", but not really be competing? How can I get the people in the room to want my way without them realizing that I'm playing both sides...shoot, in fact, I'm playing all sides. This could certainly get me killed, but it could also give new meaning to power. Let's face it, people in this business don't last long without true power. So knowing that, I'd have to learn how and when to acquire it.

You have many "levels" of a "drug business" and each "organization" is ran differently, just as Coke-A-Cola is ran differently from Pepsi. Understanding that there are differences is important but understanding what the differences are is more important (at least from my standpoint). Everything from where a plant is harvested, grown and picked is important because it all starts there. From there, there's the "chemist" which does any necessary missing, cutting, adding etc. before it is ready for large scale packaging. With any package there's shipping and with any shipping there's a recipient and ultimately they are distributor. The one making the money in this is the owner of the "packaging" process. Think of it as a sweat shop; the first person touching the item is the one in the sweat shop and from there it grows, but the one in the middle is actually the one on top. They control everything and therefore they are the ones with power. They are known as "kartels". They have close ties to every level of the "business" and their reach goes a lot further than you may think. If you want to get to that level, you better be prepared for anything that WILL come your way and you better not flinch a muscle when you do. This is my story and my name is Jade.

Make of Heaven

Will you come look at this... This smooth chocolate, gorgeous angel that seemingly was sent by the heavens is here with me. Like how did I get so lucky to have her desires swing into my corner? How in a sea of plenty, all is calm in the midst of a storm? Her smile stops my concerns and her embrace speaks a foreign language thats only for my ear. Stories are told in the pit of her eyes that tell tales that not even her mind is prepared for. Come see how the storm doesn't even touch her and her beauty remains in place. I can't even look away from its pull. She'll always be this in my eye of this I am certain. This...this make of heaven.

Dance With Me

creep up next to me like smooth music and dance to this flow. Move right to my left and swig to my sway and be my swag that's like wow. woman touch me like the bass vibes in the corner that makes this motion flow like loving thats right and good. Not only expressed through words but unspoken outbursts of woo. Push up on this like I'm the 1! The 1 that after we twine you gone wanna tell somebody but you'll better not too. shake that curvature that keeps my poetic rhythm in sync. adjust my tempo to match that sway of your ocean as i dive in feet first, only coming up for brief breaths of life. Yeah, move that fiber of you as its nutrition is absorbed into me. feel our bodies stretch into new areas and let the sweat of your creams pour over me until we cum to the end of our motion.

Hey DJ, rewind that!

In Box

It's interesting that some of these post were written a long time ago and yet they flow with all the writings on here.... well duh it is the same author.

Ok so I am getting in boxed now, so here's what i'd like for you to do...if you have poems, send them to me and i will post it and give you all the credit.

No Title

Woman I will love you for the rest of my days. You have been a pleasure in everyway. In many of them, it has been a surprise. While I may not get the chance to have you in the capicity I'd like, I will delight in the measure we shared. You've taught me things along the way and I pray that they remain with me always. I'm not going to list the many things that light my face when thinking of you, but I will say that it was all of you that did and some of what you didn't.