What's the dif between love and infatuation?

Today I Saw

You are alright in my book! Always and forever! Still the God in you. Today I watched you move a little closer to me. I felt the warmth of your openness escape the cares. I looked and saw a new smile and I heard a new laughter. I looked and saw a radiant glow bouncing from you. I listened and I heard your thoughts. I’m just glad that today existed for me. I’ve waited so long for today and I pray tomorrow I get to continue to see the God in you Tiffany.

Woke up feeling......... Glad I woke up!!!

Phophet

2 Numbers 12:6, "And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream."

The true Prophet of the Lord will receive visions or dreams from the Lord

The Angel

So many times I’ve started typing this and erased it. Not because of disillusion or wavered thoughts, but rather I’ve expressed it so much that you may not believe the fact that I do. To me it is simple, yet it has been the most difficult journey I’ve ever had to make. To love without reciprocation is something I wish upon no man. How it must be to Christ whose love suffered all, yet even in His suffering He too is denied. I am by no means a comparison to Christ. It is that my eyes and heart have found a better understanding as to what it truly means to give of yourself without receiving in return. We never know the doors of which we will face, but I stand before each of them ready for whatever is in store behind them. If I could choose, I’d choose to have both of you in my arms, but sadly it is beyond my control. I love the both of you with all my heart and want nothing but the best for you. Well that’s it. This one is short and to the point, but just in case I lost you in it, all I’m trying to say is, Tiffany and Cheyenne I love you both!

My Name is Jade

I never wanted to be a boss, well sort of… I mean, I wanted people to know who I was in a way that they knew I was about business and someone you didn’t want to try and take advantage of, but I wanted that without the other things that come along with it; things like people knowing what kind of business I was the boss of. There is not a boss in this country, rather legit or not, that someone is not eying that man’s spot. Let’s face it, people are always willing to cut the man to take the man’s place. So how to you run things without ‘running’ things? Well unfortunately you kind of assign ‘fools’ to foolish assignments. When you are a shot caller there will always be someone willing to do foolish things to please you. It’s quite amazing when you think about it. Look, I’m not calling anyone foolish per say, but looking back on some things I’m dumbfounded at how willing people become when asked to do certain things.

I had the face and personality of the nice guy who was sincere and genuine. I was all of those things, but I just ran a different kind of business that was dangerous at times. I mean as I’ve stated, I’ve been shot and I’ve had many guns pulled on me. I should be dead, but that’s for another chapter coming later. I remember going to pick up some ‘work’ with a partner of mine and something told me to be on alert. I sort of blow the concern off because the person that we were going to see wasn’t anyone new, as we’d done business several times before. Only this time would prove to be different! We showed up with our usual amount of cash and asked for our usual ‘work’. Everything was going well, until our supplier made this comment which I’ll never forget because to this day I hate when someone asks this question and that is, “Is it all there, or do I need to count it?” Now you’re probably thinking, what’s the problem with that, but if you know me you know I wouldn’t short you on money and if I did I’d let you know in advance. So what in the hell would someone I’ve been ‘working’ with ask a question like that for? He didn’t know that that question would be the end of his ‘working’ relationship with me, but that was the last time he would be in a position to ask a question like that to me.

I knew that I needed to make some changes in the way ‘work’ was being conducted and the first change I needed to make was no longer seeking ‘work’ but I needed the ‘work’ to come to me. Now by this time, I’d been in the business for about 5 years or so and had made several connections with many people. Many of which I got work from. I looked at them as my boss’ or companies. While I wanted to have my own ‘company’, I didn’t necessarily want everything that came with it. Everyone one of my boss’ got to be boss’ because they had to go through many things to get there. Some of them had rap sheets 20 pages long. Some killed their way up. Some of them inherited their way up (if you can believe that). Now understand, I wasn’t afraid of jail but it wasn’t a place I was trying to get to like Miami or something and I knew that murder was a crime that does not have a statute of limitations so I wasn’t trying to go there unless absolutely needed. So what was I to do? I mean the time had come for me to get my own ‘company’. I had to start thinking like a boss. I mean, I carried myself like a boss already. The people I had around me followed my move and looked to me for answers and direction. Finally it hit me! The partner I took with me to make our pickup would need to do me a favor. It was a simple one though. All he had to do was trust me. I called him over to my house and told him that I wanted him to go make another pickup, but this time he was to go alone. Going to a pickup alone is never done. Of course he declined and after I told him what I wanted him to tell the ‘boss’, he damn near shit his pants. I told him that I wanted him to go to the ‘boss’ and make a pickup, and knowing that he’d be asked why he was alone, I told him to say, “You offended my man, and that’s a big no no”. Now you can imagine what must’ve been running through my partners head, but it was becoming my job to get him to buy into my plan. I knew the ‘boss’ would ask for a sit down, or at the very least come see me. I told my partner that he would have nothing to worry about because the ‘boss’ would be more interested in delivering a message back to me. I told him, he’ll be so pissed and ready to find me that he’ll send you back to me with a strong message. It took some coaching, but in-the-end he bought into my plan. Long story short, my plan went as expected and the ‘boss’ called a meeting with me. What I’d just done was extremely dangerous, so walking into this meeting; I truly had no idea if I’d be walking out of it, or carried out. Either way I was sticking to my plan. The plan was to………

This is my story and my name is Jade

The Challenge

Some of the greatest challenges are served at the moments you least expect. They are seconds that define you. They are the minutes that shape you. They are hours that build you. They are the days that leave an impression which lasts a lifetime. See those challenges as nothing more than living. Make the better decisions, that as you look back upon each moment you’ll know that you’d stand upon your foundation and know you’ve done a job well.

Faith Without Works

Without faith it is impossible to please to the Lord and it (faith) is something that we are to walk (move) in daily (always). It is also written that faith without works is dead. In other words you must trust in Him and trust in the directions He supplies. We must be actively seeking Him in all things that pertain to our lives. He has not given us sight for no reason, and that which He has given will have all its needs met through faith in knowing that He is control. We are not to sit under His order and not take action (move). We are to be builders of His kingdom through our works that have been assigned to us.

When we take a job, we know that there are directions that will need to be followed. We know that in order to keep that job we must do as expected even when sometimes we don’t agree with the directions being offered. Chances are the company that you work for has been in business awhile and knows what they’re doing. It is no different when it comes to His order over our lives. Do you not think that our creator knows what is best for us? He is the builder of all things and the creator of all life, so when He speaks a mandate over us, should we not listen!?!

The Final Bell

I know longer have a stake in this thing. I've gone to my corner to lick my wounds. I put in a good fight and hopefully I'll be judged fairly. I laid it all on the line in every round I fought. Sure my body is bruised and this has been an emotional strain, but blood in, blood out, I'd stand in that ring again. I don't need to stick around to hear what the announcement will be, because I'm already satisfied with the fact I came out of myself and pushed on, even when I didn't think I could. To my opponent, I have no comment, well maybe one, thank you. This is it, consider me retired!

If Ever

If ever there was a time, it would have to be now I'd think. I need you to use me as you've never done before. I need you because I'm losing need. Only you know what tomorrow will bring and I will not (try not too) worry about what is beyond my control, but I sorta need your clarity on some things. Thanks in advance Father

Deserving

Don’t be so blinded by the stars that you overlook the moon. All that is amongst you serves a purpose and many of which you know their intentions because you’ve heard or have seen them in the corners of your room. I call you room because you need it to grow and learn. Do not be so blinded by the beauty in ones words that you misplace their actions as ‘sweet’ nothings. All that you have witnessed defines your potential tomorrow. I call you room because it is there that you hear these things. Don’t be so blinded by the smiles that grace both you and their face that you twist the tears shed from the hurt bestowed unto you and make them forgotten pains. I call you room because it is there your knees bend in prayer. Don’t be so blinded in your quest to have that you miss the denial that has been mailed straight into your essence. I call you room because it is there that you find rest.

What I am trying to say is, find value in you, that you may know who you are and know all that you have to offer up. If anyone is not able to see your gifts as treasures then leave them in the sands as you sail away. You are deserving of both the stars and the moon!

Is It Foolish Too

It is foolish to chase after a taken heart. That is to say, unless you can sustain hurt, heartache, disappointment and confusion, I would recommend that no one undertake such a chase already being ran by another. However, we end up in places that often times are unexpected and must find ways to deal with the issues at hand. I learn new things every day and I learn quite a bit about love daily. I’ve learned what the world view of love is, but it has become fascinating to learn, or rather experience what love is from a Christ point of view. Sure we’ve heard what love is, it is kind, patient, love suffering and many other things that have been described in the book of Corinthians, but how many of us can truly say we have loved, or have been loved? I mean lets dissect this thing most of us are so passionate about for a moment. I don’t know, but in order to place love on a thing, you might have to be foolish in some things and open yourself up to being vulnerable to the things listed earlier. I ask can you truly be hurt if you do not care? Can you truly be confused, if your thoughts do not occupy that space? Love is free willed and is available to anyone that will accept it, but that also means love is given freely as well. So, what to do when you offer up love to something that is occupied by another’s love? Call me crazy, but it’s called foolish! However, and of course there is always an however… a space that is already occupied is incapable of another taking the same space. If I park my car on the street, there is no way another car can take the space my car is in until I move my car. The same can be said for the heart, if a heart is taken, there is no room for another…right? If so, wouldn’t that mean that the heart was never taken? Well, not necessarily. Because love has many forms and many meanings, it is capable of experiencing a portion of its power. I love analogies so I’ll try to give one now…. You ever go to the mall and look for a spot to park and see a car taking up two spaces, or one car parked in a space and another car overlaps that cars marked lines? Well that’s kind of how I’m viewing this love thing. Love has a balance and that balance prevents others from interrupting your space. In fact, when you are in balance others will not seek your space out, but rather find another to plant themselves in. I told you I’m learning this whole love thing and even as I write this, I’m learning. For those that are unbalanced and attracting the attention of others, even if it is attention that is not planned on being entertained, please know where your balance rest. Call me stupid, but the knowing of things gives you power to not be that fool, but rather it gives you the foresight to know where you stand in even given space. I may have gone around and about to answer the question asked at the beginning of this, but here is my answer, no it is not foolish to chase after a taken heart because it would be impossible to do so, because if that were taken, it would not be seen as a space to run in.

Purpose In All

There is nothing that happens by chance. Everything that has life is uniquely bound together and all supports that of another. Do not think that each moment does not dictate the next. It is that which is before us now that will reflect in the future of time spent. Life is intended to encourage us to know that there is purpose to our being. As trees have been given a task or assignment to spread life, so too are we set with such president. Our words are to be of life and how to experience it more abundantly. Understand that all that you are is not by chance, and is meant for good. Even in the error that may have been, there too can meaning be defined. Find the good in the errors and even the bad and I assure you that you will begin to find resolve in all things of life around you.

Relationship

Like broken glass, there laid the days of my hopes. They seemed to be starring back at me with little to say, yet the reflection became symbolic of the impossible feat before me. I couldn’t find once piece big enough to view the entirety and certainty that lay upon the floor. With every turn and cutting of the eye all I could see were shattered dazzling rays of light bouncing back at me. “What a mess”, I’d thought as I looked across the floor. Each piece, truly razor sharp, had once been bonded together to purposefully display all that was beautiful, was now jagged and dangerous. There were pieces spread out across the entire space. This glass was heavy and thick. It was meant to sustain moves, shifts and alterations to accent its charm. I’d stood in front of this piece several times and always walked away feeling confident, refreshed, ready and willing to face the days onslaughts. I’d gotten my readiness from the reflection which glanced back at me daily. The reflection was always ready. It knew that all that looked upon it was truly looking in the background and that the true beauty of hope, resided in forward vision on the other side of that glance. “What now?” I thought as I looked across the damaged disorder around me. I couldn’t help but think, “This will last?!?”, as I headed off to prepare to clean the mess up. “Where do I start? Should I pick up the big pieces first? Where am I going to put this without it causing other damage to something else?” So there I was gloves, socks and shoes cleaning up the broken pieces. I’d even put on a pair of protective glasses. I couldn’t help but think of all the times I’d paraded in front of this glass, barefoot, smiling and dancing with no cares. I remembered cleaning it by hand and now I found myself not wanting to touch it barehanded because I was afraid I’d be cut. As I swept the pile of glass into a mound, I shoved the dustpan underneath and scooped up the mountain of hope and threw it into the trash. After I’d finished cleaning up the broken pieces as best as I could, I mopped the space clean. I went over the entire area carefully as I knew that broken glass has a way of resting in places and it always finds a way to cut you. Once the floor was dry, I went into the space that was missing hope and felt an emptiness creep up beside me. Before I’d known it, a tear hit the corner of my shoe. It was then that realized just how much that piece of glass meant to me and I knew replacing it with another would not be the same. “Such as life. Such as life”, I uttered as I turned and walked away…

ok um bump all this lovely dovey postings shoot. I'm gonna take a break until i can come with some hard ish. lol...js.....

Shhhhhhhhh

I look into the presence of you and find comfort, yet it has to be pretended away. I find beauty in your eyes but I must keep expressions to a minimum. I rest in your closeness but brakes must be applied before reaching the bridge that leads to the other side. I look for ways to win you yet I must down play the measures I’d go to achieve victory. I am always urged to pull you close but I have to keep a certain distance. I have pet names that define your meaning to me yet I must deny the very things that define you to me. I want to pray with you but I must leave that to my quiet moments alone. I want to offer you all that I am but I must find complacency in the little that is accepted. I want to dream big with you yet I ask that those dreams not be given a night’s screen. I want to suit up in full knights’ armor to aid in all your victories but I must stay in the background. I see much in you yet I must stifle my vision. I see the value in you yet I must ignore its ‘cents’.

I’m not ashamed nor afraid to shine in your shadows, as I find comfort in all of you. Through stubbornness, impatience, coldness, bluntness, or hushed feelings I will move in your background until the moment I am called into the light of your desire. I am or shall I say I desire to be the wind at your back and under your feet that pushes you and carries you when those moments of need approach. Even as the ‘I love you’s’ fade from the drums of your ears, or the ‘baby’s’ cease to be spoken, they shall be whispered in the darkened corners of days. As beautiful as I think you are, as smart as I know you are, as kind as I know you are, as wise as I know you are, as all that is good as I know that is in you, as loving as I see you are, as alllll that I know that destiny has written over you I will always remain excited to spend moments with you. No matter what capacities those moments are shared, I’ll enjoy them because I find comfort in the presence of you and I see God in your eyes. I love you – shhhhhh…………….

Been in a writers block for a lil while now...wth!!!

Dark

In a rare place right now….shoot this isn’t rare, this is somewhere I’ve never been and frankly it’s scary shoot. Usually I can see the light and therefore know the turns up ahead, but this tunnel is completely dark! Man someone through me a flash light please. I’m feeling my way throw by letting my fingers glide along the walls but my footing feels loose.

As You Rest

As you rest next to me in peace, I smile at all the moments, conversations and thoughts that went into getting you here. I reflect on the times where hope was lost and I wonder just how far I could carry you and you I. I marvel at how much your smile delights me. I even wonder why your laughter injects stings of joy in my life. As you rest… I think of how much, how far I’d go/do to have you rest in this peace for good. There’s a saying that says you should be willing to climb a mountain of ‘No’s’ to get 1 yes and boy I have to say I’m still climbing that mountain, but with each ‘yes’ I find, I find more to be grateful of and I store it for safe keeping and lean on them as I swim upstream through all the no’s, never’s and no ways. As you rest I understand that the impossible is never that, instead there are no limitations on possibilities, only the ones you place on possible. As you sleep I can’t help but wonder what your dreams are. I can’t help but wonder if you’re happy. I can’t help but think of your beautiful smooth, chocolate brown skin. I smile even now at dimple that graces your smiles. As you sleep I reach over to kiss your ever so kissable lips (smiling even now). As much as God would allow, I would appreciate this gift that rests next to me for as long as I’m allowed too. As you rest in still peace with an occasional ‘jump’ I think of moments where the sun dances upon us as you walk next to me and lean on my dreams and allow them to carry us into the set of our sunset. I think of you and know that nothing prayed for is ever forgotten or unheard. As you rest, at this moment I don’t have you, but tomorrow is tomorrows minutes to claim and just as the second hand chases after the moments to come, I too shall continue the chase that moments give. As you rest I pray over you. As you rest I charged the angels charged over you to protect you and keep you safe always. As you rest I still find rhythm in the shared heartbeats between us. As you rest I too am comforted by peace. As you rest….

To Be Continued

Torn between two as you wrestle with the business of directional growth. Who am I to speak on matters of choices? From these lids I see the signs in the road that point to the arrival of your destination. I see it even through the detours. There is but so much one can be stretched before a braking occurs and often times the point in which it happens is not expected and can never be bound together again. I thought I already knew what I’m learning today, so this business of growth teaches in ways that can be painful at times, but the scars that are left behind are not meant to be forgotten. Life without expectation is not living, but living with it is heavens gift. Do not overlook the very things that stare at you, for they speak much to the things that concern you. Do not be foolish in your endeavors as they will devour your offering and cause blindness to your vision. Nothing is done without direction and we are given exactly what we need to reach the places we are to be. They are all around us. We can ignore them. We can pretend that “that didn’t happen”. We can turn away from ‘it’ because we have the freedom to do so. Being stifled by that which speaks so loudly will have its moment of blast. This one will not make much sense today or tomorrow but its words will be like gold soon. Every path that is yours has already been revealed in more ways than one and it continues to tug at you even now. To reach the check points, your vision needs forward progress.

To be continued when there is clarity to this…….

I See God In You

I heard this song called, “I see God in you” and I was reminded of you. I was reminded of the moment that I knew you’d be a meaningful portion of my days. I’ve wondered how fortunate I was to have come so close to something so heavenly. Faded concerns and thoughts lifted whenever I was in the presence of you. Each minute seemed to last an hour as I found peace in you. It seemed as though all of life’s creative beauty was surrounded in you. I had so many questions of such things. Is she taken? If so, is she happy? I wanted to know your thoughts, hopes, dreams, wishes and passions. Could I climax her into all that she is purposed for? You were one that I didn’t plan for. You escaped my past quest and left me raveled in the ‘um’ of life. Um, who is this woman that I see God in? God, I’d hoped that I was ready for her. I hoped that I could give her the world and that with every fiber of my being I’d be enough for her. There was just something about this woman that I’d never experienced. She was my unique mornings and the harmony in my nights. I wish you were still here, as I miss seeing God in you at this moment.

Hi God

God, only you know what is truly best, so I ask you to intervene in this situation. Only your hand has the ability to wave a new thing into existence. I'm asking that you move things and people where they need to be moved so that I don't miss what you have for me. I absolutely get in my own way at times, so I need your assistance to make sure that I don't any further. While you allow my own will in anything in my life, I kinda need your will over mine. As much as that's scary to ask for, I'm tired of doing it my way and could use a little fatherly guidance. Well that's all I wanted to say at the moment, so thanks for your time and good night.



Trying to do better, your son
Jamel

My Name is Jade

In this business you must have respect. Without it, any success will be limited to the next one willing to step into your shoes and establish what you failed to do. Some say respect is earned and some say respect is given until it needs to be taken away. I believe that respect is given to those that carry it with them. In other words, those that respect others carry with them a certain level of respect automatically. In this business you must also have the willingness to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. There is no room for hesitation in any way shape or form. The moment you fail to react or move on a ‘thing’ is the moment you lose your grip. There will always be someone waiting on you to slip so that they can pounce on the opportunity to take what you have. Now understand, respect goes hand-in-hand with comfort too. Meaning, you have to be confident to certain degree because it will elevate your level of respect with others. If they know that you are ‘willing’, which flows through your comfort, then respect will be risen, that is if the company you keep is not ‘stupid’.

I don’t have to say anything and I don’t have to be noticed. I walk into a situation and I swear it’s as if my alterego kicks in and takes over. I become the ‘solver’ and my ability to conduct business becomes extraordinary. In this capacity I can see people as they truly are. Whether it’s the ability one brings to the table, or the fear they suffer from, or their true intent, I can see whether or not I Will respect them or not. OK, so lets get into this particular story….

“This is Rick, Rick this is Jade”. 2-3 seconds is all it took for me to ‘size Rick up. Rick was the ‘local’ D-boy. He hustled everything from DVD’s, purses, weed and jewelry. Now, I’m no fool, I knew that there was money to be made in some of the hustles that he did so I was curious to know where his supply was coming from. Now I don’t know if you know this, but must people are not willing to put you on to their supplier because you’d be taking away from their business to some degree. That said, I didn’t care. My goal was to get the information I needed, because there was profit to be made. Now I want you to think for a second…think about the last time someone tried to sell you something on the ‘street’; say a nice purse for you or your girl, or that new movie that is still playing in the theater. Was that person loud and excited? Yeah I thought so. What’s with that anyway? Trust me, Rick was no different. I mean this dude just met me and started telling me about himself and what he has and what he can do. Um, dude I don’t give a shit! Oh course out of ‘respect’ for my people and him to some degree, I didn’t actually say that. Instead I let him talk and talk about his life lol. Ok sidebar: The fake Chanels, LV’s, Coach bags, etc. is a multi-billion dollar industry and the same goes for DVD’s, so go ahead Rick…Talk, talk, talk. I figured that anyone that talked that much would not be able to not give me the information I wanted because they can’t help themselves. “Rick, you got something to drink? Juice, soda or water?” Of course he had something to drink, even if it was water. As Rick is headed toward the kitchen, I get up and follow him. As we walked, I asked him questions about various things he had in the house. I noticed a mason jar in the hallway and made small talk about it. I even mentioned how I liked the color on the walls. Now, you have to know that I didn’t give a rats ass about anything in this place, well except the information I needed from Rick. As you could imagine, he was excited that someone took interest in his life/house, so he ended up showing me the entire house. That included his basement which housed his many money making projects. “Jade, hold on my dude. I have to show you this!” He opens this door in the basement and it’s filled with all kinds of merchandise. If you can think of anything in Macy’s, Rick had it in his basement. It was truly impressive. Truly! Um, so I can’t help but wonder if you’re following me and my mind right now. What am I thinking? “Bingo! I got him comfortable. Now its time to get what I came for. A contact!” I’m like, wow Rick, how in the hell did you get all this shit? Of course Rick says, “Man, my homeboy gets me whatever I need. I can turn him on to you if you’d like”. Just like that, a new contact was made. Now I want you to understand that this sort of thing does not happen by chance. There’s a song and dance that is played and one false move will have your ass broken! While Rick did well at his hustles, the person on the next level has to be doing better and you better believe that that person didn’t get to that level by chance and you’d better know the cards you’re playing with or you will get hurt. Rick found a comfort in me, because I made him feel comfortable by respecting him. No I didn’t respect his mouth, but none-the-less I respected his hustle and his home. By the time Rick hooked me up with his man, I’d stacked up some paper to come in not on Rick’s level but on the wholesale level which would effectively have Rick working for me. This is a game people and there are many levels to it. This is my story and my name is Jade! Respect

Yeah

Damn, simply put you are a delight!!!!

Gravity Didn't Win

Get up, dust yourself off and continue your march into destiny. She carries the keys to all things that are to be unlocked at the presence of you. With your head held high and pointed towards the skies, see the purpose in that which you’ve suffered through. Breathe in this fresh opportunity that rushes in under you that keeps you moving ahead. The path is lite and it’s your guide into life’s promises. Those bended knees that made their way before the alter of the most high were not bent in vain. Those words never found their way to gravity, but they rose with perfection and was delivered with all its beauty and meaning.

If I Could

If I could have kissed you I would have. If I stayed the night I would have. If I could have held your hand as we walked I would have. If I could have hugged you at a certain point I would have. If I could have told you I still love you I would have. If I could’ve kept talking to you until sunrise I would have. If I could relive this night I would. If I could change anything about that night, I would NOT have. I simply enjoyed it just as it was.

Phases of You

Phases of you will leave the meek, bewildered. There are layers to your fundamentals that require patience, energy and will. Your laughter carries many formalities that introduce you to the making of you. Phases of you may leave some confused and lost in your tunnels, but the road to which you see is paved to perfection. Unmoved by your surroundings and situations, you remain steadfast in the places you find rest in. The ‘usual’ doesn’t really move you but the simplest of those captures the thoughts that even your imagination struggles to wrap itself around. Can’t tell you how long each phase of you will take to unravel but know that with each revealed layer a fresh warm spring awaits those that drink from it. Phases of you are silent when in thought and should not be bothered, but not fully left alone. The silence to which you find yourself in this phase leaves no room for opinion, but provided comfort that it too is peace in knowing that this silence speaks many things and if you listen to the emptied sounds of your space you’d discover much is wrestled with. It is not a fight that is meant for challenges to enter into, but it is ring that needs to be kept all to you for the moment. This too shall pass and clarity will ring with the coming bell. Phases of you are strong! So much weight carried on your shoulders, it would not be wise to toss another thing upon them. Instead reach up and try to take some of it away, even if it means taking those very hands that are reaching – away. So many phases of you leave no room to settle on one to focus on because all of them are intertwined and they all make up the fabric of you. To focus on one thing would not be wise, as one would have to step back to get the full view of you. Phases of you leave you carefree and ready to stand in what the world has to throw at you. Some pitches that have crossed your plate have taught you lessons that added to your strength and to others it may seem like a hardened home, but your home plate is soft, free and easy. Though this phase is rarely reached, it is worth each bases pain, frustration and effort to reach it. It is here that you open up without limit. It is here where you keep the very essence of you stored up. This is home base and making it here takes time and many other things that the meek and bewildered would only falter in their efforts. Phases of you are tearful, held back because sometimes it’s easier simply to do so. Sadness to know that hurt ties you in places that you so don’t want to be, and to feel the hurt of others upset you deeply, but even that layer has a protection within itself and kicks in as needed. Unique to the world are the phases of you and anything that is unique is truly valuable and worth seeking and keeping. I toast to the next phase of you that I encounter, as I am sure it will be something to witness.I think I even have a name for it - Future :)

My Name is Jade

1 foot in, 1 foot out. You are never completely out the game because you notice ‘things’ that others simply don’t. I know my surroundings no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I notice the dude standing in the corner alone and the old man that’s running ‘the show’. I notice the cat who’s holding and the nigga that you simply don’t want to fuck with. I know who I can call if I ever need ANYTHING! I know who I have to be careful who I tell my issues too because certain people will not hesitate to act on my behalf without me giving an ‘OK’. If I need to get my foot back in this 100% I know who to call. I know that getting fronted anything will never be a problem. How simple it would be to move with blinders on but that is just not me. I am who I am because of the footprints I left behind. I come and go as I please and ain’t shit anyone can say or do without consequences. 1 foot in, and foot out!

I’ve been shot at several times (shot once). I’ve been chased a few times. I’ve been threatened twice (real threats). I’ve been in my fair share of fights and I’ve only started 1 and it’s the only one I lost (in my opinion). I’ve popped at enough people that fear is not a part of me. I’ve stolen enough to make the local and national news. I’ve banged with Vice Lords and Black Gangsters (Probably for life). I’ve around some shit in my life and these eyes have seen much. Man when I think about all I’ve done and seen, I gotta say I’m blessed to be here. Here’s another day in my shoes…

These fools done gone and gave me a supervisor job with a credit card and ordering ability. With no in location superior, I did as I pleased working there. They even gave me the key to the camera room (smh) and access to the building 24/7. I’ve always lived right there on the edge, so it was just a matter of time before I began to test that edge. One night while working I called my girl and told her to come to the building and plan on staying the night, as I planned to work overnight that particular night. She showed up about 9:30pm and I had her hide in a conference room until closing time, which was 10pm. Once she was hidden, I went about my way, acting like I was hard at work. Normally everyone would be gone by 10:30pm, but for some reason people weren’t moving as fast as they would on any other day, so I went to let my girl know that it would be a little longer than normal, but to my surprise, when I turned the corner leading to the conference room I saw a group of employees standing around the door. Some were just standing there and some were coming in-and-out. OMG!!!! I figured that they found her hiding and trouble was sure to follow. You will never see me in a panic mode and this would be a time where panic was definitely not the time to do so, so instead of rushing in there to check on her, I waited patiently for all the commotion to dissipate. In the meantime the brain kicked in and I knew that I had to eliminate any evidence that could come out of whatever would happen. BINGO – I have the key to the camera room, so I headed there to turn off all the cameras in the entire building. I figured if I needed to go back and erase the footage prior to that, it wouldn’t be a problem. Once that was done I walked the inside and outside of the building counting the cameras that would’ve picked her up walking into the building and the conference room just to make sure I had every possibility covered. I even checked the schedules to see who worked the hours that she came in, just in case I needed to handle that. After doing those things it was time to check on her, so I walked into the conference room. By now, everyone was gone, including her! The place I had her hide in was empty so the “oh shit” feeling hit me like a ton of bricks, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw movement and it was her coming out of another closet. She was sweating bullets! I said, “OMG, they didn’t find you!?!” She said she heard someone coming down the hall and could hear the keys that they were carrying and figured that she needed to find another hiding spot. Good thing too because she would’ve been caught red handed. We laughed about that entire thing and to this day I never knew why a meeting was held that night but I’m glad my girl wasn’t stupid and knew she needed to move. That night we turned the building into our playground. Everything was accessible – clothes, toys, bikes, food, cameras, radio’s, etc. We did a little of everything in that building that night. I wasn’t in the game yet, but it was a precursor to what was to come, because the ability to see things in great detail was imbedded and it would come in handy later. The lesson learned that night was always cover your tracks. Listen, this is my story and my name is Jade!

My Name is Jade

I wonder what you’d do if you found a kilo of cocaine in the street. No police, no witnesses, just free coke! Would you even know it was coke? Would know who to call? I certainly hope you wouldn’t call the police, because trust me, they will look at you like the dumbest asshole on the planet and arrest your ass. Chances are you know someone that you could call, to help you out or at the very least tell you what to do with it. That’s the thing about dope, everyone knows someone that’s affiliated with it. Rather they use it, sell or know others, dope moves at a very fast paste. Doesn’t matter if its weed, X, H, special K or any type of coke you can think of, they all move fast. So what would you do if you found a key of coke? I should probably say a bag of coke because I’ll assume you wouldn’t know you’re looking at a kilo of cocaine. Would you know that it would be the equivalent of finding 20k or better? I don’t know, sometimes I sit and think about all the money that run through hands like water. I can hear you saying, “Shoot, do you know what I could do with 20k?” Chances are you’d blow it in a matter of weeks or a couple of months. That’s the thing about money; it comes and goes just as fast as it came. I ponder how many things and people have come and gone just as soon as they came and I am amazed at how much life I’ve lived. I’ve learned that nothing is certain and most things don’t last, especially without a deep foundation. My name is Jade and no, I’ve never found a kilo of coke in the street or anywhere else for that matter and I’m sure I never will.

Did I Matter B4 Death

Like footprints in the sand are hopes erased as the tide rolls in. Will this too pass away without meaning? Will the existence that once graced this place be remembered or forgotten with tomorrow’s sunrise? These labored hands that wanted so much are no longer raised to carry burdens. This body that was once loaned, no longer finds presence in today’s present. No longer here, but have the many breathes that were taken count for anything? Like the pages of a dictionary, were the days borrowed defined as purposeful? Was well done a thought to any? No longer around to capture the moments of laughter, those moments of eternity has passed away. Is the sound missed? Has the silence become deafening to the missed moments that no longer exist? Did I matter? I hope I mattered.

Exactly

Read an interesting story today and if you know me, you know technology is not my strong suit. Apparently there's a way for ppl to get into your phone by using an app. The article didn't say the name of the app but it exist. This is something I'm sure has been on a soap opera or the hallmark channel, so some of you won't be surprised. This hit me because I've had a stalker myself, and I wouldn't be surprised if she would've done this. Anywho, a relationship apparently ended and the guy moved on, but the female he'd been seeing 'didn't move on' and made his next relationship a living hell!!! She sent nude pics of the guy to her family members and blamed him for sending them?!?!?! How, I don't know but damn! Apparently some of her family members liked the pics and never said anything to her. It didn't say if they'd hooked up or not but again, how in the hell do you send pics to a phone and have it look like it came from another phone!!??? There was a string of messages too, all the while the guy never knew anything about it. I know, I know you're thinking there's no wayyyyy but I'm only telling you what I read and saw on the news. Apparently if you leave pics on your phone or upload them to any cloud, they can and will be grabbed and used. As for me, I wouldn't care if my pics were taken, but damn it mannnnn. So long story short, feel free to send female pics to the cloud and maybe they'll rain down to my phone. Lil P.S she should've been charged but I don't think that she was. http://www.collegetimes.com/college-life/new-app-lets-hack-partners-phone-88464

Living Beyond Restraints

Living within regrets is like living with restraints. I strive to never rest in the confines of such places that leave one bogged down with past regrets over life decisions that have been made, yet sometimes I feel the joke has been played on me and the foolish decisions that led up to any given circumstance is mine to own solely. Tomorrow has it cares of its own, so the grabbling of today’s issues or concerns has left me in a state of aw. To live fully, I believe you must be open to possibility without limit, and yet in doing so you open yourself up to many things, one of them being hurt. Yet do I recommend you run from the possibility of being hurt? No, I say run full speed ahead into all that life has to show and/or offer you and leave no room for regrets. While it may at times leave you feeling foolish, it is those foolish experiences that make you stronger and wiser. It is my belief that with anything you hold back from, will only lead to uncertainty in other areas that may/will present themselves at a later time. I am able to find peace in knowing that I go for what I want, but yes I play the fool along the way, and it is that that inspires this writing tonight. How do you give your all to something, only to end as the fool? How can you believe in something so strongly, that in the end you find that it was foolish to do so? Am I a fool for standing in the gap and waiting for my dance to be had? I believe that I would have been the real fool if I wasn’t willing to try something that I believe in so strongly, and walked away from it before it began, thereby leaving room for regret to cycle through life’s process. There are defining moments in life and the willingness to stand in the gap of hope is something that can never be demarcated as foolish, but rather it should be defined as living; so too that, I will continue living without the restraints of regret.

GMA

You…you were pleasure. You were kind. You were giving. You always put others first, even when I wanted you put yourself first. You would always try to clean, even as I was taking the rag out of your hands. You’d bake my favorite cake, just because you knew I was coming. You loved me as I was your own. Even as life interrupted the time we’d share, you still let me know you’d always be my gma. So often we miss opportunities that were sent from heaven, but I’m glad that this one wasn’t missed. Gma you been called a true saint and that’s all I knew you to be. I watched you with Gpa all those years and admired your dedication to all things. Gpa ain’t the same without you. I can hear him calling your name as he always did…..’Flo Bell’….he’d call you but didn’t want anything but to know that you were there. I’m sure he’s calling you now, so Holy Spirit please give him comfort that he needs. Gosh Gma, you were peace. I can’t help but erase the tears with smiles as I think of you…while I may shed some, most are tears of joy that I knew you.

I Wonder

Dear you,
I wonder so much through the thought of you. I wonder the potential of a you and I and I wonder if there truly is a potential of a you and I. I wonder why I wonder such things because I believe there is potential in all things. I wonder if I’m right about you, but more important I wonder if I’m right for you. Even as I know I’d live the fullest life I could reach for with you, I wonder if it’ll be enough to sustain your all. Funny thing is, that even as I write this that wonder fades. I wonder how such things could be so easily obtained through a you and I, but just as I type that, the wonder is taken and replaced with a resounding ‘you are deserving’. I wonder if the ‘be careful what you ask for, because you may get it’, will happen, but then again I wonder why I wonder that because I want what I’ve asked for. I wonder if you know what I’ve asked for, but then again I believe you know because you see her in the mirror daily. I wonder what your tomorrow will be like; will you enjoy every moment, or will you be lost in translation of your new realization. I wonder if I’d be enough for you, but if you are what I pray for, you’d have to be, but I wonder if I’ll be the dream of what you’d want to hold on too for a lifetime. I wonder what it is that I see in you that have become my magnet. I wonder why I never walked away from you. I wonder how your smile lightens my thoughts. I wonder that what God would show you if you prayed about certain things. I wonder how God will give me exactly what I’ll need to preserve you. I wonder if you’ll truly love me for who I am, at every moment that lay ahead. I wonder if you get me. I wonder if you know how much I enjoy ‘getting’ you. I wonder how you’ve taught me things without actually speaking. I wonder why you’re in the package that you’ve come in. I wonder if you could nurture me the way I need, but I already know you carry that ability. I wonder how long you’ll hold back before letting go and give freely. I wonder if you’ll enjoy the giving that you give me. I wonder how long this letter could be if I keep wondering, so instead I’ll leave my worries at the door and enjoy every moment I spend with you. You ready?

You Can't

You can’t have the stars without first experiencing space. You can’t have rest without first taking time. You can’t have peace without living first. You can’t have vision without first having purpose. You can’t have love without first giving it. You can’t have dreams without first having hope. You can’t hear without listening first. You can’t have desire without knowing your needs. You can’t lead without having followed. You can’t reach the clouds without being grounded. You can’t breathe without life. You have no limitations except those you place upon yourself. Everything in contact with you serves a purpose!

Breathing Fire

How to love is like breathing fire. Love provides lessons even when you don’t show up for class. You don’t need a list of supplies at the beginning because you carry all the materials you’ll ever need, internally. You’ll encounter those that will pour into you, but guard your highest valued asset as if it were the world’s largest diamond. There will be attempts to break in and steal your heart, but learn to see them for who they are and what they represent. Treasure your love, because it is unique and ambiguous to those that do not seek to understand your making. Love is the air you inhale that passes through your lungs and gives new life. Love is not sought out but it is stumbled upon. It is a discovery in places that you hadn’t looked. Mirrored reflections of you stare back at you as you stand in the presence of space that is all yours. As you stand there, look deeper into you. Notice the deepness to which your shores have no limits. Watch the curves of your frame move along a symphony of waves. Look as your eyes tell a poets story of passion. See the treasure that you contain deep inside you and know that you are more than your outward beauty. Yes, that is beauty that you see gazing back at you and it’s blazing with much verve. It takes the earth’s hottest fires and pressures to form what you carry, and that diamond that is all yours, is yours to show and share only to those deserving of its attendance. Class is in session for those that seek you, so they need to know that all it took to make you is the same it takes to ‘see’ you.

Artist/Writer

What defines a good artist/writer is not the delivery of words but the authenticity to which those words are offered. Well at least that’s my opinion.

Package

If there is one thing that I’ve learned, it is that love rarely comes in the form that we imagine it to be. It can truly be surprising the package that it may come in. I have also learned that when you end bias’ on love, it knocks at your door in the form that it was always meant to be in. I’ve posed visuals to myself and laid expectations before me and turned away from things that didn’t meet what I perceived to be the package that was meant for me. I have failed and failed miserably. I was built by my manufacturer and being that I have a direct line of communication with my architect, all I needed to do was ask for a package that would add to me. I had to ask for a package that would add too me and I to it. I needed to seek the manufacturer first and since doing so you should see the form it has come in.

Discovering a Fairytale

Excuse me but I don’t think that you know who I am, so here let me tell you. I am a black man and that means I’m strong, patient, determined, able and willing. It means I can suffer much and still get back up. It means that I am capable. It means that I am smart. It means that I have no limits. It means that I am royalty. It means that I am worth obtaining and keeping. It means that I am a giver. It means that I am a teacher. It means that I am father to many things. It means that I your mate but beyond that I am your King and you are my queen. It means I am power. It means that I need you. It means that I am love. It means that I am fertilizer to earth. Past being a black man I am trying to show you that I will always get back up when I fall. I will always show you how much you mean to me. I will always build you up and show you who I see you to be and work hard to make sure those things are made reality. I am encouraged daily to see life as it is; brilliant. I am willing to sacrifice much just to get to where I believe I need to be. I am fun but fun in new, fresh and different ways. I am the different air as my lungs have the breath of my Heavenly Fathers touch. I am faithful to what I believe. I face my struggles head on. I am bold because I walk with authority from my manufacturer. I am always encouraged at today’s possibilities. I can overcome any obstacle in my path. I am valuable and purposed to be displayed as something worth acquiring. I am so much more than you apparently think that I am. That’s ok though, because I am also a wisher and one day I wish you look at yourself and see who I see and understand exactly what I am saying. So for now, I close my eyes and imagine the fairytale of discovering who you are because it is then that you will see me as I am.

Hurt

Hurt – Hurt runs deep and cuts in places you thought were safe and secure. It reaches the deepest darkest places that light have never touched. It is meant to leave scars and pain but I so want you to know that even the deepest hurt doesn’t have to leave you scarred. While it may be easier said than done, leaving pain right where it needs to be left is something that is not only needed for you but it needs to be left there so that the person inflicting the pain doesn’t win. Claiming victory and healing over a situation gives you power and starts the healing process. To carry pain is to carry prevention and when you are preventing anything due to something that has harmed you can lead to prevented true joy, happiness and peace. Neither I nor anyone is too good to have hurt try to attack us but it is how we recover that defines us and molds us into who we are to become. Leaving hurt in the dark place that it was injected takes courage and courage is the air that you should breathe. I’m encouraged to know that joy still lives and dwells in the corners of pain and that my desire for such joy be passed along to everyone, even those that would cause pain. If you are human, chances are you’ve caused pain to someone else and even to someone you care about. You’ve left your stone and the feet of that person, but I want you to know that the stone does not have to become who you can be. Sometimes hurt is given out of love for someone but that delivery may not mirror those intentions (that’s for another post). To those that own the stones at the feet of others, I encourage you to go back and pick up those rocks and ask for forgiveness and move on. Do not remain in the imprint left by the weight of your stone as it is designed to keep you held captive under its shadow. You are not the shadow but you are the light and you whose foot the stone rest upon, it’s over now. Kick that rock to the curb and move on. There is no need to look back at the damage it caused, instead focus on your clear skies and live in the brightness ahead of you. Forgive those that trespass against you, because your freedom rest in it. Understand that when hurt is imposed, there is never only one that suffers, so healing is not accomplished alone but rather it is when both come to an understanding that love, peace and joy should follow each all the days of one another’s life. Peace to you!

Write It

Write it: Closed minds and ignoring ears will always lead to loss. Do you not know that lessons taught need not fall upon ignorance? If it were laid out before you with detailed instructions, would you intentionally step over them to do you? Look, a path is designed to be followed but as with any path there is an option to deviate from the path. Discoveries are often found when a different path is chosen but the path that was paved for you were uniquely built for you and therefore it contains no hidden pitfalls and would supply all your needs. It is the challenge that we face to remain on the path that chases our mind. I pretend not that the path is easy and that there will be no distractions along the way but understanding that the path to which you are on directs you to destiny. Just what is destiny? It is what you know to be yours and real. It is what you’ve seen. It is what you feel. It is what you make of it and it is what you think of it. The path of which you step was made of soil just for your soul. Stay on it!

My Name is Jade

Faded in the distance I could feel the slipping grip of hope losing out to circumstance. Something was different this time though. I’d lost many things in my short life’s span.
She entered into my time with subtlety and brought with her pleasure, laughter and returned happiness, and seemingly the race was over as she entered with much to offer. While there was much to offer there was much to lose as well and obstacles to which was a concern. You see, she was taken by another, not through marriage but none-the-less, she was taken. I don’t know what my intentions were when she caught my eye but I knew she was someone that I would definitely like to get to know. I was set on discovering who she was and what made her tick. I did everything I could think of to get her attention but truly nothing worked. Without going into subsequent detail of the many passed days that I failed to get her to notice me, finally my moment would come one warm winter day. There I was with open space to walk up to her and ask her whatever, but true to experience she was busy but I was ready to wait for a moment of opportunity. Finally my moment was due, but just as soon as it presented itself, it was taken away as she was rushed back to previous obligations. However along her path, there I sat and as she passed an acknowledged look of ‘I see you’ penetrated her mind. While the moment passed for me I figured it was just another missed opportunity to get her to see me. As usual I would be wrong, as later that night through email she would send me an invite to come see her play ball Friday. Finally a window had opened and I was determined to climb through it.

06/15/11

Who am I to say what I deserve? Sure I’m like anyone else out here, I want comfort, peace, abundance, family, prosperity and many other things. I cannot spend any time worrying about what I’ve lost and what I may not have because the abundance of what I do actually have far outweighs the things that I don’t have. In other words I am truly starting to believe that joy is creeping into my life. It seems that no matter what I face, I remain at peace. Right now, at this very moment I’m all smiles…. Thank You!

Poker

Poker players take note: the pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.


Um, add tongue movement and/or lip sucking to it and you pretty much got someone ready to burst.

Grey Hound

Drop me off at the nearest bus stop. Let me place one foot in front of the other and climb aboard the future. Give me a window seat so that I may view the passing lanes left behind. Take the scenic country route so that it's calm may pass through me. I want to forget what's being left behind and marvel in today's views. Give me a nice sunshine start to this trip. Do not give me the direction that I'm headed in but rather make my destination the last stop of the journey. Let my feet be planted in new fertile soil that forever my seed may flourish.

No Where to Hide

There’s nowhere to hide when love calls your name. My man Kem says it best and hits the nail on the head. Music is tunnel to elastic passions that span miles across this land. It is something shared between cultures and understood through all genres. The tempo of soft tunes has the ability to uplift and calm even the roughest shores of our lives. With each passing beat a care is removed. You can lose your fears in the midst of its smooth erythematic staffs. Fall deep in the unseen waves that sweep across your ears as they strum through all that connects you to it. Let love speak through all that it brings to you.

Turn and Walk

Turn and walk away. End the desolated faint remembrance of this thing. Do not think of the missed purpose that may have been. Meet the hour that you choose head on as this comes to a conclusion. There is nothing left here for us to do but to take our hand off the pause button and let tomorrow play out with new imaginations. Cast away your concerns and unspoken questions and live in the new seconds of each passing minute. Stand in your presence and try to speak life into a dying energy that has already been replaced by new hopes. Walk away from yesterday’s smiles. Walk away from days gone by lost to the new moments of delight. No more cloudy days that block visions of happiness as the storm has passed. Turn a new page in this ever-changing story of life. Discover its wonderful past, present and future and unwrap each slowly and not forget that yours are uniquely designed just for you. Turn and walk away with a sway unlike any other. –Oh you sassy huh!

My Name is Jade

You ever wonder why no one in this ‘business’ seems to have or go by a real name? I mean think about it, throughout history the most popular gangsters were never called by their birth names. People like Scarface, Bugsy, Hit-man, Lucky and several in the hood carry other names that I’m sure you’ve heard of. Here are a few that comes to mind, Black, Boo, Baby, Murder, King, Jay, D.J and several other names that can always be heard in any hood. So why is it that the nickname becomes the new name for the individual? I mean most nicknames are assigned, meaning they are given to an individual by someone else. I remember receiving one of my nicknames after committing an act of what I like to call ‘understanding’. I don’t remember how old I was but I was definitely under 15.

My parents had 2 cars and one was usually accessible during the hours of 8-5. I know what you’re thinking and all I can say is, can you blame me? I knew where the keys were and my brothers would never tell on me, so joy riding is what I did best! Sorry kids, you can’t do this type of crap now, because as much as gas cost, trust me your parents will know. For the most part, every day after school me and my friends would hop in the car and go for joy rides throughout the neighborhood. Shoot we even went through some areas that we had no business rolling through. OMG, what if the car had gotten shot up. I mean we were kids, and we had nothing better to do. We never worried about the police because the only time you’d see a cop was during a home raid or something. They simply did not come to our hood. One particular day, after returning the car to my garage we sat in the car listening to the radio. I was revving the engine like an Indy Stock car driver or something. There we were, all 5 of us having a blast with me at the wheel bumping NWA. I decided to up the fun and put the car into drive and play with the gas and break pedal to make the car jump as if it had hydraulics. I’m not sure if my foot slipped or what but next thing I knew the car hit the garage. All you could hear was the sound of 3 car doors shutting and Nike to pavement. I slowly backed the car back into its proper spot and got out to see that there was no way I would be able to fix the damage. Seeing the ass whipping that lay ahead, I tracked down each friend that was in the car and told each of them that if they said anything to anyone, I’d burn their house down! Now they knew me. I mean they grew up with me and knew that they really couldn’t put it past me. The only part that I hadn’t calculated was my brother. I didn’t factor in the fact that my parents would blame him and that he would find out what truly happened and confront the people that were in the car and demand that they speak up. Either way, I didn’t care. I didn’t care if my brother threatened to beat their ass, it was better to take that then lose your house. Oh I was dead ass serious. So when I found out that Tyrone was about to snitch, I went to his house that night with matches and a bottle of alcohol. I was about to climb underneath his home and do my thing when Anthony (next door neighbor and my brothers friend) called my name. He said, “Boy what the hell are you doing?” Of course word travels fast in the hood so he knew what I was up too and thankfully talked me out of it. I remember him saying, “dang nigga you like a Jade. Cross yo ass and there will be hell to pay”. With that my name was born, Jade.

Tyrone never knew how close he came to having his house set a blaze and he never snitched because my brother got to me and made me tell my parents what truly happened. We laugh about it to this day, as I never got in trouble for it. All they said was, “you could’ve been hurt and don’t do it again”. Man my brother was pissed because he’d gotten his ass whipped over it lol. You have to remember I was youngest which means I always got away with things that my brothers would’ve been killed for.

Boarders

Boarders without limits are what I seek. Boarders come with limitations and limitations leads to the inability to exist freely within the confines of who you are. To come and go as you see fit, abandoned not by what someone else allows for is called a will. Your will is made just for you and when it is bended to will the will of another, then you will reach the termination of your control. While it is ok to die to one’s self, it is never ok to allow death to transform you into something that does not like to exist as you see fit. Free is boarder- less, and is permitted to breathe in all the advantages of such a state. I want to live in a boarder-less-state-of-mind.

Chances

Excuse me, but close your eyes woman. Stop your worrying and let go your cares. Give me your hands and walk with me a while. I got you. I’ll keep you nice and warm. Let go of your all and rest right here. I’ll keep your cares protected. Tell me your secrets and I’ll share 10 of mine. You’re in my heart and I’m trying to get you to stay for a while baby. I don’t care what challenges that may lie ahead, because I know that together we can face them with determination to overcome what may. Lay it hear baby. Put it all on the line as I’m on bended knee asking that you be mine. Lets make this interlude last a while longer. If you’re worried about regrets I’ll not rest until they escape you. By the time this is done you’ll know the “you” and “I” will never be done. Girl I’m the glove to your hand. So bring that smile to me today because I need it more and more with each passing day. The future is defined as: Time that is to be or come hereafter. Something that will exist or happen in time to come: The future is rooted in the past. My past yesterdays are hopefully tied to your tomorrows and starts with today baby. While your eyes are closed, please imagine the’ what if’ good parts and let go of your worries. Chance is defined as: the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted, understood, or controlled: Often personified or treated as a positive agency. Take a chance on me baby and I’ll spend the rest of my days making sure that it spends no moments in regret. Now open your eyes and see me wanting and needing you baby. Yeah, I’m talking to YOU! Called out again!

My Name is Jade

Twin engine, Cessna or jet engine, four seat plane. Oh the four seats includes the pilot and optional co-pilot. Yeah, optional can be used when it comes to piloting a plane. In fact, the plane itself can fly by itself. How many times have you heard that a “twin engine” airplane has crashed? If you’re like me, you’ve heard that several times, but that didn’t stop me from jumping my butt into one of the 4 seats in the plane. Thinking about it now, I’m like wow the freaking pilot was right in front me. No cockpit door or nothing to separate us lol. All those buttons and radar equipment all lit up. So there I was about to fly out to Alabama with 3 guys I just met, 2 of which I just met a few hours ago. With Brian as the pilot, my life was literally put into his hands. We all had headphones on to communicate with one another. We could hear the airport tower people giving instructions and clearance to take off. Ok so this part may be a little jumpy as it was a little exciting I’ll admit. Let’s go back an hour or so. September 11, 2001 was the day that 2 planes crashed into the world trade center, and that changed how we secured our airports and other transportation spots. Ok, now picture this if you will: Post 9/11, you have 4 black men pulling up into the parking lot of an airport around 8pm on a weekday carrying no luggage. We walk in and through the airport right onto the tarmac. Wait, wait, Brian does stop at the desk to give his credentials, but as for the rest of us, nothing was given or shown. We walked outside where Brian led us to the plane we were about to take out. While waiting we see Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton waiting on their plane as well. We engaged in a conversation that will more than likely be in another chapter of this story. I will add this part though; I worked with both Rev.’s previous to this, as I was an active member of the SCLC (shout out to Ms. Brenda). So off we were headed to Alabama just to go, well something like that. It was more of a test run to show me just how easy flying back and forth could be without being tracked and or noticed. We landed in Alabama approximately an hour or so later and was met with keys and a car for the evening. We didn’t really have plans so we just went to dinner and somehow the dinner turned into an after party. Once the waitress heard that Brian was a pilot it was a wrap. She called her friends and we all had a good time and no that will not be including in another chapter. Listen people, this is how people are living daily both legal and illegally. Now imagine how expanded my mind became after a night like that. I couldn’t even fully enjoy the party as all I could think about was the possibilities that lay ahead and I was ready to get back home to go to work. This is my story and my name is Jade, necca you better recognize this homey.

Oh and no security shouldn’t be on the lookout cause some black guys were flying out in their own plane but they should’ve been on the lookout for anyone not really fitting the build of “traveling” people. Jesse and Al, my dudes lol.

Words

Dear words, I need you to direct a symphony of meaning. I will type what you impress on me. Clear and moving I hope my letters will form an image of something easy to follow and understand. People are in need of encouragement and guidance, so please pour out onto this paper to give them what is needed. They may not be able to see all the charms around them. They may not be able to see the gem that stares back at them in the mirror. Man, woman, boy or girl you are a jewel unlike any other and to be discovered is like finding something so rare that it’s truly unique. So do I speak to the people and say these things or do I continue to express the love I witness often? Do I ignore the destruction around me and focus on the newness around? How do I do either without overlooking the other? Dear words, make sense of what it is the melody is trying to say. I know it wants to dance in a message of ease but that’s not reality for some and I want all to step with me as I praise in the good things of life. Sure there’s pain and hurt but the good carries a much bigger experience in this life of ours. What I believe I’m trying to say is find the good in all things. Even through death, there comes life. Even through loss there is gain and finding the good in that is a peace that has the ability to surpass all understanding. Upbeat and gifted is this rhythm playing in your backyard, so come on…dance with me…… Keep stepping…keep stepping.

I Will Always See

Is it meant for a man to see such beauty in her? I cannot help but to express not only what I see but what I feel as well. Sure she is outward an expression of God’s joy, but there’s more of it that lies beneath the surface. I see it through her smile and laughter. I see it so clearly that a smile breaks my face when I see it. Inside her is peace and pleasure that would last a lifetime. In her is patience and misunderstanding. I pretend not to know her, but rather I know what I feel and what I feel is unmeasured contentment that she is gifted with angelic admiration of love. To come into contact with a love this extraordinary is something beyond common. “Some people search a lifetime to discover this kind of” love, so to appreciate the spirit of which she brings is something that I must speak of. She is reasons I write. She is reasons I want to be better. She is reasons I sit up at night reading. She is reasons I pray. She is reasons I see hope. She is reasons I have reasons to have reasons. Do you not think I have to express these and so much more? I see beauty in you babes and I ain’t afraid to speak on it. I will always see beauty in you.

I May Turn Away But...

I tend to turn away from you Lord when I find myself lost and confused. When all is going well, I give you all the praise and worship that you desire and deserve. I cannot find myself pleading to You when I am without because You been nothing but a provider and protector even when I didn’t deserve it. They say that it is when you are lost that you’re to lean on You but I’d rather lean on you when I’m found. I care not to bring my worries to you because you’ve always been my aide even without me asking. You are my lamp in darkness. Your words dwell in me and pour out in time of need. I thank You for trusting and instilling in me an understanding of who You are and who I am. I know that You’ve trained, guided and shown me the way so I also understand that I must stand when the time comes and trust that You’ll catch me if I fall. Please do not be offended that during my lost state that I do not run to You, as You’ve taught me enough to make it out on the other side. I will always give you praise through any and all things. Thank you for the people You’ve assigned to me. Thank You for the lessons You teach. Thank you for your words that I hide unto my heart. I do ask that You forgive me where I fall short and cleanse me like never before that I may be restored unto You fresh. Thank You Father for never giving up on me and freeing me from my past. Thank You…Thank You!

My Name is Jade

I don’t know why it was so easy but this life was as easy as it comes. I guess as with anything you’re into, you’ll do it well and after all this was in my blood (literally). Everything from obtaining ‘businesses’, to making new acquaintances, it all just fell into my lap. This particular day would prove to be no exception to the normal as I was introduced to someone that opened my eyes endless possibilities.

One of the ways I remained ‘normal’ was to take on normal routines as far as ‘work’ was concerned. Along the way I learned how to complete a number of tasks such as heating and air, small car repair, telecommunications, truck driving and even home remodeling. Now why would someone seemingly successful in another business find the need to learn those other things? Well, in order to remain successful I knew I had to be different. There is no such thing as a successful drug dealer and it is definitely a lifestyle that does not last. Yeah, but why learn those other things? Simple answer is access; it gave me access to people and that opened other doors. Boy-o-boy it opened many doors. The work that opened the most doors was telecommunications. With one push of this doorbell, a lot was changed. This day I had on my telecommunications hat and was accompanying a fellow technician there to install service for a, um we’ll call him Mr. Brian. Mr. Brian was laid back, but loved to talk. The more he spoke the more I became interested in what he did for a living. Me being me, I didn’t hesitate to ask him what he did for a living. He smiled and said, “I’m a pilot”. Feeling that there was more to that, I asked him what company he flew for and he replied with some company I hadn’t heard of. He said that he only flew as he was needed and that it was from the states to Europe. He said he paid well and that he made additional money by flying people back and forth to other locations around the states. He would simply rent a plane (the same one every time) and fly people that could afford it to wherever they choose. Now what would you think, do or say if you were in my shoes and just heard something like that? My eyes were opened so wide I didn’t have to say anything to Mr. Brian (I need to drop the Mr. because he was/is young), he knew I wanted to fly. Without asking, Brian asked me to come by the next day so that he could take me to check out his plane. Thinking about all this is quite amazing because you’d be surprised at the unspoken language in some business transactions. If you know the business you’ll hear it, but if not, you’d be clueless to the business being done right under your nose. This is my language and the language I speak is Jade.

This one will definitely be continued…

Mr. Writer

Um Mr. Writer, I need you to heed your own words! Like for real already my dude.... Adhere to what you know and what you know is REALITY!

Clear Paper

A clear white sheet of paper with no words yet printed on it can sometimes say so much. There’s a lot behind a nothing and so much within blankness. There’s something in its simplicity that says so much without needing anything applied. Its absoluteness and certainty that its purpose is simple and defined and not able to be confused with anything else rings out to me. There’s no obstacle to prevent it from doing its thing. There’s no push back but rather it’s ready and waiting to except the letters that tell the stories as the pages turn. It does not provide a wait and see but beckons to live through imagination or reality. A clear white sheet of paper can teach so much. School is in session, now let the class begin!

TD-H

TD-H
I still delight in your smile. Even when I don’t want too, your ‘you’ makes hope jump inside me. I still gotta write about this thing I share with you. SMH, “what thing”, you may ask and to that I say, “This thing!” Yeah I’m still standing in the gap of you and dancing to the music of you. “What music?” you may ask, and to that I say, “this music”. Yeah we kinda share a smooth methodic dance that when made even the cardinals stop and stare. They do! I’ve seen them come back just to see if the dance of love is growing. Yeah they really do! Just thought you should know that your smile still brightens my space.

Stand For Peculiar

When you make a stance expect that some around you will look at you with the “who do they think they are” attitude. You are not meant to be normal but rather peculiar. If you were meant to be the same as the next person, then you’d bring about no change but rather add to the status quo. Simple enough as it may sound, speak when you should and do not close your eyes to the things that may harm others. The way you care is not like others and your caring has an ability to show others that a change can and often times are the best move for them. Caring is speaking and not holding in or out. Freely give the words that have been poured into you. They save and saved you from many “deaths” and allowed for many second chances so in those chances your destiny is to provide purpose in your days. Look back upon your days and understand that each one provided meaning to the next. Kiss the stance of unwavering faith right on the lips and say that holding back is no longer an option because I love you just that much. 

Man In The Mirror part 2

You can spend a lifetime and never find the taste of life. Yet often times we are surrounded by it and fail to witness it. We ourselves prevent our buds from tasting the flavor that was mixed specifically for us. Whether due to looking in places for the very thing that’s in front of you or choosing a path you choose alone, we block so much from our lives. Look around you and see the weeds in your field and pluck them. You are so much more than you see in your mirror. You are captured power and heavenly manufactured peace. You don’t have to seek, peace, joy and love will find you! Time out for second place and not reaching for the stars and staying complacent in the state that you are in. Stand in the wisdom of knowing that you are important and something meant for sharing in ways that some very, truly blessed person would be lucky to have. You are first and definitely not purposed for last place or loss. The creation of you sparked joy to many, and expectations were placed on you before you laid eyes on this world. You still carry those today, expectations that is. I expect you to know that you are special, unique and carry gifts that are uniquely specialized just for you. As for your mate, they will want each day with you to not end. I will give you a measure to remember when it comes to that mate; if they do not feel that way about you, then they are not your check to your mate. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. I wish you could see that the beauty that environs your days was meant just for you to rejoice in it. I use the word beauty often because it personifies much and many things, but to me it defines perfection as close as possible to heaven I could imagine. It actually brings a smile to my face now when thinking of the power beauty brings. Don’t miss your flavors any further. Know that when you see me I’m praying for you and expecting nothing but the best for you. I am in your corner and together we will win this race of life. Today is your beginning and remember that anyone interested in running this race with you will suit up and let you know that they are in. So until then…ready, set……go!

Random Vision

tonight i'm reminded of your presence. i can see ur pretty white dress as you enter the room (or area). the weather is perfect and its as if heaven has opened up its best view for the occasion. you look absolutely amazing, so much so that a tear drops from my eye. ur smile is capturing hearts across the aisle. i mean u look beautiful. there's a pianist playing a solo. i'm singing to u as u make ur approach. its so vivid that i swear i can reach out and touch u now. y would such a dream like this be so realistic and ur soooo far away, there's a video of u playing too...from birth to current day. i can hear the water in the background. u have no idea the vison i see of u. none!!!

My Name is Jade

What do you do when the police raid your mother’s home, looking for you? Trust me, it’s a call that you do not want to receive. “Jade, the police is here looking for you.” Yeah, definitely not something you want to have your mother go through. There’s a lot that runs through your head when something like that happens. What are they there for? What are they looking for? Is there anything there that they could find? Will moms let them know where I am? Are they headed here now? Yeah, the lists of questions go on-and-on. We’ve all seen those CSI shows so you know that you have to move fast and oh, get off the phone. That happens to be a knack of mine, moving fast that is. I tend to think fast on my feet and make good decisions in situations such as these. I mean, what am I doing? I gotta make some changes here.

The police raided my mother’s home due to an outstanding traffic violation. Who’s ever heard of such a thing? I’ve been smart all my life, or rather I’d like to think I’ve been. There are a lot of things that happen when things come out into the open. First the “shock” that something like this could happen. That one always gets me because when you reap from something you know damn well is not on the up and up, why would you be shocked when something like this happens? Are you really that blind to the things around you? What 23 year old with no college experience or professional contract somewhere drives a new Range, Benz and Jag and owns 3 homes all without truly working “full time”? Um unless that 23 year old comes from money, then don’t be blind to these things. It’s ok though, many people like to enjoy the ride for as long as it last, but when the ride ends don’t pretend that you didn’t notice the views along the way. The second thing that typically happens is you lose people that use to be clinging to your nuts. Now if you’re smart you expected that one to happen. I mean it takes a lot to stand with something that is embarrassing and dangerous, so you’d be a fool to expect everyone to stand by your side.

The goal of the police that day was simple, it was meant to let me know that they were on to me and it would be a matter of time before I was either paying them, locked up or dead and as I said I think fast on my feet and knew I wouldn’t be doing either of those 3 things.

Let’s not forget, when in power you make powerful friends and they would prove to be beneficial to me during my exit. This is my story and my name is Jade.

My Name is Jade

She didn’t know either by choice and naïve. As from my perspective it was best that she did not know anything. If anything were to happen, she would truly be clueless to the things around her. Understand though, she was no dummy and had an idea of some things but not anything for certain. I remember her asking me why I never brought my friends around and why is it that people know us and I’d always say because I don’t and because they do. I would tell her to not ask me questions about things and she knew it was simply better not too. I remember her sitting in courtrooms with both a look of, ‘why we are here ’and ‘why are we really here’.

I remember her and I going to a Hawks game and while walking into the stadium we ran into one of my ‘people’ and he was definitely not anyone she’d seen me with before. He and I chatted for a second about ‘things’ and afterward she and I continued into the game. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she asked, “How do you know him?” Of course my response was, “I just do” and I expected that to be the end of that but this one she could not let go. She pressed and asked again and again how I’d knew him. To her defense he looked like what some people would call a street thug or whatever. He was tatted from head to toe with the infamous tear drop tat, which signifies you’ve killed someone. He’s definitely not someone you’d feel safe around unless you knew him lol. No matter how much she asked, my reply remained the same. In an effort to calm her, I told her I’d invite him to the next get together we had and that was enough to quiet her.

I have many stories to tell and many chapters within those stories and I hope that in the end I am able to convince someone to change for the better. As you read these stories you’ll see that most if not all the people I dealt with on a close level are either in jail or dead. This does not end well and it hasn’t been well for me either. I’ve faced some struggles and still do, so in no way should you look upon this and think that this is the life to live. Trust me, the sound of a bullet entering flesh or the smell of drugs being cooked or the sound of a jail cell locking you in are all things you’d like to forget but would never be able to do. I write because it’s in me to do so, not to paint a picture of glory. This is my story and my name is Jade!

Hide N Gone

Close your eyes and count to ten and see if you ever get this again. You charmed your way in my territory but today is eviction day so I suggest you remove your possessions from this space. You see I see through you and I am no longer caught in your magnetism. Yes you had me at hello, but now experience the loss of me at goodbye. Look, I’m not going to make this long, ………. {enter awkward silence}…………….. you still here?

My Name is Jade

If I were transparent you’d see the break in my heart. As she returns to another I witness the dreams of my tomorrow pass away slowly. Like walking through a mall, you’d see right through me and see everything on the shelves of my life. The pain of loneness and lost might have you standing in aw for a while. If I were to be honest for a moment I’d say that I’m tired of losing out on the things I want most. I’d say, what’s the point in being and doing the right thing? You’d see the little boy from Ada floating in a sea of tears held back only from life’s pains that was built out of frustrations. If you stepped into my shoes you’d burn with the feeling that my dreams, while so vivid and reality to my current being are such a torturous place. When does this all end? When does the pleasure of tasting that which is good, stop ending in loss and start ceasing to end, but rather last an eternity? If I exposed myself fully, many would see the falling inside me that beckons to be caught, kept, loved and mended from the many breaks in my heart. At the sacrifice of me, I pray that all others joy remains with them and that they obtain everything that they desire and keep the things they need. If I were transparent you’d see that through my brokenness I am constantly healed in the faith that my architect designed me so unique that only 1 special person may inhabit this space along with me. You’d see that I can suffer much if it that which I suffer for is truly intended for me and for me alone. Healed…and my name is Jade

My Name is Jade

This is no movie and it happens in many of the cities you live in. It may seem truly unbelievable that things such as these really happen but pierce through my eyes and you’ll soon discover that a war is being fought daily right in your backyard and right in here these United States of America.
Dinner amongst “friends” is supposed to be nice and relaxing. It’s supposed to be filled with laughter and good conversation and perhaps some toast to the good week you had. Yeah that’s the way things are supposed to be but that is definitely not my life. None-the-less me and some “friends” decided to head out for some seafood feasting and later get into whatever or whomever. There we were, living the good life and having a blast, but things are never as they seem in this lifestyle and soon the laughter would turn into a nightmare. Now no matter what I’m doing or where I am, I am always aware of my surroundings and that night would test just how aware I truly was. I remember the waiter bringing extra napkins while the servers were handing out the plates that were ordered. Man this was some scarface type of crap too, because one of the servers had that white scarf over his arm while showing off the bottle of wine that was to be poured. It was some real classy ish. I remember the older couple that was coming through the door, as they looked like a nice couple. He was fair skinned and she had a caramel completion. I even remember the neon light from the restaurant sign glowing on street and the ripples in the puddle of water as cars drove by. I remember a silver lexus pulling up to the curb, seemingly looking for valet, but when the car crept up approximately 5 feet and then went into reverse, I knew something was not right. Before I could get a word out…….Boom, Bang, Bang, Bow!!! Gun shots rang out and the chaos began. As you can imagine, the screaming, running and glass breaking began and for the party I was with, gunfire was returned. I swear it seemed like hours were passing but it all took place within a 5 minute period. 5 minutes and 1 second later, there was complete dead silence. It’s quite weird when you hear silence such as that and 2 seconds later the noise begins. I remember Bo shouting at me saying, “You hit? You hit?” Not a word left my lips and he figured I was good and went to check others. “Nooooo! Come on dawg! Get up! Get up! I will never forget the sound of death in a voice, as I could hear Bo trying to call death away from Jermaine who’d been shot 4 times and was killed instantly. As I stood there, thinking and understanding the magnitude of what just took place and slowly began to understand that this was not something random and that somehow this was something that had been planned and planned with the help of one of my “friends”. I lost a close friend that night and instead of Jermaine on the tombstone it could have read, My Name is Jade!

Time in a Bottle

Time spent with someone you care for is nice and it’s even better when spent with someone you love. When you experience that kind of time in a bottle everything suddenly has life. You notice the random colors that surround you and the lyrics in songs have strong meaning to them. As the investment in time is being counted and stored you find that you’ve grown an expanded in ways you hadn’t expected you would. You last in moments that you’ve shared and are able to smile at the many flashes that kept the explosive chemistry between you and them. Give me just another day to swim in your arms and awake to your morning smile. Show me where, how, when and what I’d have to do to keep times pace from catching up to tomorrows sunset. As I stand in the shadow of this passing day, I ponder at the audacity of hope that these things that each has given will not fade into its darkness. With lifted spirits I am joyed at the many comforts, conversations, smiles and laughter, touches and kisses and the simple calmness we’ve shared and they shall remain with me for a lifetime. So sure I’ve been, that the you and I time would never falter that this time that is before me does not come without a slew of emotions and killed moments that takes a piece of my soul away forever. I still find rest in the days I gave and peace in the knowing that everything in me was poured without limitations and for that, I will forever be grateful to have had you be a part of me and I too you.

X-pression

Yeah she won’t see me standing in front of her because her vision is blocked. There is no more to be done and no words that need to be spoken any further. No matter the amount of substance that’s poured it will be mistaken for something else. The doubts or worries remain and pulls her away just as the taste of her stains my days. Expression is life and the ability to live through it defines me, but I’m stifled by slipping hands I once held and lips I’ve kissed freely. When I reach will your arms be there to comfort the lost thoughts that cripple my dreams or shall I remain on a collision course with vanished moments. She is so close and yet so far away that it is like looking through waters that run deep. When settled, all is calm and clear but that one pebble that breaks the tranquility unsettles so much that even I am lost in the waves it makes. The dilemma is that I’ve seen her views unblocked and it fed me for a lifetime but I’m in need of a quick quenching and I hope it comes soon. Words are my expression.

Back To Bed

Will you come back to bed baby? I want to lay here a while longer and enjoy the small moments that present themselves for the taking. Rest here and lay your head on my chest as I run my fingers through your hair. There’s time always remaining and is never past due when it comes to a you and I. Climb back underneath these covers and roll up next to me so that I can feel your skin breathing against mine. Settle my missing you passion with your presence. ‘Tap, tap’, yes, right here baby, place your making right here! Shh, rest your cares, concerns, thoughts and words under the silence of this calming space. You are my present this morning, so come here so that I can say good morning to you the proper way. Slip out of those clothes and remove those slippers…yeah that’s it, come here baby. We don’t need to be in a hurry today. Good morning baby!!!

Tunnel Vision

My mind is like a tunnel with the outer edges always changing. The center is always smooth and calm but the walls are difficult to read and understand but are filled with life and abundance. The center is paved with black shiny stone and is endless, while the walls are painted with brilliant colors that are ever changing in motion. Picking one particular thing to focus on is nearly impossible as the beauty of it is so marvelous that finding that one thing cannot be. The movement of it all is seamless and soft and beckons to be touched but its distance won’t allow for it. There are colors that have yet to be named dotted throughout. You might confuse its dance with confusion but it tells a story that calms even the deepest thoughts. My mind provides peace that even, even when I should be torn I am easy. I wish I could find a way to paint the dotted expressions that cover its canvas. What a joyous place that stays with me and is accessible at any given point. 

Sorry

All I know how to do is love. Sorry

What If

What if I’d never met you and I never asked for your hand to dance? What if I’d never invited you out to dinner? What if I never looked into those amazing eyes? What if my heart didn’t skip a beat whenever you are near me? What if I’d never kissed or made love to you? What if I hadn’t seen my future in your smile? What if opportunity never knocked or that the signs that said go, where changed to stop? What if you weren’t all the things I’ve prayed for and then some and some yet to be revealed? What if I hadn’t asked for your hand in marriage and promised you that every day for the rest my life I would love and cherish you? What if I didn’t get to dance with you as my bride? What if you never had our children? What if we didn’t get to take walks through the park or cuddle next to each other while watching a movie? What if kissing you never became my joy? What if our home never was? What if breakfast in bed was never prepared? What if I couldn’t express myself to you and you to me? What if you never read anything I wrote? What if I ignored your passions and never fed into them? What if after years together I missed your beauty? What if I never realized just how beautiful you are? What if time never allowed for investment in you? What if I never truly got to know you and missed out on the loves of my life? What if I didn’t realize you were worth the fight? What if I saw you as just another woman? What if I wasn’t thinking of how much I enjoy you and how much I want my future to be with you? What if you say yes?

For Me

If we never learn from our past then our past is certainly bound to repeat itself. Whether good or bad, the choices we make will define who we are. While everyone would love to have just the good, often times it is the bad that we try desperately to run from. We all carry “bad” in our lives and some are worse than others. We can choose the direction we will go in by making better choices and those choices can be found or started in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. Have you ever been around a group of negative people and listened to their conversation? What you’ll find is that somehow the positive things are always turned into a negative in some way. Take this one for example, “John just bought a nice new car. I don’t know what he gone do now when it comes to getting gas. Shoot he’ll probably end up losing it because he can’t afford the gas.” You may have picture someone you know when you read that. Hopefully they are not in your circle of “people food”. Everything we eat feeds our body in some way or another and the same can be said of the people who feed words into our lives. Look for the good and make it your routine and imprint your good unto the things that surround you. Choose the good and do not dwell in the bad. With this small change, today’s tomorrows will be filled with good presents.

A Dance

Will you slow dance with me? Will you slow dance with me just a little while longer? Will you slow dance with me and make it last an eternity? Will our moment stay? Will we be completed in the song of hope? Will you slow dance with me and rest your cares into my chest? Will tomorrow’s melody be silenced from interruption? Will you slow dance with me and look up into my eyes and find comfort? Will you slow dance with me under the matching heartbeats we share? Will you take my hand and lead me to the dance floor and say, “dance with me slowly”? Will you slow dance with me and never let it end……never let it end