Life's Book

life has its very unique book, filled with chapters of experiences; some good, some bad and some are just that - some. Be excited and moved by it all, for it defines the essence of who we become. When you read this book, understand that you need to slow down and inhale all of its pages and learn from them. Some you may want to turn back and read again but do not dwell there. Instead, turn the page in expectation of what is still yet to come. Be moved in your movement because this my friend is LIFE and it's filled with many great blessings. See how far your chapter takes you!

Have you seen her?

Have you seen her? Na, you couldn’t have seen her or you wouldn’t be the same. Your walk, talk and experience wouldn’t allow you to remain the same if you’ve witnessed her. Her beautifully brown painted skin would’ve left you craving more. Her wonderful full lips would’ve had you begging for more words. Her frame would’ve had you changing professions. Na, you didn’t see who I saw. Her intelligence would call you into reference. Her cares would’ve left you in delight. Her smile would’ve changed your vision. Heck if you talked to her you’re thoughts would be transformed. You sure you saw the same woman? If you did you’d know that God exists because only He could’ve created such exquisiteness. Her laugh would’ve had you looking for angels. Her saunter would have your world stopped. Ok, so did she touch you; because through her hug you’d be made whole? Her presence would’ve changed your perception. Her scent would’ve called for passion. Her eyes, hair, skin, lips, nose, teeth, hands, ears and the rest of her body would’ve had you thinking artistically. Yeah, naaaa you couldn’t have seen the woman I saw… cause that sweet black woman got me all shook up.

Mama didn't hold me long enough

Mama didn’t hold me long enough. Mama didn’t hold me like an angels star. Let loose to the wind I was blown from this to that. Often landing in places that sucked the fruit from my nectar. Forever drifting in this sea of the world that is filled with pain, dirt, hurt, sex, lies and broken promises. There I would find myself lying in the cracks of life: desperate. There I was hiding, tucked away in the corner trying not to be noticed. Trying not to be stepped on and crushed. So I developed an outer shell; one that would protect me from breaking. Only, my shell would become heartless, careless and destructive to any that came across it. Sad to say but I didn’t even know my shell of protectiveness was not only harming others but it was destroying me internally. You see mama didn’t hold me long enough to teach me the protections I’d need to defend myself. Defend myself from the destructive nature of me. You see all my joy, happiness, pleasure, peace and love were all gifts giving to me from my Father, but the natural would seek to claim all that is good and have it return void onto me. So now, this…this shell of mine that I can no longer see through and recognize the reflection of myself has changed me. Erased are the joys of my past. They lay tucked away in corners of my resting places. No mama didn’t hold me long enough, but mama held me long enough that I may break this shell to reclaim that which was lost, so that now I may see. Return to those dark corners and collect what is mine and my Fathers’. Loose the chains of my mind to reclaim my angels star. Mama didn’t hold me long enough, but my Father did and He has come with me to recover all that was taken!

My name is Jade

You ever get the worst news giving to you through a text message? An era has ended that once captured the imagination of so many. It was seemingly a pure and innocent time in my past that allowed for moments of bliss and joy. Though life would get in the way of promise, and provided circumstance would lead to the inevitable collapse of what once was promised between two individuals, no one would have expected it to come to a conclusion in the form that it did. While I was by no means owed anything by anyone, I still failed to realize that I could be ripped apart by the exclusion of the knowledge that a bomb was soon to go off, right in the center of my ground zero; my heart. There are many famous quotes from many famous people and many great movies…”We hold these truths to be evident that all men are created equal”…”One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”…”Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”…”Truth, you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth”. All of which will live forever in people’s memory that know them and now I too shall have words that will forever live with me. “Jade, I got married to Cory this weekend.” And that was the start of my new life. My name is Jade!

Sarah

Sarah, if there is one thing that I am certain of, it is that your mother loved you from the moment you were created. I can feel, see and hear her in everything you do. I cannot explain it Sarah, it’s something that only angels process; you and mommy are the only people I have ever met that can change any circumstance no matter the task, difficulty, involvement, pressure or need. So baby girl I know there is nothing that is beyond your scoop. You have taught me to believe in and through things like nothing I have ever witnessed. (From dad)
With that I took to the sidelines determined to see things through the eyes of certainty.

I believe that we are all gifted in some form or another and many of us need a little push to pull out that gift, but when it is realized there is nothing that neither can nor will hold us back. My high school teachers you probably laugh to hear me say that…
Sarah, Sarah… Wake up young lady (teacher).
Ah, my freshmen year of high school. Just like many of the other insecure kids that attended our school I was sort of an outcast. I guess you could say that I was missing something I never had but had all the while. Yeah I know it doesn’t make much sense, but in time it will. Jason, Gabby and Mike were my best friends. We’d known each other sense we were toddlers. After my mom died people never wanted to leave my dad alone with me (for whatever reason), so the neighbors would make it a point to stop by for dinners, check-ups and random visits and they would bring their children along as well; which is how I met Jason, Gabby and Mike.
Mike’s father died when Mike was 7 so he sort of became the “pack leader” at his home. Like me he had no siblings. It was just he and his mom. So when his dad passed, he sort of started taking care of his mom which made him into the young responsible, protector teenage man that he is today. He has always looked out for me as well; never letting anyone or anything harm me.
Gabby and Jason are brother and sister. They live across the street from, in a loving home with both parents. I always liked it when their family would come over to visit because seeing them made see something normal.
Well that’s the “gang”. Me, Mike, Jason and Gabby.

My name is Sarah

My name is Sarah and I haven’t been born yet, but I am destined for greatness. I will be born on Feb. 3rd at 3:34am. My dads name is John and he loves to play the guitar and sing to me. I haven’t figured out how he does it, but his songs match’s my mother’s heart rhythms. My mother…. Ah how tender, patient, caring and loving she is. I listen as she talks to my dad and other family members, but when it’s just her and I, she’s different… She likes to sit under the stars and talk to me while rubbing her tummy. (Giggle) I like when she does that, it’s the only time I stick my feet out (giggle). My mom and dad always tell me that I am special and that I will be a gift to the world. I’m not sure what they mean by that, but I love to listen as they tell me their dreams of me.
My father is a high school football coach and my mom is nurse. What a pair they make. They say they are saving lives through mentorship and medicine.
I am not sure how to start the next part of this story, because it is about the beginning and the end of something near and dear to me. I guess I will start with the day my mother came home from work (Feb. 2nd). I remember her crying alone on the porch about something that happened at work. I could hear the tears falling as they left her chin. I’d never heard mom cry before but I knew I did not like it. Daddy, daddy, help, mommies crying, I shouted over and over again. Suddenly my mother screamed for”John”! Right then I knew something was wrong. Dad came running to the door, “What’s wrong” he asked. “I think I am going into labor, my water just burst” mom replied. In a flash bright lights surrounded me and my world was changed forever. I did not know what was going on and it was quite a harrowing experience. Then a soft familiar voice crept through all the other sounds. It was my dad whispering to my mom. He said, “Sarah, you are my rock and I have loved you from the moment you laughed at that silly first joke I told you. You are so beautiful”….”As are you, and you have always been my dream..I love” …….those was the last words my father and I would ever hear from my mother.

Jade

And still I wonder. And still I think. And still I know. And still I am. I am that young teen, young adult who’s mind and dreams of visions take president over some realities. And so I wonder what spark may be lit to bring chaos into my circle. Alone I stand with many whose heart beats that of a lion. Silently I’m thinking king of the mother fucking world and I wish a Negro would, but all the while knowing that this mentality is that of a caged man’s world. Ambiguous defines my thoughts, desires, passions and lively aspirations, but in this place it must lie dormant for fear of its dominance of others. Is this confident? Is this egotistical? Is this cocky? Is this real or fake? If I said past is my present, would you know what I mean? Fear may grip you if you heard my stories, but harmless has a puppy I am – there still rest and awaits the bite of sweet nectar whose taste stays a lifetime. Probably trying to figure out what the hell is being spoken right now; that is unless you are blowed out of your mind, which if that is the case these words are probably doing a rain dance on your brain. So you ask the question, who am I. I am Jade!