X-pression

Yeah she won’t see me standing in front of her because her vision is blocked. There is no more to be done and no words that need to be spoken any further. No matter the amount of substance that’s poured it will be mistaken for something else. The doubts or worries remain and pulls her away just as the taste of her stains my days. Expression is life and the ability to live through it defines me, but I’m stifled by slipping hands I once held and lips I’ve kissed freely. When I reach will your arms be there to comfort the lost thoughts that cripple my dreams or shall I remain on a collision course with vanished moments. She is so close and yet so far away that it is like looking through waters that run deep. When settled, all is calm and clear but that one pebble that breaks the tranquility unsettles so much that even I am lost in the waves it makes. The dilemma is that I’ve seen her views unblocked and it fed me for a lifetime but I’m in need of a quick quenching and I hope it comes soon. Words are my expression.

Back To Bed

Will you come back to bed baby? I want to lay here a while longer and enjoy the small moments that present themselves for the taking. Rest here and lay your head on my chest as I run my fingers through your hair. There’s time always remaining and is never past due when it comes to a you and I. Climb back underneath these covers and roll up next to me so that I can feel your skin breathing against mine. Settle my missing you passion with your presence. ‘Tap, tap’, yes, right here baby, place your making right here! Shh, rest your cares, concerns, thoughts and words under the silence of this calming space. You are my present this morning, so come here so that I can say good morning to you the proper way. Slip out of those clothes and remove those slippers…yeah that’s it, come here baby. We don’t need to be in a hurry today. Good morning baby!!!

Tunnel Vision

My mind is like a tunnel with the outer edges always changing. The center is always smooth and calm but the walls are difficult to read and understand but are filled with life and abundance. The center is paved with black shiny stone and is endless, while the walls are painted with brilliant colors that are ever changing in motion. Picking one particular thing to focus on is nearly impossible as the beauty of it is so marvelous that finding that one thing cannot be. The movement of it all is seamless and soft and beckons to be touched but its distance won’t allow for it. There are colors that have yet to be named dotted throughout. You might confuse its dance with confusion but it tells a story that calms even the deepest thoughts. My mind provides peace that even, even when I should be torn I am easy. I wish I could find a way to paint the dotted expressions that cover its canvas. What a joyous place that stays with me and is accessible at any given point. 

Sorry

All I know how to do is love. Sorry

What If

What if I’d never met you and I never asked for your hand to dance? What if I’d never invited you out to dinner? What if I never looked into those amazing eyes? What if my heart didn’t skip a beat whenever you are near me? What if I’d never kissed or made love to you? What if I hadn’t seen my future in your smile? What if opportunity never knocked or that the signs that said go, where changed to stop? What if you weren’t all the things I’ve prayed for and then some and some yet to be revealed? What if I hadn’t asked for your hand in marriage and promised you that every day for the rest my life I would love and cherish you? What if I didn’t get to dance with you as my bride? What if you never had our children? What if we didn’t get to take walks through the park or cuddle next to each other while watching a movie? What if kissing you never became my joy? What if our home never was? What if breakfast in bed was never prepared? What if I couldn’t express myself to you and you to me? What if you never read anything I wrote? What if I ignored your passions and never fed into them? What if after years together I missed your beauty? What if I never realized just how beautiful you are? What if time never allowed for investment in you? What if I never truly got to know you and missed out on the loves of my life? What if I didn’t realize you were worth the fight? What if I saw you as just another woman? What if I wasn’t thinking of how much I enjoy you and how much I want my future to be with you? What if you say yes?

For Me

If we never learn from our past then our past is certainly bound to repeat itself. Whether good or bad, the choices we make will define who we are. While everyone would love to have just the good, often times it is the bad that we try desperately to run from. We all carry “bad” in our lives and some are worse than others. We can choose the direction we will go in by making better choices and those choices can be found or started in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. Have you ever been around a group of negative people and listened to their conversation? What you’ll find is that somehow the positive things are always turned into a negative in some way. Take this one for example, “John just bought a nice new car. I don’t know what he gone do now when it comes to getting gas. Shoot he’ll probably end up losing it because he can’t afford the gas.” You may have picture someone you know when you read that. Hopefully they are not in your circle of “people food”. Everything we eat feeds our body in some way or another and the same can be said of the people who feed words into our lives. Look for the good and make it your routine and imprint your good unto the things that surround you. Choose the good and do not dwell in the bad. With this small change, today’s tomorrows will be filled with good presents.

A Dance

Will you slow dance with me? Will you slow dance with me just a little while longer? Will you slow dance with me and make it last an eternity? Will our moment stay? Will we be completed in the song of hope? Will you slow dance with me and rest your cares into my chest? Will tomorrow’s melody be silenced from interruption? Will you slow dance with me and look up into my eyes and find comfort? Will you slow dance with me under the matching heartbeats we share? Will you take my hand and lead me to the dance floor and say, “dance with me slowly”? Will you slow dance with me and never let it end……never let it end

Dear Writer

You are smart, kind, giving, loving, excepting, willing, able, wise, encouraged, patient and many other things. You will rest in everything you dream of and more. You are rare when it comes to giving, because you give through and with your heart. All the challenges and setbacks that you’ve faced will only elevate you into your hemisphere. You have many talents to offer too many people and things. You are a beauty that I think is rare, as you are able to find beauty in places, things and people that others may overlook. You amaze me at how you connect all things in the path of life and provide life and meaning to them. The way you open yourself up to love is an experience that few do and I hope you never lose that. Your song carries its own unique tune and its sound cannot ever be silenced once it has been heard. You have an uncanny ability to pick yourself up when you’ve been down, but the biggest difference in that is that you do it with a smile and very few regrets. You go for what you want and ignore the “no’s” until you’ve obtained your destiny. You write through love. Your gifts are worth so much and even though you may realize some of your worth, you may not know just how valuable you are. You are life, and the many abundances that it offers are all yours. I love you.

I Wonder

I wondered if she’d think of me. Would she think of me as minutes passed by. Would she wonder where I could be. Would she wonder what I am doing. Would she wish that she were here instead of there. Would I fade away from her thoughts or would an everlasting spec of me cause her heart to rest no more and find a need for me. I wonder if I’ve made an imprint unto her soul that’s so powerful that even while away it connects her to me and I to her. I wonder if the moments that have been captured are strong enough to turn away the hands of another. Would those delicate kisses still have feeling while I’m away. I wonder if she’s ever felt my heart race for her. I wondered what goes through her thoughts when she looked into my eyes, especially at the very second they were speaking a love language. I wonder if she’d think about her hands in mine and smile. I wonder if she knows that waking next to her is what they call morning delight. I wonder as she ponders her days, how much or how little I’m in the future of them. I wonder if she knows that I’d climb a mountain of “no’s” to get to her “yes”. I wonder at what moment she will take “this thing” we have and breathe it into her fabric. I wonder if it is the start of love that I see in her smile. I wonder when I am gone would she……….

Time

Ok, so this thing called time is forever a changing momentum in life. Most of the days you end up with little of it to do the things you'd like too, but sometimes a gift of time is given for the very thing (s) that the time was designed for. I believe everything is based on numbers and therefore everything is connected and divisable by another. At the perfect moment in space I've been gifted a present that only the movement of life would offer. Ironically the T that equals X is running out and the answer to times equation will be complete. Only the X factor will not necessarily complete the riddle, but in fact lead to another equation that opens to more time. So how do you calculate the block of time seemingly placed in the center of space that brought upon something new? Well,I think the answer to that is T squarred by E = X. The reason for the solution is that momentum swings in the way of the progression which leads to new starts. That my friends is the answer to the riddle that ponders many.

My Name is Jade

You’d be amazed at the things you may be over looking. Home purchase, car rental, haircuts and car purchases are or can be nothing more than a legitimizing face to something that is truly far different from what it looks like on the outside. I mean come on, we (black people) know that most (if not all) barber shops is the place you go to get a hook up on anything you want or need. You need music, you hit the shop. You need clothes, you hit the shop. You need movies, you hit the shop. You need purses, hair, jewelry, weed or whatever, you hit the shop. Sorry shop owners but yawl know and yawl also know that that is not a secret. I mean the shop is life line to what’s going on. You have to be able to walk in a shop and it feel like “cheers”, where everyone knows your face and not your “real” name lol. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some legit businesses out there but huh, well you know. Ok, so what’s my point to all this? Well my first big “break” came from the barber shop and from that break came others. Out of all the breaks I’ve come across, there was one that crossed boarders and it came in the form of a used car lot. Now we’ve all seen the buy here pay here spots with the luxury cars that will give you financing even with no proof of income. You bring cash, you ride! Man you gotta love America. I mean where else can you walk into a dealership with nothing but cash and drive out with a Benz, Jag or whatever else you’d like? Heck, in some cases you don’t even need a driver’s license; you just need a name and a “pass”. Now people please don’t walk into a dealership and say you gotta a pass and want a car, cause your feelings might get hurt. For those of you that know what I mean when I say a “pass”, you know what I mean, but for those that don’t, it is basically credit by name alone but that name is understood to be good for it. So there I was in need or more in want of something new to drive around in and found myself sitting in Mr. Mohammad’s office being given the choice of whatever I wanted. Mr. Mohammad was a very successful “dealer” (cars) with ties to “dealers” that could get pretty much anything he wanted. I remember him so well because he didn’t say much, he just nodded his head or gave a look and people knew what he meant. There wasn’t a sense of power or ownership, it was more an understanding. For some reason he took to me and embraced me and with that my name was truly born and even today it still is. My name is Jade……. While I obviously change the names of people and businesses I will give a little hint to today’s story…… This business shares the name of the greatest one of all time and I was next door to it today (5-25-11).

TDH

TDH I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day!


You've wondered what, why, who, how I could say that so freely so allow me to explain why it is offered so freely from me to you.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

All of these apply to you today and tomorrow but what sort of confirms it is that it's been really easy and fluent. Daily it's being preserved, and for these I am always grateful and will always express these things. I once thought that love would elude me always. What I know you can't see is that no longer do I live there. Today I now know that Corinthians love cannot be contained, and when it is set free and freely given, it returns onto you fully charged and in acceptance of all that comes along with it. Tiffany it has and continues to amaze me just how much your lil butt has enlightened me. While I've always been covered under grace, I failed to realize that a promise of love was spoken over me long before the creation of me. Being that life lives and will live regardless, it was through you that such a revelation was birthed. So yes, your name was used and no it shall not be deleted. Because of you, I now live again with expectation to expect all.

Thanks babes.....


This is me..this is who I am..I gotta pay attention to the whispers

Questions

Do you know my likes and dislikes, or are you so complacent that those things elude you? Did you hear what I said or were you listening to what you wanted to hear? Have I not revealed myself enough to you, that you may want to stand alongside me? Have you chosen to look upon this thing with blinders on and live through limitations? Does not the sound of my voice leaves an expectation of more to come? Have you seen delight in my eyes as I settle upon yours? Have you opened yourself with the knowing that connections are made this way? Have you rested on the possibility of possibilities? Do you know that I’ll cover you through anything? Do you know that all that is mine is proposed for you too? Have you heard life within me as I converse with you? Has your mind convicted you beyond doubt and arrested you the thought that my love is YOUR love? Has love surprised you in ways you hadn’t thought of previously? Do you know I’ll stand for you? Can you feel me? Do you understand me? Do you know I’d wait a lifetime for you? Do you know time that which is given is always a gift and this time has been nothing but a gifting event for me? Do you realize that something meant for darkness has brought such a powerful and beautiful light unto me? To answer that first question, it is you and the thought of ever losing that.

To The Point

Woman your skin calls to me and I sit anxiously awaiting its call. This will not be long, nor evasive, but it will be straight to the point. As I rest here and search into your eyes, I am connected to your making. It's quite amazing just how you've rested upon, inside and out of my thoughts. I'm missing you, even as you rest next to me now, but as the song says, sometimes you make me smile even though no words are spoken, but through subtle moments I am awaken in your beauty. As I said, this will not be long, nor evasive but straight to the point, so here it is...Woman, friend, confidant, lover and better half of me, I end with, I love you!

Bored

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack done gone and said some ish that got his azz kicked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, I just hope she’s on the pill.
Little boy Peep ended up being a freak.
Any, many, miny moe, tonight I’m trying to find the one that’ll be my H**.
Abra kadabra, all aka zam, don’t know why I’m thinking of lil BAM BAM.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock – man that lil mouse gone get shot!
Jack and the bean stalk – yeah…what was up with that anyway? Just saying!

She is something ELSE

Live a Little

Ok, so the world was supposed to end at 6pm today and it is now 7pm, so I guess it’s safe to say it ain’t happening. I couldn’t help but think should anything be changed prior to the end. Should I do anything different? I mean, I kind of like my life and the people in it. As with anything I know there are some changes that if made would benefit me and my love ones but overall, deep down what changes would be so drastic that it literally changes the makeup of me. Spend more time with love ones? Read more? Pray more? Travel more? Yeah, yeah stuff like that, but any abnormal change would not be genuine and therefore would not reflect the purity of me; correct? Yeah, I’m rambling on and on but hey these are my thoughts. I ponder life’s questions often and I believe that you must grab it by the horns and enjoy the ride. Live to live and live to discover the undiscovered. Wrap yourself up in the loves of your life and allow it to take you to new places; places you hadn’t even thought of. Its experience has been created just for you and you just for it. See it and lay against it.

Through the Dark

Through dark, woman I will feel my way through to you
Close your eyes and glide along with me
Let this breeze flow freely between the chemistry between us
Take me in slowly like a fine slow aged wine
Feel every representative of my soul as I touch the making of you
Woman your pleasure is my quest
So be the director to these hands and guide me along the right spot (s)

Whisper what you’ve never uttered prior
As I dance to the groove of your hip motion
place
Those chocolate legs around the waist that grinds upon you

Imma be here for a moment so rest your cares onto me as
These hands that brush along the smooth beauty of your face be
Allowed to take you further than any distance you’ve been measured

Deeper I will seek your burst all the while pulling, grabbing, touching and kissing
Along your canvas, I will become Picasso
This moment was danced along time prior to now


and oh so how I’ve waited for this
and so...
I can hardly contain the beat that hearts beat for you

You’ve breathed next to me, but
Tonight the race of your lungs catching up to the rhyme of
The sounds of making love
Shall be the delicacy that tongues desire
As I taste the pleasure of
All of you
From your making to every fiber of YOU and
Through darkness, I will paint your beauty, so that it stains my thoughts always

For Me

Life is short and you never know when your moment will come. Sounds blah blah blah but you truly never know when you are done. Today I’m tired. I’m tired of keeping things in, even though I don’t know how else to be. I’ve seen death come in many forms and at random times so you’d think this death wouldn’t be so difficult to swallow but it is. With tears forming in my eyes the feeling of alone settles up against me. The world lost a good person this week. I mean an overall good person. You know when someone is just good to be around? Someone who cared not for themselves first? Yeah, that kind of person was lost this week and I’m trying to deal with it bravely but all I want to do is lean on someone and shed a tear or two. This has been a reflection type of experience for me, as so often death does, and it has made me look differently upon many things. One of the things I look upon is the saying, give and it shall be given unto you, but tonight as I write this I question it. Another is knowing based off feeling and I think that maybe knowing is really not knowing anything at all (hard to explain). I’ve liked who I am because I consider myself to think of others first and would give my all to anyone in need or so I hope. I don’t put my worries or feelings out there much because I don’t trust that they will be protected, but sometimes I want to just rest with someone and transparently reveal myself. It is then that a release can take place. I trust in God and know that He is my comforter but I also believe in people that He places in my life and therefore look (sometimes) to them to just know. Can you not see that I am not myself or is it that you care not? No this is not to you, it is for me. I moved people out of my life and I believe that you must do this continually throughout life but sometimes it is not that a removal is needed but more a conversation that’s needed. Writing helps me in so many ways and I can feel the power of it moving as I express myself through words. Lord, I am broken in a couple different ways and I need your help to put me back together again. You know my heart and you know what I need, so I ask that you simply be who You are to me. I’m tired. I can’t carry these things much longer, so will you send me help and when you do, do not allow me to mess it up in any capacity. Well that’s all I got to say tonight.

Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

My Name is Jade

So you wanna know if I got another side huh? Look partna, I will never hesitate to whip ass as needed. Big, medium or small, they all fall the same. I will take a beat down too, but you best believe my return will be fire like you’ve never seen. Why question a history that you play no part in? Don’t you know you should always know the history before you start the battle? Look, my silence is golden but when and if I have to speak on this level, rest assured there are consequences behind responses. I don’t believe in cocking back unless necessary, to which all I’ll say is yeah ok, but these hands will break down the best of em. Yeah, so uh that’s enough of word slanging, now get at me when you ready. Oh and in case you forgot, my name is Jade!

You Gone Walk With Me?

You gone walk with me? You gone trust that my footsteps will lead to you into fresh unchartered paradise? Do you realize that that would be my desire? Do you understand that there would be no limits to how high I’d reach for you? Do you know that I would make it my business to complete you? Do you distinguish that I’d expand your mind in efforts to compose your destiny like a fine tuned symphony? You should allow me to explore you like a dark, deep, moist cave that has never been discovered. Sanction me against you like I was made for you, is where I’d like to be. Would I be allowed to be your puff to your coco? Do you know that I want to be your beginning, middle and end? Do you know that I want to learn you like a,b,c’s? Woman, these footsteps will carry you when you’re in need, when you are ready. Do you know that I pray over you and ask that angels protect you in all of your coming and going? Do you know that your smile provide life? Do you know that I’d plant “us” in fertile ground? I see my gift in your eyes; did you know that? Would you mind if I danced a life with you? Yeah, I’d love to experience that kind of paradise with you. So um, are you gone walk with me?

My Name is Jade

With power comes these things: I’ll get that for you… You stay put, I got it… What do you need… Is there anything I can do?

The unusual moments that creep up that you are not expecting are the ones that provide meaning in life. So there she was, in all her magnificence (yeah I used the right word) coming toward me and there was nothing that could release my eyes from her motion. Strangely enough I was deep into a conversation with someone at the very moment she passed by, but everything/everyone faded away with each step she made. Like a kid in a candy store I knew I had to have her and if it took setting up a lemonade stand to raise money, I was going to do just that so that I could go back and get my candy. Didn’t matter what obstacles lay ahead, all I knew was that I’d never experienced the fading of others in a given space and leaving only “her” within it.
If there is/was anything I was used to, it was getting what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted it. This would prove to be very different for me as her “no’s” became the norm. As you can imagine, anytime you have something worthy of fighting, you will do what you have to do to obtain it. I’ve always been laid back and let things roll off my shoulders because end the end, the ball always rolled to my corner but for some reason this damn ball would not play fair. With each passing day the lure of her grew. Now, yes yes yes, we spent a lot of time together and yes to any questions that may be running through your head, but that’s for another chapter in this book. Since the ball would not play fairly, she became the hour to my glass as our time began to run out due to other factors somewhat beyond my control. While things were not necessarily handed to me always, many times they were but the things I had to fight for are still with me today. She would prove to be no different as I was prepared to suit up my armor and battle for as long as it would take to obtain the desire of core. With so much to lose and gain, I was ready and marched in with weapons drawn (no not literally) and would find that a battle of adoration was like battling myself. There would be so many lessons I’d learn and challenges I push through. Along with some losses, I’d gain some victories but with each clash I’d become stronger for what rest ahead and what rest ahead, not even I was truly prepared for. This is my story and my name is Jade!

Pensive Moment

Pensively in time I lay tired and at wits end. Not sure why I’m reminded of Kings famous words of, “Mine eyes have seen the coming of”, but it’s mystifying at this moment as mine eyes, touch, taste, smell, gift and present have danced in the space of music that is yet not available. To its rhythm I have moved and its cosmos has opened to my existing within it. Have mine eyes deceived me and I’ve visited an unrealistic touch of possibility? Occupation so rich and near that I can taste it, yet its holder clamps firmly on yesterday’s experiences. Still, still I rise (thanks Maya) ready, willing and able to face lost dreams through the hope to which I remain a prisoner of. A piece of me dies daily for a gift that came at exactly the right moment, because I am unable to fully unwrap its offer on me, yet I will tell the mind to rest now, and think no more of yes we can’s but rather rest in your comfort to know that an imprint left behind in space, remains persistently a voice of faith.

Tide

Don’t know how much longer I can exist in this capacity because it staggers me into positions that are not conducive to whom I am. There’s a song that says, “Sitting at the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away” and while it may be a comforting view, I’d want to jump in and roll with it. Take me wherever it will and allow me to experience the full ride of its journey. It’s a beautiful view from where I’m sitting and I want the view to last a while but there are clouds forming on the horizon. I’ll face them with preparation and hope that the beauty to which I am comforted in returns to rare form and hugs me tightly with its charm.

Inspiration

Inspiration comes from many places and there is beauty in it all, if you open up to it. Words on a page, a smile from that someone, a night’s sky, a change of seasons, a baby’s rest, and the nature that lives amongst us are just a few things that provide food to our thoughts. Everything that makes us who we are needs nurturing in some form or fashion. Today my rest came from two places. The first was smile that always opens my pores and allows for fullness to overtake every aspect of who it is that I am. Everything fades when I am under it and it lays upon me and provides comfort and rest; as if to say, “peace be still. I got this.” The second were words on a page which providing a lesson that fed my unknowingly need for the day. To me there is nothing greater than giving and I was reminded that it is who I am, and who I am cannot live fully without sharing my “water” with others. So today I send my words on this paper to myself. Let it be a reminder that, that which I drink shall also be poured out in return.

My Name is Jade

I’m not sure if you ever truly let go of your past. It is what defines me now. If it were not for it, I would not be who I am today. The thing that I grapple with is sometimes it feels easy to become trapped or more less drawn back into it. Power and ability are strong enough to stay with you through whatever you face in life and to have had it at will sometimes carry over into other aspects of my life. The thing that adds to that power is the fact that it was done in silence. Diddy and Biggie were right when they said, “bad boys move in silence”. To me that’s a piece that is lost in todays “world”. Silence is dead. It’s dead from every aspect of the word too. If you are hustling, you feel the need to let the world know and that’s a concept that I just don’t understand. I need to offer up a small piece of advice or wisdom lol…. Those that are seen but not heard are those with power and those that are heard will never be seen as anything but a thug. Last thing… a thug never stays around for long. My name is Jade…

My Name is Jade

Come on and fly with me. Keep up if you can. I will need you to dig your heels in, put on your belt and hold on tight. There will be moments when you want to shut your eyes, and when you get that urge, I suggest that you do. Look, all I’m saying is that I know that you’ve never experienced anything close to what I am about to show you. That doesn’t mean be afraid, it means be prepared. Understand that what I am telling you real and you should not doubt it. This, this right here will cause you to think beyond what you are accustomed to thinking. As a matter of fact, let’s call this experience an expansion. You ready? This is my world and my name is Jade.

I Bought You

You was on sale and so I bought you. I didn't really want you, nor did I have a taste for you but the price was good so a purchase was made. I set you on the counter and gave you no mind and figured I'd get to you when I got to you. You seemed content with where I placed you. Time passed and there you stayed and I gave no mention of you. Before long it was time to replace you and it meant nothing to me. The price I'd paid were pennies in a bucket and just like that you was out with the trash. Not a thought was given of you, and all...all...because you didn't value your own you!

Sister you are more than a body! You are priceless!

Heart of Opportunity

Can a heart be in 2 places? I have heard this question asked before and for me the answer is hands down no. You only have 1 heart to give and/or share, so when you place it in a place, it is there to remain until you take it away. Sure your thoughts can be in many places but when one has the heart of another, then the one with it holds the box of opportunity. It is for them to understand the opportunity and too protect it as needed. Protection comes in many forms and I mean it in many ways. I may distract someones attention but if a heart is taken then the distraction will be limited by time; that is to say, only if the keeper of it protects it. A kingdoms weakness should never be revealed to others outside it because there are others that want it. Therefore a King is to protect, keep, cherish, feed and love his kingdom and understand the needs of it. If another makes their way into the kingdoms chambers then it is bound to fall, as now the other has tasted its offers and shall surely desire it as their own. Keep what you cherish, under protection and listen to the heart of your opportunity.

Motionless Life

She is all that makes life move but yet I am motionless to reach her. No matter which words I choose for they fall upon deaf ears. From flowers to gifts they all end in failed attempts. Through phone calls and text message an expression is given, only to be deleted and not taken in. From and through effort a design is formed, and through determination something new is born. From those I find ways to feed my purpose even when adversity stares me in the eye and says I cannot or will not obtain that which you seek. Look at me, all ready, willing and able to transcend "myself's" still body and transform it into a seamless work of you. You may not see, feel, taste or touch the meanings of these words but I pray that one day you may find that my move is contoured to your motion and that its outline is dotted with you as a part of me. Do I write more or have these black letters on this white paper said enough? ....to be continued....

Come Outside

Come on outside and enjoy this days spring air
Lap me up with dew delight
Start another moment but make it fresh
Live in the moment with care

Watch me move all around you
Catch me as deep as you can
Ha ha, stop and smell my roses
Taste this new

Pause for second in your mind
See what pleasures abound
Feel its breathe among you
Go slowly, for we have nothing but time

Hey you, yes you, whose smile matches my offer
Look your garden is full of passions fruit
I've supplied the fertilization to your moon
All that is needed now is to remove the buffer

Yeah it's a nice day to be out
I wanted you to have joy in every corner
I'm at your back while reaching your front
After today you'll have no doubt

Bet you hadn't planned on this
Surrounded by the essence of essence
OMG just for you?
It's your everything that once was your wish list

Slowly, slowly I will treat you to today's gift
You see, you touch, you taste, you experience
All, all that I've come to give
And presented to you; will you except ****?

Elijah Christopher-Dey House

I remember singing to you inside your mothers womb. I remember rubbing her belly, and every time I did, you would move closer to my hand. I knew you could hear my voice and feel my touch, long before you would see the light of this world. I remember seeing you for the first time. You were so small and covered in body fluids. The doctors/nurses took you to be washed, measured and weighed you, and all the while you never really made a sound. I remember the first time I held you in my arms; to my joy, you smiled. I lifted you up to my face and smelled your beautiful skin. My nose to yours, my eyes to yours, I knew my life would never be the same again; it would be forever better. Tears formed in my eyes, as it was a love I'd never experienced. I swear I got you to smile at me the day that you was born lol. I get a little teary eyed now as I think about your first day with me. I could tell that you felt at home with me as I held you. There were many people there to greet you, but when I held you first and it were as if I were holding an angel. You had on one of those hospital caps lol, looking like joy. I have had many joyful moments with you and I want you to know that daddy will always love you. I've loved you long before the light of this world shined upon you.

Learning Love

I often write about love as I've been blessed to experience, taste, touch, smell, give, except, witness and miss it, so it breathes in me and with everything in my lungs it expresses me. Ironically I miss its exposure to me as it is dangled in front of me only to never be had. I learn from it though. Things like words and their meaning. Things like expressions and the things behind them. Things like desires and the reason for them. Things like expectations and why they are placed. Things as simple as a touch or peck on the cheek and the offer applied to them. Forms of love come in many packages and I am thankful that today I learn just what love truly is and how it truly conforms to the many situations that abound me daily. More recently I touched a future of endless joy and possibilities and enjoyed its feel and with its touch came the pause of loves power. Yet today I still dance in loves melody, as I've learned that it's a gift and any pleasure in it should be placed as joy. So I have joyfully watched smiles, dances, touches, kisses, hugs, laughter and even arguments pass over time and I so look forward to today's gifts.

Confusions Light

Confusion use to surround me but now more clearer do I see things. As if trapped by loves blinding light, I could not make sense of the beauty before me. I could feel the design of it's contour and knew that its makeup was created to fit my layout, but for reasons beyond my realm I could not make the pieces of "now", fit the pieces of "yes". It was my bridge of clouds that I felt was my destiny and I was ready to walk it. "Here, grab my hand and follow me", and with that a reach back was left void. Was the bridge placed for me? Would I have enough faith to still trust that it was? Unmoveable and strong was the connection I felt while standing on it. Indeed must I walk it, even if no hand was there to bind mine. What a tall order to fill, but along the way I discovered how easy the journey would be and the clouds to which I once viewed were suddenly clear and there was no more confusion and there stood the light of love and all her beauty was truly defined as - YOU!

My Name is Jade

So there I was sitting in the back seat of a police car. Humiliated as people were walking by to see who was sitting in the police car. I tried to lean down but the officer said, "sit up". It was a feeling I'd never forget but sadly it was a feeling I would experience more times then I would have liked too. I was booked into custody which meant I was finger printed, photoed, searched and had all my property that was on me taken, even my clothes. I was given an orange jump suit and oh, they took my drawls too because they were not white. FYI if you are committing crimes, I'd suggest that you were white underwear just in case you get caught, you can leave them on. After being given a peanut butter sandwich and milk (which I gave away) I, along with others were led to our new "rooms", better known as jail cells. Now I was arrested around 1pm and didn't get into my room until 2am. Yeah, it's a process and I think it's a process that is setup to piss you off.

The next morning, the lights came on and the jail cell doors were unlocked. It was time for breakfast. Locked up for the first time causes your appetite to go away, so I planned to just sit and wait until someone came to bail me out; only I wasn't the only person in my cell and he offered some advice to me, "I'd come get this food cuz. It's gone be a while before they come back around". So I jumped down off my cot and walked toward the line to which the food was being handed out. As I reached the door and looked down at the officer passing the food out, I realized I knew him and he realized the same, but there are moments when you know not to acknowledge such things, and this was definitely not the moment. It was simply an understanding between us. Surprisingly that moment would change my life forever and would be both a positive and negative experience for some time to come.

My name is Jade

All

I live. I learn. I love. I'm thankful that I am allowed to do them all.

Footing In Good

Do you not think that if I am pushed I will not move? Though my footing is grounded and planted in fertile soil, as with anything that brings non-unity, one must be moved. I look not for your push but for your stance. Your stance at my side to catch me if I fall. I look for your words to uplift me when my world is uncertain. I look for your nurture to keep me where I need keeping. If you are not there for these things, my place is darkened. If you are not there my light is dimmer. Don't you know that your presence feeds my soul? Don't you know that your smile freshens my air? Do you not know just how much you've become needed in my universe? Do you not know I pray for your rest? Do you know not that I will always stand in your battle, ready, willing and able to take on anything in an effort to build with you a new something? I place my foot where it is ordered and every foot print I leave behind takes me right back to you. Now, now it's time for those foot prints to walk along-side you.