Jade

I fell in love at 17 with a beautiful person both inside and out. Her laugh filled my heart. I remember the line I used to catch her attention. We sat next to each other in class. I leaned over to her and said, "there's someone in this class that I like". She replied, "who?" A booming "you", fell from my lips. Who'd know that she'd end up my wife and the mother of my child. From that moment my life was destined to become a world wind of life. Perhaps to much of life at times! We went through the phone stage. You know when you find yourself falling asleep talking on the phone about absolutely nothing. We'd go walking and not even notice that we'd walked for miles. All that mattered was that we were with each other. I slowly became a father at 17, because the love of my young life is a mother to a charming little girl with an overwhelming charm and fun loving spirit. Everyone looked at us as "the couple that would make it". And so we married. So there it is...young love.
It was her in the back of those court rooms I'd been in. It was her that always tried to lift my spirits when so many doors were slammed shut in my face. It was her that made my house a home. It was her that introduced me to love. This could go on and on for page after page. She was my light in a world that was constantly trying to darken around me. With all the good, fun, and light we shared, it wasn't enough to keep us together. It's tricky to be in a place where order has collapsed and roles have changed. Sort of pretending and hoping that some day life will return to normal. Only there will always be a this out of place thing that I'm afraid will never really fit. I've always had the ability to adapt to life's many changes. Finally it has managed to throw me a curve that I can't seem to hit. I even question if I should be allowed to swing. Happiness should be granted to those who seek it. Joy should be experienced for those who find it. Love is given to all of us, only so often we don't lead our heart to love. I'm learning that love is learned, experienced, and given only from God. Without a relationship with Him it cannot truly be known. Many things led to the fall of my marriage, but all are contributed to lack of a relationship with God. My name is Jade, and I need love in my life.