Close Your Eyes and Sing With Me

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style.
And so I came to see him to listen for a while.
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on ...

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He was strumming, oh, he was singing my song.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...
With his song ...

New Color Please

Color me a new color please. I would prefer one that is translucent so that my blemishes will not stand out. I am not talking about my skin color either, but blot me out like a bad stain and make me over again. Erase me and replace me with all those nice Spring colors that everyone loves. Better yet blend me with Spring colors and sprinkle me with the colors of Fall. Wouldn't that be nice to see me painted in luminance? Forgotten would be the cares of yesterday and you'd wish to dwell in the calm I now bring. Marvelous how beauty seems to shape and form itself at the right time, but even more marvelous that even in it, it can be overlooked. Color me bold please. Yeah give me the paints that cannot be overlooked. Give voice to my presence and let it speak.... na, let it sing that exact melody you need. Pull me from something rare and something to keep, as I may pour out to you. Can I be your new background setting? Will you make me your new default color scheme? Color me in a place of new please.

Hurt

In a word

Freak!

Some you lose and some you gain and some of what you lose you gain.

You ever look up at the stars and marvel in the magnitude of it's splendor? Ever find yourself mesmerized at the beauty of it all? I mean you could literally find yourself looking at them for a while. Would you consider it a loss of time if you found yourself caught up in it? Would you find yourself looking up at them again?

I mean stars do offer up many things to one's person - such as comfort, peace, rest, calmness, beauty, amazement and many other things.

Man i was going somewhere with this but, honestly my mind is just not here tonight!

I enjoy my Lord. He places things on my heart and will not let me rest until I express it. As I clicked on the interview with God that is on this page (at the top lol), one thing stood out to me. Free! Everything we do is of our own free will. When it comes to love you cannot force someone to love you but rather you must be open to allowing love in your life. As I have stated before, I have a passion for love. It covers a multitude of sins and has the power to overcome all things. Love is easy to give for some and for some it is easily obtained. Of course love has different meanings to us and is expressed in many ways. My love is music, arts, people and apparently writing (wish it was reading lol). If not for expression who would we be? Who would I be? To freely express my love brings joy to me and it opens me up to new love when it's returned.

Carry these words within the winds of today's air. Fall in a place who's presently in need of it. Lay in the lap of them always. Touch even the doubtful with it's power. Fertilize the life within our lungs so that the exhale will be new and fresh. Season me as the motions of the year. Stay a while longer, please....

I love you

IDK

Nights like this i wish, that rain drops would fall. Perfect chorus tonight. Ok so this is one of those nights where i have nothing particalur to write about. Um,i guess i'm a little lost tonight. Where are those freaking rain drops. Like for real, where are they. Shoot i need sleep like right now. I'm so ready to close out this weekend. Guess that's what i get for missing church today. ok, i'm outta here cause this feels like i'm twittering lol....holla

When You Make It Home

When you make it home, will I still exist within the capacity that I've endured. Will you still look at me with blocked passion in your eyes. Will your touch change. Will your smile dimmer. Will your peace cease to remain in my comfort. Will your language speak an unknown vow. Will your essence be removed. Will your need be amputated. Will your kiss still linger days in your absence. Will your love be void. Will your need to whispered away. Will your dreams be changed.

When you make it home I will exist in your pleasure. I will have no obstacles in my vision that prevents me from getting to you. My touch will burn with passion for you. My smile will not be able to be contained. My rest will be found with you and it will provide comfort to my soul. I will speak a new, new into you. I will need to borrow your essence for a while. You will be my left to my right and your move to my way. My kiss will teach you a good lesson to replace any troubled ones. I will provide you a love that will never bounce. I will not be able to contain my utterance that cries out "love". My dream will never be departed, even in your lost.

When you make it home......

Fly

Let me go so that I may fly
Kiss me away like the fall leaves
Watch me sore as the clouds in the sky
Teach me how to breathe
Lesson me a gift that last a lifetime
Aim me high enough to be seen always
Keep me near and enjoy me like fine wine
Talk with meaning and love me in good ways
Read me like a classic novel
Push back when need be
Open up so that I may not grovel
See me standing in front of you on bended knee
Color me bad like ending spring delight
Take me before I end
Come with me as I take you to new heights
Wake next to me daily and we'll do this all over again

To Me

Don't cheat yourself on anything. Go for what you want and get an understanding of what "it" is before making a decission. Live for Christ and for you and know that nothing happens for nothing but rather there is a purpose for all. When you cannot make sense of the situation seek advice from wisdom and wisdom will lead you right but understand the wisdom you seek must be covered. Enjoy today :)

My Name is Jade

"Dude, I got something I need you to do. Do you still have your CDL and access to a truck?"

Telling a story from a point of view that allows others to know exactly what you mean is not always easy, but I'll do what I can. Actually, I'll try to tell you from my view.

There I was, yet again about to be involved in something that could take my freedom away. What the hell am I thinking and why does this keep happening shit! Um, but there could really be some money in this if I roll with it.
Ok, so if I'm in, I'm doing it my way. I have a list of things that must be done before anything is touched or setup. Number 1, I need to know how many people are involved. 2. I meet only you. 3. I will set the date and time so I will need to know the location of this pick up and which trailer I need to look for. I know it's early in the game but get me that trailer information. 4. I roll alone! 5. I will need to know the address that the unload will take place. 6. Unloading this trailer will take time so I will need 4 people that you trust to be there to get this done ASAP. Those are 6 major request that must be followed to the letter. I need that information by Wednesday and I will roll on Friday. It must be ready by 9pm Friday. If any of this is not ready, you know I will bounce.

If there is one thing I know, it is that you must cover all your bases when conducting business. Of course me getting a truck would not be an issue (for reasons you may learn at a later post), but I had to make sure that the pick up location would be secure. FYI most shipping locations are very secure, so docking into a trailer at night is not as simple as plug and play. There's a process that is typically followed. I would basically have 1 day to make sure we wouldn't have any issues. 1st step, go to the shipping house and somehow get them to show me around the facility; which by the way was really simple. I mean they showed me around everything, including security or lack there of. Once I figured out how I would get my truck onto the property I had to figure out where the trailer would be. This was simple too because the person showing me around took me right to the trailer itself, only at the time it was empty. Wow, getting my merchandise would truly be a piece of cake, so now my next stop would be the unloading location which happened to be right in the hood. Of course people knew me and my car so I couldn't just roll up and scope the place like that. After all if you don't know this, people in the hood are nosey as hell and will walk up to you and ask what you're doing. Now they won't call the popo but they will ask. As you can imagine, I wouldn't be able to say, my name is Jade.

Writer Like No Other

The title to this blog is "Writer like "NO" other" and in many ways I am just that. Some of the posts are random thoughts, real life situations, non-fiction and whatever else comes to mind. Shoot I need to carry my laptop around with me everywhere I go because I often have random things pop into my head that I'd like to write about. I tend not to read what I post so there are some grammical errors throughout, but I don't wish to change that because it's part of the "NO" in NO other. There are many things that inspire me but the number thing that inspires me to write is love. Love has such an amazing ability. I believe that with love anything is possible. Even things you would not expect to be. After all it is the very thing that many of us truly seek (one way or another). Ok, i'm done with this post. I just felt the urge to write this, so here it is. I hope you enjoy reading it :) and if you don't, I gotta ask, what is wrong with you? j/k (sort of).

Dear John Letter

Dear you that smiles and brightens my world. Dear you that looks at me and somehow ease's my concerns. Dear you whose touch stops my breath. Dear you who makes a crowd disappear just by walking into a room. Dear you whom I'd wait a life time for. Dear you who's laugh brings a smile to my face. Dear you who's hug lets me know that I'm good. Dear you who's voice warms me. Dear you who's walk causes my head to tilt. Dear you who's loving is tremendously deep, wet, nice, fitted and needed. Dear you who's eyes tell tales of a story book. Dear you who's smart. Dear you who's kind. Dear you who's rare. Dear you who's hand I'd like to hold forever. Dear you that when you finally let lose and allows the connection. Dear you who's cheeks are so kissable (both). Dear you who's being missed right now. Dear you who's hair I'd like to play in right now. Dear you who's skin I can smell and taste right now. Dear you I'd give up a million dollars too. Dear you I hope you smiled at this. Dear you I don't want to spend another day without you. Dear you, you are loved and missed. Dear you, do you know i'm talking about you?

Yesterday Vs. Today

You can't live in your today if you are holding on to something from your yesterday.

Talk About Blessed

Man talk about blessed and make sure you through me in that conversation. I know that He covers me daily from weapons formed to take me out and from weapons I manifest myself. He provides for me in ways that leave me in aw. He heals me even before the pain. He talks and teaches me lessons, some easy and some difficult, but during His talks, He shows me through vivid visions. He still gives me free will to choose my path, but always taps me on the shoulder to remind me of the correct path to which He desires for me. He surrounds me with purity even when I turn away from it. He opens doors that were suppose to be closed according to man. He gives me favor for no reason. He carries me when I can do know more. He replenishes me when I all poured out. He heals me long before the illness. Mention His love for me during that conversation, but make sure you mention you as well because He loves you just as He loves me.

Un-removable Stain

Slowly she entered my thoughts and left an un-removable stain that I would enjoy for a moment or two. She slid on my issue and wiped away the sorrow of yesterday. Her laugh is recorded in my delightful place, to be played back at moments notice. Even her deepest unexpressed thoughts linger amongst my subconsciousness. A second has passed and I've shared my sentience with her and all that breathes within me echoes for more time. How favored am I to have held my gift of future in my arms and witnessed to it, the power that is? As with each passing moment this stain grows into something so beautiful that only God could have made. With time does the watering of it's seed become revelant to all that is bound by it. I cannot, nor do I desire to escape it's harvest of purity, peace, joy and love, but rather I bathe in it's splender. I will slowly allow it to settle into place as the foundation to my ramble and rejoice in the love that slowly entered my thoughts and left a un-removable stain on my heart.

My Name is Jade

"Pull your car into the garage and close it. Jimmy is upstairs waiting." I calmly head up the stairs, following the instruction that was just given to me. I make it outside and think WTF! Why would they have me walking into this freaking situation and they know this is no longer me! Would I be wrong to hope in the car and roll the hell out? I mean look, I didn't sign up for his crap! Shoot I can't roll out because obviously this car is loaded. Fuck it, let me pull it in. Just like that I was tapping the horn to have the door opened. Now understand, when this door opened, the average person would have probably pooped their pants because you know trouble when you see it. None-the-less I allow the door to close behind me and no sooner than I step out, Jimmy and 2 other men begin taking the car apart. Ok, ok for those of you that have never seen dope before you would have been truly in aw of the amount of dope that was pulled from this car. Shoot even I was like holy cow (in my head). I stopped counting the kilo's (keys, birds, etc.) after one of the guys went to get a wheel barrow for the back yard. This was enough blow to get us all locked up for a long time. See what you may not realize is that cocaine produces real time. The kind of time that yo boys snitch for.
I began to understand the true situation after a while and knew that the count had better be correct or I was not going home that night. Ok, now this part was kinda funny to me, as Jimmy used a toy walkie talkie to communicate with the home owner in the basement. The thing about toy walkie talkie's is that the reception is poor and you have to keep repeating yourself. You had to be there. Anywho, everyone that was in the basement finally made their way to the garage where it was all smiles. The homeowner looked at me and said, "good job" and tossed me a set of keys. "This is yours until I call". Just like that a major deal was done and me and the passenger that was with me on the way, rolled out in a mercedes E-class.
There was so much I had to say to my passenger but I knew I needed to get back to my area first. I must say that the drive was heart wrenching and long and I didn't know what exactly I was going to do about this situation. I mean 1, I was known to do things alone and not seen and now there I was amongst several faces conducting business that could take away my freedom overnight, all because this idiot next to me took me along on this flipping ride. Fuck it, I had to pull over to confront this dude. As soon as he heard the turn signal click, he knew it was on and uttered, "please keep going, I had no idea". I read people very well, and know bs when I see/hear it and I knew he wasn't feeding me a line of the crap.

My name is Jade

Is God For Rent

Is God for rent Sunday's and in time of need? Is He meant to be used when we are in need? Is He suppose to come to our aid after we have ignored Him in regards to the very thing that we are now trying to rent Him for? Did He not supply direction to this situation already? When He says that He will supply all your needs according to his riches, did He mean only when you are ready to rent Him? When He said that His rod and staff shall comfort you all the days of your life and that peace shall dwell with you, did He mean if you follow Him or is it ok to Rent that peace and comfort only as YOU need it? When he said forgive your trespassor and/or not to judge, did He mean sometimes it's ok to not do so? I could ask these questions for the rest of my days and the answers would remain the same. Instead I'll close with a question to myself; did He die for me to use Him as a rental?

Love is Kind

Love is Giving

GPS

Please enter the state in which you are headed. Please enter the city. Please enter the address of your destination. Please select if you'd like the shortest distance or faster arrival time. Please put your seat belt on.

Start out going west on Monday for the next 8 hours.
Turn Left on Tuesday for the next 8 hours.
Turn Right on Wednesday and take it for the next 8 hours.
When possible make a U-turn on Thursday and follow it for 8 hours.
Make the next right on Friday and you will arrive at your destination in 8 hours on the right.

How was the trip? Did you see anything worth while? That was a lot of time, what'd you gain? Are you going back the same way you came and are you gonna take the same way next week? If so, for how long?

Dear Mirror

You better watch your back and watch who you're talking too. I suggest you think about it before you get jacked up. You can go there if you want to but it may not be what's best. I done see what you got and I know who you wit and I can tell you that that ain't goin be enough. I'm just letting you know and you know i'm right!

Close Your Soul

Close your soul, as I see your inner makings. Brilliant measures that fill your makings have me twisted in whirlwinds of passions that cannot be contained through any form except presence. Alleviate my thoughts that rest upon this canvas of affection. Cleanse my secret self of those things of which I have seen but leave a scent of it's touch with me all the days of my life, so that I may encounter it's peace at moments notice. I've been exposed to the chemistry of you and I am forever drawn to it's assembly that's harmonious to my beat that sustains me. You have poured out like a rivers roar whose vibration is felt a great distance away. What is this thing that mine eyes have seen that has become so profound it inspires creation of poetic thoughts? No need to think about it, I'll tell you... It's the inner makings of you!

Experience

That of which you do not see coming will be the one that changes all. Will you reflect on the experience gained? Will you stay in those past moments? Or will you face them with understanding that nothing is by chance? We turn down roads we've yet to travel because our minds cusiousity eluminates the GPS inside us that shouts what the mind truly wants. If we hadn't taken the uncharted path of which is now a part of us, would we not have gained a different view or a new perspective of beauty that lies beneath? Dance in your experiences, they are yours. Refresh your soul in the flavor of your life.

I Don't Feel Like It

I don't feel like writing, but an expression comes in many forms. I don't feel like being here, but the present unwrapped cannot be enjoyed. I don't want to think about her, but my world is tilted and I'm losing trackion. I don't want another lesson, but knowledge grips me. I don't want something else, but I don't want something else! I don't want go there, but there my hope rest. I don't want another moment to pass without you knowing that I love you, but you already know that i do. I don't want to write anything today, but I have to expose my being, by being me. I'm stopping now because I don't feel like writing.

Suicide

Suicide is a real thing. It affects many people around you rather you realize it or not. I am no doctor and I have no formal training in regards to depression or suicide, but I would like to offer up advice to everyone; listen to those around you. I mean listen to their everything. Always speak life into their life. If you hear sadness or pain, talk about it. Ask them if they are ok, but in order to get them to open up, they will have to know that you are asking because you care. You have to be sincere in your listening. Their very life could depend on it.

I lost my cousin in the tragic club death in Chicago. He was trampled to death after a panic inside the club and tragically 20 other young adults were killed as well. I think about him a lot but I also think about his mother, my aunt Mary. I can feel her brokenness every time I see her. I can see her sparkle has dimmed a lot. I am sure there have been moments where she has felt that the pain would never leave and that it would be easier to simply rest, but by the grace of God she still stands in the gap. I have failed her because I have not asked her how she is doing. I haven't asked in part because I already know but perhaps she would still like someone to just listen. Sometimes I think she can read my thoughts and that she'll just know that I'm here for her but I cannot trust in that and I will do better.

Love Replacements

A few words that can be used to describe love:

Adulation
Affection
Allegiance
Amity
Amorousness
Amour
Appreciation
Ardency
Ardor
Attachment
Delight
Devotedness
Enchantment
Fervor
Relish
Rapture
Piety
Passion
Zeal
Weakness
Partiality

Um, I am not sure if those are valid though. They seem temporal.

Open Your Windows

Open your windows and take in the breath of life. Enjoy the endless moonlight that covers our voids. Count as many stars as you can until you run out of numbers. Enjoy the night sounds of the air. Sit or stand and marvel at the beauty in it all. Find yourself lucky enough to see a shooting star. Locate the big and little dipper in the Heavens above. Notice the calm of the hour. Let these things entice you to remain still in it and reflect of your gifts. Some small, some big, some you can see, feel and touch, but rejoice in those that can only be experienced. So many empiricism's are presented this night and with any gift, it is meant to be shared. I share this with you tonight in hopes that you slow down and take in all that is around you. Sink into the purity of the nights soul. Rest in the symphony amongst you. Love in the dance of life. This is an opportunity, so go ahead and inhale and breathe a new breath of life.

My Name is Jade

No more than 3 seconds of darkness had passed when the lights came back on, but a lot can happen in 3 seconds and when they turned on all I heard was a booming question bellowing through the staircase; “What the fuck are you doing?” I looked to the left of me and could see my driver was unconscious and being carried deeper into the basement by 2 men that seemingly came from no where. The other passenger in my car was the one that shouted the question and no sooner than he asked, the “home-owner” replied, “Would you really like to find out?” Keep in mind I'm still standing on the last step observing. I noticed that the others that came in the other car didn't have a look of confusion, but rather it was a look of confirmation. They knew why, what was being done, was being done. The only people that were clueless were my driver, the passenger and of course myself, but unlike the passenger I know when not to open to my mouth and to remain calm. I could sense the tension around me and I was hoping that the passenger would answer the question correctly. I am not sure if it was fear or confusion that prevented him from uttering a word, but it was exactly how he needed to respond to the question before him. “O.K, gentlemen shall we get down to business?”

How did I get myself back in this mess? What exactly is the business we are getting into? My name is Jade.

B-Day

Another day, another year! To the Angel that I know, I say Happy Birthday to you. 365 days have passed since your last BIG occasion and it represents a change in your life. This is the year you become stronger and boulder and opportunities will come to you and they will knock until you answer. You shall have much to smile at this year. Some peoples birthday signifies things like travel, prosperity, increase, and wellness, and I know that this year yours happens to be NEW. Not for reasons you may think either, but NEW is definitely headed your way throughout the year. Enjoy it all and again Happy Birthday to you!

TD - H

Brown skin, swan like elegance, charm of brilliance and a smile that even the birds have a special melody they sing when they see it. Hands of hope, eyes of rest and hair that winds smile at the opportunity to blow it. Lips of sweet cream, laugh of spring, so warm that angels are moved to sing. The move of her dance will put you in a trance if given the way to her gift. The tease that she flashes with such pretty eye-lashes leaves you needing more. Her back is smooth, soft and silky to the way of her song, but in order to hear it you must take your time and the waves shall gush out like broken bottles of wine. My goodness her shoulders, collar bone, arms, legs and toes are nothing short of delightful and if you didn't hear me, let me say it again, yes her toes are nothing short of delightful :). Her chest and stomach will cause me to stop writing because that visual is way to exciting!

Brother King

Finally you have become a man. God fearing, husband, brother, friend, father and head of your household. Here you stand strong in your rightful place as King to this time and place. So profound are your footsteps for what you shall leave behind will be purposeful and timeless. Black man, you have to know how needed you have been. You had to be overwhelmed at the destruction of your lineage. You had to wonder when the insanity of self committed violence against your kind would cease. You had to wonder where the fathers were all those years. You had to wonder who would protect our daughters. You are now a nation of Kings for which moves throughout the land. Your reign shall last an eternity and become the fabric of our being. I'm so glad you picked up this mantle and are carrying it well. It must be settling to know that our brothers and sisters that have been lost over the years did not perish in vain. For every black male that hope was lost on and he in it, we now have you. For every black woman that looked for love in all the wrong things and places, we now say, no more. Teacher, provider, protector, leader, giver and knight in shining armor are you! So nice to have you at the dinner table. So nice to have you helping with homework. So nice to see you in the stands at the games. So nice to see you walk her down the aisle. Do you know what it means to have you in your rightful place? I know you've faced many remonstrance in order to arrive at this place and my heart weeps of your past but I am thankful that you pressed on. My King, my friend, my brother thank you! You had to wonder whether or not we would put down the weed, alcohol, guns, crack, abuse, joblessness, babies all over the place with different women, homelessness, jail, no education and the self given name that represents weak (nigger). You had to wonder when someone would stand up and say STOP! Did you know it would be you? Did you know that you had the power to stop our daughters, sons, brothers and sisters from such demise? Did you know that all you'd have to do is step in place? Heck did you even know you had a place? How did you make it through all those obstacles? It had to be God! He had to keep you safe. He knew we needed you. He knew the power in you. He protected you from so much. Even when you did face challenges, He guided you through them. My King I am so glad that you are home...Here in your rightful place! Welcome home BROTHER!

I Wasn't Prepared

I wasn't prepared for this. Strong, wise, street handled, women educated and smooth stay calm under any situation personality and still I wasn't prepared for this. Suppose to see the bus coming, right? It's huge enough, right? It makes enough noise, right? It's bright enough, right? It's color stands out, right? It has lights and a stop sign that flashes for goodness sake, and still I wasn't prepared for this. It slid around the corner unseen and unheard this day. Funny thing is it wasn't even a school day so it shouldn't have been out that day. I didn't think that there was anything unnatural when it stopped in front of me and opened the door and said, “get in”. The ride was nice and smooth. Shoot it even had a nice sound system with TV's throughout. The wheels were sitting on spinning dubs and the windows were limo tinted black. Darn it I didn't care where it was headed, all I know is, I was in for the ride. It was a smooth ride too, until it hit a pothole. We must have been speeding because I was tossed from my seat and hit my head on the roof. It hurt like hell too. Here I am laying on the floor and the bus keeps going, seemingly distracted by the road in front of it. Do I yell “stop, I'm hurt”? Na, I'm good! I've been around the block before so let me get my butt up and get back in my seat but this time let me put my seat belt on so that I'll be prepared the next time we hit a snag. You may be wondering why I'm not getting off the bus and the answer is, I can't because this bus was made just for me. It has everything I like and need and it came to my home to pick me up at exactly the right time. While I wasn't prepared for round 1, I most certainly will be prepared for round 2, 3, 4 and whatever else this bus has in store for me.

Called

To those that called to serve, blessed be the footprints you'll leave behind. Your words are to be transforming to men hearts. Your ability to renew a broken vow shall be your power. Through your touch blessings will fall. Be careful of your thoughts for even they have power. Your tongue shall be used to dance up the good in all things. Celebrate the Kingdom at hand for it's time is near. Stand strong through your storms speak a calmness across the land. Trust in His power and in His word and hide them within your heart that you might not sin against them. Teach like none before you, yet follow the tracks that have been laid for your trail. Walk by faith and not what you may see, for your eyes may tempt you to fall off course. Bring others unto you so that they may rest in His presence. Listen daily. Do daily. Pray daily. This is my goal, this is my future! Now watch Him work a new thing through me. Dig in with me and hold on tight and enjoy the ride with me. It's going to be a great ride, unlike non other.

Under my Skin

She gets under my skin in a way that keeps me tossing and turning and yet I remain optimistic that I will get her. She runs away from the closeness that brings joy and I keep chasing regardless. She places limitations on me and still I try to climb that wall. She tells me never and I ignore those words and press on. She says to give up but determination and desire drives me to not. She says you'll always be my good friend and yet she stays in my future as my queen and I stay in place as her king to her earth. She says her heart is elsewhere and I keep searching to find it, to place it in a better place. She says she'll stay away and yet I awake with joy of her presence that awaits me. She says I will no longer kiss you but I still feel her lips upon me. She says not to wait for her, and I do no such thing – instead I stand for her. She fights me daily on every issue and still I smile in her fight. She does the opposite of what you'd expect and yet my adjustments are easily made to accommodate what may be. She wonders why her and I wonder why not. She wonders if what I do and say is real, and to that I say trust in the joy that surrounds me when you are near. She wonders why I put up with her and it is because I already love my future with her. She says that I am confident and I say it is because I know that I know that I know. She says it is scary and I say I will do everything in my power to comfort you and that you can rest and trust in that. She says NO daily and yet I keep asking in hope, of which I am a prisoner of.

So why would I not give up and move on to the next best thing? Here let me explain it like this:

She is all that is and can be good. The passion that burns when near her calms the sea in my world. Her beauty is not only outward and inner but it moves and flows throughout her. I can feel her from across a crowed room without seeing her. My lungs pause in an effort to catch up to my heart that races when I am with her. I don't need to have sex with her but to make love to her is like spring at it's peak. I delight in her future endeavors because she will be blessed in all that she does. Pause for a second and think of someone that makes you want to be better – she drives that in me. Her laughter causes an uncontrollable smile upon my face and her hurts rips me apart. There is nothing that I cannot do with her by my side and not to sound cheesy but behind every good man is a good woman. She is seed to my mud and when she is planted in my soil, our harvest will be abundant and fresh. To say that she is smart would not be enough, nor are the words that I've used thus far to describe her. The curve of her waist, the shape of her hips and humps of her chest, down to the sway of her gaunt, to the deepness in her eyes, she personifies beauty. Rest is what she has for me. Joy remains wrapped up in her bosom. So when asked, why not move on to the next best thing, you now know that she is my next best thing and so much more. I may her her and I may not, yet I worry not of those things. I am too busy looking to find ways to win her heart that belongs to me. wink wink

My Name is Jade

Here I find myself rolling in the back seat of rimmed up, smoked out tinted 760 BMW, followed by a black Bentley Continental. It's 11pm on a weekday and I'm being driven by 2 men in the front seat. Both are armed. Can't help but think, “how did I get myself back in this situation?”. I've been out of a certain type of lifestyle for some time now, and yet here I am being driven around again, only this time I am not sure what we are going to do or where we are headed. Heck I don't even know who the hell is following us. Weird thing is, I'm good! It's like being back in a position that I was born to be in, only not exactly. I'm reminded of Biggie Smalls lyrics, “bad boys move in silence”, and suddenly I'm game for whatever we are rolling into. Um, is the trunk loaded with powder? Are we headed to check some fool? Are we just making stops? Fuck it! I'm in!

We finally arrive at a home. We pull into the driveway and the car following parks in the street. I swear I can give you an exact detail description of every home and car on that street. My driver gets out and goes to ring the bell. I can tell from his stance that I should be alert. The porch lights come on and the door opens. My driver gives the nod for us to come in with him. I pause for a second to allow for everyone that was meant to go in to get out the cars. “Jade, long time my dude”, shouted one of the passengers getting out of the Bentley. I give the classic black man's nod and we had inside. Keep in mind I have no idea what we are doing here, but you gotta know my brain is as alert as an idiot in a cage with a lion. The homeowner (I suppose he owned it) greeting everyone with a hand shake but I noticed that he did not say his name. We followed him through the sitting area and through the kitchen (I could smell pasta and bread too) and headed downstairs. There were 6 of us altogether walking downstairs with me at the end of the line. Something is not sitting well with me. I can't put my finger on it though, but it is definitely something wrong....One-by-one we reach the bottom of the staircase and just as I am about to hit the bottom.......the lights go out!

My name is Jade

Transforming Smile

Thing is you transform me into something new, something un-found and something I'd like to share. Thing is your smile uplifts my mornings. Thing is the sound of your voice delights my soul. Thing is, I have to repeat that last sentence cause your voice truly does delight my soul. Thing is I'm up early in the morning writing this cause I'm thinking about you and I'm smiling. Thing is I'm enjoying winning, working, trying, hoping, wanting, thinking and praying for your affection that I'll suffer long. Thing is I'm having trouble finding the exact words that describe you. Beautiful is too simple. Kind is too unjust. Giving is not enough. Thoughtful is too hidden. Nice is too mediocre. Thing is your kiss is strong enough to move my mountains, and your touch forgets all. Thing is your eyes touch my space and stops my heart. Thing is, in a room full of people all I see is you. Thing is you make me need to be a better man. Thing is I didn't see you coming but it was not my vision to which you were placed in front of me. Thing is I just paused and thought of something you did and smiled. Thing is my momma should meet you. Thing is your skin has me craving caramel. Thing is I'm suppose to keep these things to myself but I feel the urge and need to express them somehow. Thing is if I had only an ounce of these things from you, it'd be enough to spread love around the world....TWICE. Thing is you transform me into something new!

God

To say that God has been good to me, is a true understatement! Trust me, He has looked out for me, protected me, and saved me from myself so many times. Saying thank you is simply not enough.

Candy Bar

Surprised is where you might find your heart. You might be left to wonder how you arrived at this destination so quickly. Words are formulated to express thoughts and give meaning to experiences, yet often times they cannot fully convey matters of the heart. It is the beat of our day and the magic of our lives. It is our gift that continues to be unwrapped throughout our time here. Around every corner there’s potential for what I will call joy and this particular corner that I have turned, I surprisingly have found it wrapped in a nice, sweet chocolate candy bar package. This bar is silky smooth with a surprise at the end. It has the ability to melt in your mouth with a gush of flavor that leaves you in a wow state of mind. I can smile from the thought of it. I can dream thinking of it. I enjoy it so much that the entire flavor of it leaves my heart graving for more. I’ve been left to search for words that truly define the need to have it with me daily, yet none justify how deeply the desire for it is. Sadly this bar is not available in my town, but rest assured I will petition for it daily until it is obtainable just for me! Yup- All this for a sweet beautiful chocolate bar that surprised not only me, but has managed to steal my heart!

Let go

I love her and I wish I could shout it to the world but it's not meant to be so I have to let her go.

Not easy

Love is not easily obtained and sometimes it takes you coming out of yourself to
see it.

Mic

Music is my world. It uplifts me. It transforms me. It takes the world of my cares
away. It strengthens me. It brings a new me out. It heals me. It calms me. It
moves me (literally). It is needed in my life. It is my voice. It is me. All I
need is 1 mic!

Past Love

Her song is louder than a marching band. Her beauty reveals that there must be a
God. The thought of her causes stars to shine brighter. Her kiss is my dream.
Her eyes speak of love. The beat of her heart plays my jam. Her touch raises the
hair on my neck. Her embraces is what I need.

For Her

Its vibration creeps deep into the pores of your soul and forever changes you. The taste of it captures your thoughts and keeps you bound to its passion. The call of its scent whispers to your nose. Delight in its presence for it truly is a rare experience. The beat of its core can be heard in silence. Take your time and measure its beauty. Words can’t define it, nor can they describe it. It is elusive but obtainable when open to the gift it brings. “They write movies of this”. The sway of its essence causes unimaginable pleasure even from a distance. Its dance grabs your rhythm and changes your vibe. Can you feel it? Can you taste it? Can you touch it? Would you keep it if you could? Its distance brings worlds together. “No mountain to high. No river too wide” to keep it away from itself. It draws closer when mirrored unto itself. Nothing, I mean nothing can detour its arrival. Time stands still for it. Silence speaks to it and it speaks silent nothings to its beneficiary. It’s confident in its presence and stands the test of time. Can you feel it? Can you illustrate it now? I like to its everything, – LOVE. Rest in it.

Life's Book

life has its very unique book, filled with chapters of experiences; some good, some bad and some are just that - some. Be excited and moved by it all, for it defines the essence of who we become. When you read this book, understand that you need to slow down and inhale all of its pages and learn from them. Some you may want to turn back and read again but do not dwell there. Instead, turn the page in expectation of what is still yet to come. Be moved in your movement because this my friend is LIFE and it's filled with many great blessings. See how far your chapter takes you!

Have you seen her?

Have you seen her? Na, you couldn’t have seen her or you wouldn’t be the same. Your walk, talk and experience wouldn’t allow you to remain the same if you’ve witnessed her. Her beautifully brown painted skin would’ve left you craving more. Her wonderful full lips would’ve had you begging for more words. Her frame would’ve had you changing professions. Na, you didn’t see who I saw. Her intelligence would call you into reference. Her cares would’ve left you in delight. Her smile would’ve changed your vision. Heck if you talked to her you’re thoughts would be transformed. You sure you saw the same woman? If you did you’d know that God exists because only He could’ve created such exquisiteness. Her laugh would’ve had you looking for angels. Her saunter would have your world stopped. Ok, so did she touch you; because through her hug you’d be made whole? Her presence would’ve changed your perception. Her scent would’ve called for passion. Her eyes, hair, skin, lips, nose, teeth, hands, ears and the rest of her body would’ve had you thinking artistically. Yeah, naaaa you couldn’t have seen the woman I saw… cause that sweet black woman got me all shook up.

Mama didn't hold me long enough

Mama didn’t hold me long enough. Mama didn’t hold me like an angels star. Let loose to the wind I was blown from this to that. Often landing in places that sucked the fruit from my nectar. Forever drifting in this sea of the world that is filled with pain, dirt, hurt, sex, lies and broken promises. There I would find myself lying in the cracks of life: desperate. There I was hiding, tucked away in the corner trying not to be noticed. Trying not to be stepped on and crushed. So I developed an outer shell; one that would protect me from breaking. Only, my shell would become heartless, careless and destructive to any that came across it. Sad to say but I didn’t even know my shell of protectiveness was not only harming others but it was destroying me internally. You see mama didn’t hold me long enough to teach me the protections I’d need to defend myself. Defend myself from the destructive nature of me. You see all my joy, happiness, pleasure, peace and love were all gifts giving to me from my Father, but the natural would seek to claim all that is good and have it return void onto me. So now, this…this shell of mine that I can no longer see through and recognize the reflection of myself has changed me. Erased are the joys of my past. They lay tucked away in corners of my resting places. No mama didn’t hold me long enough, but mama held me long enough that I may break this shell to reclaim that which was lost, so that now I may see. Return to those dark corners and collect what is mine and my Fathers’. Loose the chains of my mind to reclaim my angels star. Mama didn’t hold me long enough, but my Father did and He has come with me to recover all that was taken!

My name is Jade

You ever get the worst news giving to you through a text message? An era has ended that once captured the imagination of so many. It was seemingly a pure and innocent time in my past that allowed for moments of bliss and joy. Though life would get in the way of promise, and provided circumstance would lead to the inevitable collapse of what once was promised between two individuals, no one would have expected it to come to a conclusion in the form that it did. While I was by no means owed anything by anyone, I still failed to realize that I could be ripped apart by the exclusion of the knowledge that a bomb was soon to go off, right in the center of my ground zero; my heart. There are many famous quotes from many famous people and many great movies…”We hold these truths to be evident that all men are created equal”…”One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”…”Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”…”Truth, you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth”. All of which will live forever in people’s memory that know them and now I too shall have words that will forever live with me. “Jade, I got married to Cory this weekend.” And that was the start of my new life. My name is Jade!

Sarah

Sarah, if there is one thing that I am certain of, it is that your mother loved you from the moment you were created. I can feel, see and hear her in everything you do. I cannot explain it Sarah, it’s something that only angels process; you and mommy are the only people I have ever met that can change any circumstance no matter the task, difficulty, involvement, pressure or need. So baby girl I know there is nothing that is beyond your scoop. You have taught me to believe in and through things like nothing I have ever witnessed. (From dad)
With that I took to the sidelines determined to see things through the eyes of certainty.

I believe that we are all gifted in some form or another and many of us need a little push to pull out that gift, but when it is realized there is nothing that neither can nor will hold us back. My high school teachers you probably laugh to hear me say that…
Sarah, Sarah… Wake up young lady (teacher).
Ah, my freshmen year of high school. Just like many of the other insecure kids that attended our school I was sort of an outcast. I guess you could say that I was missing something I never had but had all the while. Yeah I know it doesn’t make much sense, but in time it will. Jason, Gabby and Mike were my best friends. We’d known each other sense we were toddlers. After my mom died people never wanted to leave my dad alone with me (for whatever reason), so the neighbors would make it a point to stop by for dinners, check-ups and random visits and they would bring their children along as well; which is how I met Jason, Gabby and Mike.
Mike’s father died when Mike was 7 so he sort of became the “pack leader” at his home. Like me he had no siblings. It was just he and his mom. So when his dad passed, he sort of started taking care of his mom which made him into the young responsible, protector teenage man that he is today. He has always looked out for me as well; never letting anyone or anything harm me.
Gabby and Jason are brother and sister. They live across the street from, in a loving home with both parents. I always liked it when their family would come over to visit because seeing them made see something normal.
Well that’s the “gang”. Me, Mike, Jason and Gabby.

My name is Sarah

My name is Sarah and I haven’t been born yet, but I am destined for greatness. I will be born on Feb. 3rd at 3:34am. My dads name is John and he loves to play the guitar and sing to me. I haven’t figured out how he does it, but his songs match’s my mother’s heart rhythms. My mother…. Ah how tender, patient, caring and loving she is. I listen as she talks to my dad and other family members, but when it’s just her and I, she’s different… She likes to sit under the stars and talk to me while rubbing her tummy. (Giggle) I like when she does that, it’s the only time I stick my feet out (giggle). My mom and dad always tell me that I am special and that I will be a gift to the world. I’m not sure what they mean by that, but I love to listen as they tell me their dreams of me.
My father is a high school football coach and my mom is nurse. What a pair they make. They say they are saving lives through mentorship and medicine.
I am not sure how to start the next part of this story, because it is about the beginning and the end of something near and dear to me. I guess I will start with the day my mother came home from work (Feb. 2nd). I remember her crying alone on the porch about something that happened at work. I could hear the tears falling as they left her chin. I’d never heard mom cry before but I knew I did not like it. Daddy, daddy, help, mommies crying, I shouted over and over again. Suddenly my mother screamed for”John”! Right then I knew something was wrong. Dad came running to the door, “What’s wrong” he asked. “I think I am going into labor, my water just burst” mom replied. In a flash bright lights surrounded me and my world was changed forever. I did not know what was going on and it was quite a harrowing experience. Then a soft familiar voice crept through all the other sounds. It was my dad whispering to my mom. He said, “Sarah, you are my rock and I have loved you from the moment you laughed at that silly first joke I told you. You are so beautiful”….”As are you, and you have always been my dream..I love” …….those was the last words my father and I would ever hear from my mother.

Jade

And still I wonder. And still I think. And still I know. And still I am. I am that young teen, young adult who’s mind and dreams of visions take president over some realities. And so I wonder what spark may be lit to bring chaos into my circle. Alone I stand with many whose heart beats that of a lion. Silently I’m thinking king of the mother fucking world and I wish a Negro would, but all the while knowing that this mentality is that of a caged man’s world. Ambiguous defines my thoughts, desires, passions and lively aspirations, but in this place it must lie dormant for fear of its dominance of others. Is this confident? Is this egotistical? Is this cocky? Is this real or fake? If I said past is my present, would you know what I mean? Fear may grip you if you heard my stories, but harmless has a puppy I am – there still rest and awaits the bite of sweet nectar whose taste stays a lifetime. Probably trying to figure out what the hell is being spoken right now; that is unless you are blowed out of your mind, which if that is the case these words are probably doing a rain dance on your brain. So you ask the question, who am I. I am Jade!

Fair

What is fair? What is acceptance? I ponder these things tonight as I sit in this room alone. I have often needed or felt the need to be accepted, even though I’ve never been any but accepted. This thirst for fairness can affect every aspect of a person’s life and the very actions he or she may take in this walk of life. Make no mistake that the soil from which we arrive and grow in will play a major role in all orders of our lives. We must have fertile ground if we are to grow. This applies even if our start began in soiled land. It is fair that we look back on past events that laid the foundation to our make-up, but we must accept what we see in doing so, and look forward to fresh starts. It is ok and fair to want and need acceptance of fresh things. Seek these things as you walk, and perhaps more important, share all the knowledge that you gain from this walk of acceptance. Neither we, nor I can change past dealings, and we are to be careful not to remain there with them. It is fair that we accept those things and move forward to better ideals and all that’s promised to us all.

Prince

I close my day out and lay down to rest and watch t.v. Only I’m compelled by what surrounds me. I rest under fabrics fit for a prince, with Egyptian rare shades at the windows. A table at my feet, with a bronze lamp of a man holding an umbrella. White lilies drape over the edges of the table. At my head rest another lamp of a warrior in battle. Starring down at me rests a white tiger on the wall. At this moment I realize all that has been given to me and the need to acknowledge that screamed at me to write this. I often start writing and don’t know where it will end up, but I know these words serve some purpose in some way or another. What I hear is that God telling me that He needs to find another way to get my attention. I hear that I am valuable and that the knowledge that I possess is great and needed. The white tiger that stares at me, says I am with you always. I am your protector. The man with the umbrella seems to be saying, I will cover you. The warrior represents the conflict inside my head and soul. With all that surrounds me, I am not deserving of it. Yet here I am; resting in things fit for a prince.

JOY

Sometimes you can spend a lifetime running in darkness. You can lose your way and not know it. Seemingly you can be out of place, even as you are IN PLACE. Sometimes you can drift with the endless counting of watching the blades of a ceiling fan go round and round. A brief memory of things once enjoyed may creep in a time or two, but it doesn't sustain you. This can transform you ways that are unrecoverable if not careful. With each day that passes, stop and remember the good of the day. Bring light into your eyes every chance you get. Hold fast to all good things and find love in them. Delight in the good, for it saves many things. Trust in what you know to be real, and not what others try to make real. LIVE LIFE JOYFULLY!

No Posts

I use to have more time to post because most of it was done at work but they've blocked this site at work plus I have class so i'm limited on time. Not to mention that I can't copy and paste anymore...wth happened.

well hope all is well to all

Best of It

The greatest of these things are love
Through which all is possible
Even when it seems impossible
There it shall prove to win out over all things
Discover it in places rarely expected
Or sought
Place it where it protected yet shared
This gift cannot be denied
It changes even the unchangeable
united it brings joy, and peace beyond imagination
Simplest of things
Yet most don't experience the core of it
Kind in it's natural way, it pours out, endlessly
Often in the face of many, it is sometimes taken for granted
Even so; it endures
So happy to share this greatest gift
With YOU
I love you

Retired

A killed spirit which quickened the bones of his desires
There he sat stalemate
Detoured from his vision of life
Left dormant, his dreams resided in a frozen state
Unaware of the darkness to which he’d paid so much too
His dreams could no longer find dreams to dream
This continuing cycle kept him in place
Every now and then rewarded for his post
He’d treat himself
Yet back to lost
To play his part, he’d find himself
Deflated,
He’d still roll on
Unaware of the state he was in
As he celebrated his retirement
And blow out the candles to a job well done
His presence faded with the smoke blown from the candles
A box of bones he carried away
Reflections of time gone by
Filled with loneliness and out of place
He found that he could not carry on
He rested his eyes for the last time
And just like that
He was lost
Along side his
Desires

Cant Post

Sorry for the not so often post. I used to do these while at work and for some reason they've chosen to block this site. So now I don't have access to post :(

Love To Hate

I hate the way you tell me to do stuff
I love you for the way you talk to me
I hate it when you don’t answer the phone
I love calling your voice mail to hear your voice
I hate it when you get mad at me for not letting the toilet seat down
I love how you keep the house clean
I hate that you yell at me when arguing
I love the different ways you express yourself
I hate it when other people flirt with you
I love the fact that you’re with me
I hate it that you make so much noise in the morning
I love waking up to you
I hate it that you are sometimes short tempered with me
I love the fact that you’re passionate
I hate that you always have to buy new shoes
I love those red pumps on you…..o boy!
I hate that you won’t stop talking and let me rest
I love to hear your voice as I fall to sleep
I hate that I’m having a problem making this list
I love the fact that I have more love than hate for you

LIFE

Life’s passion can sometimes be obscured by the very thing it starts with; LIFE. I’ve pondered this all week. I’ve asked myself this question over and over. If I could do anything in the world what would it be? What would give me that passion for life? What is that one thing? While thinking of the answer I thought about other people. I thought how even as adults we are still children attending school. I mean, we wake up to an alarm clock that we keep hitting the snooze button, just as we did when our parents called for us to get up numerous times. Or even the way we take lunch at work. Just take a second and look when you go to lunch. It’s as if the school bell has rung. All of a sudden there’s traffic, stores are crowded and people are rushing to get in out so that they’re not late returning to work. Heck we even watch the clock for the end of the day bell so that we can head home to do nothing but lodge around. Think about it for a second, this has been the norm for most of our lives. So discovering that passion that breaks those cycles and gives people a zest for life would be so fulfilling to many of us. So in thinking on this for a while I’ve come up with my passion. I’m sure as with most people I’ve always known what my passion is. Do you? If not shouldn’t you try to find it? After all, it’s LIFE!

My Name Is Jade

My brothers and I were sitting in the back seat of my father’s car. My father was driving around looking for something. We didn’t know what it was he was looking for and we didn’t ask. It was raining that night. I remember turning the corner and seeing my father’s eyes light up while looking at them through the rear view mirror. It appeared he’d found what he was looking for. A pay phone (or so we thought)! He stopped the car in front of the phone-booth and jumped out into the rain. My brothers and I sat in the car waiting for him to return. Boom! Suddenly a man was thrown onto the hood of the car. My father appeared too. Next thing I knew my father began beating the man to a pulp. Even as the man was on the ground, my father kicked him. We watched as he picked the man up and threw him into the phone-booth. I remember my father bending down pointing at the man saying something but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Without either of us saying anything, my father jumped back into the car and drove off. We never mentioned what happened to anyone. Not even to one another. Twenty something years would pass before we’d speak about what we saw that night. I asked one of my brothers if he remembered that night. He said and I quote, “Hell yeah I remember! That was some crazy sh*t!” We’d have plenty of stories like that to share between us. It’s truly amazing some of the things we saw and never spoke of them while growing up. Hey, that’s my history and my name is Jade!

Pick Up Lines

Excuse me!

Pssssp, hey how you doing? I was just wondering……..since I’m lost, would you mind if I go home with you?
Pssssp, excuse me but I was wondering if you’d be interested in a free ride to my place?

Pssssp, I’m sorry to pssssp at you, but I was wondering if you’re the blind date I’ve been waiting for?

Hello, sorry to bother you but I’d be pissed at myself later if I didn’t at least try to ask you out.

Oh my goodness! You are breath taking……you better get ready to catch me before I faint from lack of air.

O.K, O.K. where is Jesus? He has to be around here somewhere! If he’s letting Angels walk around here, he has to be here somewhere!

Hi! Have you ever laid down on a sleep number bed? Well here’s your chance! My place at 9!

I’ve been trying to come up with something perfect to say to get your attention, but all I could come up with is, you are beautiful.

So where are WE going tonight?

I love you!

Excuse me! Did you just drop something? Here you go; it was just my business card.

Stop, Stop, Stop! I just want to give it up to your parents! They’ve made a remarkable work of art by making you.

I knew there was gold at the end of the rainbow!

DAMNNNN!!!!

My minds telling noooo, but my body, my body’s telling me to do anything I can to get your attention.

Would you mind if we shared this taxi and the rest of our lives together?
Now I know you’ve heard some of those lines before so I’m not going to use them. All I’m going to say is would you do me the pleasure of having dinner with me?

Epiphany

Dark and with certainty, I rebirth myself in hopes of finally cutting the cord of harmfulness. These labor pains are meant to serve as a reminder to never look back into this pit. Scratching, ripping and tearing has to take place in order for cleansing and purification to renew what is covered in darkness. Caring hands awaiting to pull, support and catch me should I get caught up or stumble. Naturally I’ll have to do my part and allow what feels right to be right. Closed eyes throughout the process, operating without a clue to what surrounds me. Then suddenly an epiphany touches the very fiber of my being and just like that I am born. Needing to learn all, I trust in those that surround me. I’ll lean to them for many things, and someday I hope to have them lean on me. No more tears. No more pain. No more harm. I love you guys, though I haven’t shown it lately. Processing the process.

MJ

Go and hug your "Michael" by Maya Angelou...Yesterday I cried watching the Michael Jackson memorial. I cried for a little black boy who felt the world didn't understand him. I cried for a littleblack boy who spent his adulthood chasing his childhood. And I thoughtabout all the young black boys out there who may too feel that the worlddoesn't understand them. The ones who feel that the world does not understandtheir baggy jeans, their swagger, their music, their anger, their struggles,their fears or the chip on their shoulder. I worry that my son, may too,one day will feel lonely in a wide, wide world.I cried for the young children of all colors who may live their life feeling like a misfit, feeling like no one understands their perspective, or their soul. What a burden to carry.As a mother, I cried for Katherine Jackson because no mother should ever bury a child. Period. And I think about all the pain, tears and sleeplessnights that she must have endured seeing her baby boy in inner pain, seeinghim struggle with his self-esteem, and his insecurities and to know he oftenfelt unloved even while the world loved him deeply. How does it feel tothink that the unconditional love we give as mothers just isn't enough to makeour children feel whole? I wonder if she still suffers thinking, "whatmore could I have done?" Even moms of music legends aren't immune to mommyguilt, I suppose.When Rev. Al Sharpton ("who always delivers one" awesome "funeralspeech") said to Michael's children, "Your daddy was not strange...It was strange what your Daddy had to deal with," I thought of all the "strange" things of theworld that my children will have to deal with. Better yet, the things I hopethey won't ever have to deal with anymore.And as a mother raising a young black boy, I feel recommitted and yet a little confused as to how to make sure my son is sure enough within himself totake on the world. Especially a "strange" one. To love himself enough toknow that even when the world doesn't understand you, tries to force youinto its mold or treats you unkindly, you are still beautiful, strong andBlack. How do I do that?Today, I am taking back "childhood" as an inalienable right for every brownlittle one. In a world, that makes children into booty-shaking,mini-adults long before their time, I'm reclaiming the playful, innocent,run-around-outside, childhood as the key ingredient in raising confident adults.Second, I will not rest until my little black boy, MY Michael, knows that hisbroad nose is beautiful, his chocolately brown skin is beautiful, and histhick hair is beautiful.And nothing or no one can ever take that away from him."Now aint we bad? And ain't we black? And ain't we fine? ---Maya Angelou


I thought of my lil MJ; Elijah

Wife

Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
Or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

10 Things To Know

Here’s the latest useless information that you know you need. Lol! I’m already lol at those of you that will try number 8 and 9.

1.) The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

2.) In Utah, a husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence. WTF

3.) In Wisconsin it is illegal to kiss on a train and sleep on a train. Now you can have all the sex on a train you’d like but make sure you don’t fall asleep afterward.

4.) The Statue of Liberty is actually a statue of two different people. The face was that of Charlotte Bartholdi, the mother of the designer Frederic Auguste Bartholdi. The sculptor's girlfriend, Jeanne-Emilie, was the model for the statue's arms and body.

5.) Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots. Ain’t that some sh**!

6.) The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. Even at your desk lol!

7.) The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910 and the youngest pope was 11 years old.

8.) If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

9.) Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

10.) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma. Um can someone please inform Red Cross!

May I Have This Dance

If I could I’d dance a life with you
We’d share our floor with a love
Beyond stars
Touch a kiss between the two
Never to end our days would last
With this gift I give you my joy
Yours to have
Mine to pleasure
Place with me to protect
Dreams
Hopes
Plans
Needs that I’ll labor to achieve
Give me this moment
I’ll stand a lifetime
My God
He must have sent you Himself
A loss for Him to lose an Angel
Gain for me to grace this gift
So my sweet
As we dance this dance
Know that I will never stop
Growing deeper into you

Michael Jackson

Today a grace of God breezed through the airways of our lives. Michael Jackson died on June 25th, 2009. Today he was honored for his works. Usher sang one of his many number hits, “Gone Too Soon”. A certain sense of mortality seemed to come through. This was a man, a human, a living person with a life of his own. He left behind many memories and many things. We were truly blessed I believe in living in these moments to have witnessed some of his works. I believe he managed to achieve things that were meant for him and him only. His daughter put it best. She said, “Ever since I can remember he was the best dad”. These words are for me. God always has a way of reminding me of His grace. Today it came through today’s tribute to Michael Jackson. May he rest in peace!

Heaven

Close your eyes and visualize the most fantastically beautiful place your heart could ever desire. Pure delight and peace. Your every need is met with just a thought. A utopia of bliss that cannot be contained. I mean just a pure joy! This is Heaven!

Remember When?

Remember when all the kool aid was gone or close to be gone you’d see all that sugar at the bottom?
Remember the penny candy lady in the neighborhood?
Remember we’d call “bingo” when we saw a car we wanted to have when we grew up?
Remember when you could only ride your bike on your side of the sidewalk and only for half a block?
Remember that mean man/lady on block that was mean for no reason?
Remember that dog that would always get loose and chase you?
Remember the name of that dog; always something like, “Red”, “Pepper”, or “Spike”.
Why was it always a black dog?
Remember when the street lights came on, some of us took off running home, cause we’d better be either on the porch or in the house when they came on?
Remember that barber that used to knick the hell out of you and would say stay still?
Remember that fine teacher you liked?
Remember thinking she liked you too?
Remember when Michael Jackson did the moonwalk on Motown 25?
Remember when New Edition split to become BBD?
Remember Toni, Tony, Tone
Remember Toni Braxton walking across the stage in that dress?
Remember having supersonic hearing when it came to the ice cream truck?
Remember your parents saying stupid stuff like, “you better be quiet before I give you something to really cry about”?
Remember the corner store?
Remember Thanksgiving meals at Grandma’s?
Remember Now & Laters, Lemon Heads, Boston Bake Beans, Redhots, and Big Pal gum?
Remember Birthday “Licks”?
Remember sneaking out the house before mom got home?
Remember that open fire hydrant, somehow it turned into a block party?
Remember car alarms that required a key to activate and disarm?
Remember that girl/boy you liked?
If you’ve seen them recently you questioned why you liked them?
Remember all those kids you grew up?
Where’d they come from?
How many fathers do you remember in the neighborhood?
Remember the boy “Black”?
Remember hurting yourself to the “white meat”
What do you remember??????????????

Everything

Everything from the smell of her hair to color of nails
Everything from the length of legs to the small of her back
Everything from her touch to her kiss
Everything from the sound of her voice to the joy of her laughter
Everything from the deepness of her eyes to the calm of her skin
Everything from the curve of her hips to the sway of her stride
Everything from her passions to her dreams
Everything from her love to her family
Everything from the moment I met her
Made me all the better

The 5 Things You Need To Know Today (To catch and possibly keep a man)

1.) If you’re interested in a man don’t look away when he looks at you. (I’m not saying you have to stare at one another but give him that invitation with your eyes.)

2.) Don’t talk too much when you first meet. Settle down a bit….lol

3.) Listen to him. Chances are everything you’ll need to know will be disclosed to you with the first few minutes. You have to just listen. (any questions let me know)

4.) It’s ok to compliment him. (nice shirt, nice smile, etc.)

5.) Remember a man loves a chase. Don’t be anxious to give him all of you, even though you’re so ready too. Be the onion and allow him to peal back the layers. You’ll both have fun doing this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIJAH

Today is my son’s birthday! He turned 5 today! I just spoke to him. He has a way of feeling my heart with just pure joy. His angelic voice could bring a smile to anyone’s face. Sometimes he makes life that much easier! Happy Birthday Elijah! Daddy loves you and I’ll see you later today!

So You Wanna Leave

(HIM)
So you wanna leave me…..well go ahead and pack yo shit!
So you wanna leave me…..well stop talking and leave
So you wanna leave me…..well leave the keys to the crip and the whip
So you wanna leave me…..well take that hair out yo head that I paid for
So you wanna leave me….well take those damn nail tips off that I paid for
So you wanna leave me….well leave that Gucci bag that I paid for
So you wanna leave me….well imma need that black card back
So you wanna leave me....well just get ta steppin

(HER)
So you wanna talk shit…..well here take these keys
So you wanna talk shit…..well here, you can have this hair back
So you wanna talk shit….well here, take these nails back (I can’t get this one off but here)
So you wanna talk shit….well here, take this bag too
So you wanna talk shit….well here, take this over the balance card back
So you wanna talk shit…..well that should be all since I already gave you that STD…we should be even!

Truth Be Told

Truth be told I miss you
Truth be told you could never be replaced
Truth be told my heart will always belong to you
Truth be told by true happiness rest in you
Truth be told I was blessed to know you
Truth be told your laughter is missed
Truth be told I still feel your presence
Truth be told we were suppose to grow old together
Truth be told I’d rather have you here for just another moment
Truth be told I didn’t express these things to you
Truth be told no one knows me like you
Truth be told I’ll always truly be yours
Truth be told this is to you
Truth be told things we lost pale in comparison to not having you
Truth be told you was what I needed
Truth be told I lost my love
Truth be told I lost my life
Truth be told I lost you
Truth be told I………………………

My Name Is Jade

So I arrive in the beautiful city of Miami seemingly straight out of a scene from Scarface. In the trunk of the rented Chevy Cobalt lies a briefcase full of cash. Carefully placed Ben Franklins on top. 3 deep, 12 rows. Singles 4 down and straight across. This will be used as show money. This will allow me access to a supply that would eventually move me into a “player” status. Sort of a buy in process. Without skipping a beat I manage to impress the one person I needed too. I’ll always remember his first words to me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more unsuspectful person come to me like you!” Just like that I was “blessed” in. Without truly knowing I’d found myself with a network that stretched from the east coast to the west coast. You know how the movies portray scenes of naked girls braking down keys of cocaine and dudes are sitting there in the room with AK47’s? Well let me tell you first hand. That’s pretty much how it’s done. Can you imagine walking into something like that? Remember you have to remain cool and calm like this is the norm. It’s a funny business at that level. You learn quickly who’s on what level. You learn who touches the product, who supplies the need, who fronts what’s needed, who does the dirty business (you really don’t want to know them; at least not like that), and who manages things. By the way managers never touch anything. However they’re always in complete control of every aspect of the business. You’d be surprised to know just who some of the managers are. In this business you learn fast that nothing is a surprise. This is my story. My name is Jade!

Carry Me Father

I can’t seem to write anymore. There are several things I’ve managed to start writing about yet I can’t seem to finish them. I’ve been in that fog I once wrote about. I’m in a place of happiness and sadness all at once. I’m not going to go into detail about it. Its funny this thing called life. Full of up’s and downs joy and pain. Everyday I find joy and try to hold on to it. Every single day. Yet sometimes I feel like I’m running out of gas and can’t make it up the hill. Yet every time I feel that I suddenly receive a push. It comes in different forms but I know it is the hand of God carrying me. His caring hand comes in many different forms. Sometimes it is manifested through people or things, but sometimes it’s the subtle whisper from God simply saying, “I am!” Those two soft words He speaks reassures me that He is all I need. Those two words cover everything I face in this life. It’s funny how I find the words pouring into my thoughts now because I’m speaking about God. He is all! All that I need! All that makes me! All that I should be! All that is! He is carrying me right now and I’m thankful for it. People can make you laugh. They can show you a good time. They can sit and talk with you. They can provide some comfort when you need it. They can help you take your mind off of things. They can help in many different ways. Only God can supply all of my needs. All, everything, anything, and whatever….He can and will be my supplier. Thank you Jesus for sacrificing for me to have access to the Father. Thank you Father for carrying me!

The 5 Things You Need To Know Today

The 5 Things You Need To Know Today

1.) Today is national Man’s Day (For real)
2.) Today the Magic is waking up asking, what happened (Lakers Win)
3.) 1994 The Lion King Opens on this day
4.) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
5.) In Georgia all males in the state between the ages of 16 and 50 are required to work on public roads.

Broken

Things seem to be out of place. I awake and my day begins with uncertainty. A stranger in a place of welcome. A smile graces my face yet there is unhappiness that lies behind the smile. Simply put, I am broken!

Can I ask you a question

Can you cover my eyes and lead me to comfort?
Or will you lead me to destruction?
If I shared my dreams with you, would you help me reach them?
Or would you kill them?
If I was hurting would you comfort me?
Or would you talk about me behind my back?
If I lost all my possessions would provide shelter?
Or would you say you have no room?
If someone hurt me would you come to my aide?
Or would you befriend the very one that hurt me?
Can I share what I have with you?
Or would you try to take all I have?
Can I trust you with my kids?
Or will you treat them like nappy head step kids? Lol
Can I talk to you?
Or would you not listen?
If I told you I wanted to form a band and be the lead singer, would you support me?
Or would you say I’m out of my mind and it’ll never work?
I just thought I’d ask……………..

Hands

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19.
A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth $33 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6.
A baseball in Roger Clemens' hands is worth $475 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A tennis racket is useless in my hands.
A tennis racket in Andre Agassi's hands is worth about 30 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away an angry dog.
A rod in Moses' hands parted the Red Sea.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A slingshot in my hands is a kid's toy.
A slingshot in David's hand killed a Phillistine giant
It depends on whose hands it's in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches.
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in Jesus' hands fed five thousand.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.
Nails in Jesus' hands produced salvation for the world.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

As you can clearly see now, it depends on whose hands it's in.
Therefore, put all your concerns, all your worries, all your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and all your relationships in God's hands because...
It depends on whose hands it's in.


Thanks Ele

A Subtle Breeze

A subtle breeze made it's way into my room last night. It carried with it a calming melody that blissfully danced into my dreams. It's tunes seemingly kissed my soul. I could feel it's presence with every fiber of my being. A symphony of beauty filled the space from corner to corner. A rest fell to me unlike any I'd experienced before. Though naked I was clothed from it's aura. I could somehow understand all things concerning my concerns. The melodies constantly chattering the strings of Angelic tunes, somehow told of calmly things. A true peace entered from everywhere. Time no longer existed. For a moment, heaven entered my room through a subtle breeze from my window last night.

Rearview Mirror

Looking through the rearview mirror of life. I hope to look back at mistakes I’ve made and corrected them. I hope to have learned from them. I hope to never travel down that road again. I hope to save others from going down the same path. I hope to never forget where I’ve come from. I hope be better than I was 5 minutes ago. I hope to leave something behind that can be of good use. I hope that others forgive me of things I may have done that I never expressed to them in a way that showed I was truly sorry. I hope to look back and find pride in some things i've accomplished. I hope that this road traveled was not in vain. I hope that my kids smile from times we've shared. I hope that people know I was there……….I hope........

Break Away!

You know when you’re driving and you’re just not really yourself but you don’t realize it until that damn song comes on the radio. Somehow the lyrics seem to be directed at you with such clarity and meaning. Somehow you get a vivid picture (all while driving) of the very reason the lyrics mean something today. So to Nikki,

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd prayI could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and break away.

Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane
Far away And break away





Thank you Kelly Clarkston

Sorry

Sorry for not posting recently. I've been in a fog lately. I don't like writing nothings.

Forward Through Life

Broken and in need of restoration
Stripped and hungry for covering
Lost and seeking direction
Alone and in need of a friend
Tired and chasing rest
Stagnant and needing a push
Somehow life has its way of showing all that it is
Sometimes we get caught in its fog and can’t point nor make it to any destination
The thing about life is that it doesn’t stop
Finding the drive to continue is what keeps us looking for those things we need to press forward
Forward
Forward
Once the fog has lifted we are better for it
Another one of life’s lessons that’s meant to be passed on
I am all those things named above and then some
Yet I know this too shall pass
With the lifting I hope to remember the very things that brought me to this moment
Thank you to you that remind me of things
Your words though at times may seem unheard strike a cord that simply cannot be ignored
Life’s words are full of life
Life is full of life
Press through Forward through life’s challenges
And never stop
Never give up
Forward
Forward

Prissy

I remember when you’d run and jump into my arms and say “Jamelly”. Wow! I love you Prissy!

10 Things I Find Wierd About People

1.) People that don’t like animals of any kind.
2.) People that put animals before humans.
3.) People that are always in someone else’s business.
4.) People that think racism is dead.
5.) People that are prejudice because someone is different than what they’re use to.
6.) People that curse at kids.
7.) People that hit people and keep going.
8.) People that are “ghetto” but don’t know they are, so they call others “ghetto”.
9.) People that are “close talkers”.
10.) People that don’t take responsibility for their own actions.

The 5 Things You Need To Know Today

5 Signs that your girl is cheating on you.

1.) When you call her she answers with a rare nickname (like boo or you) and is very brief.

2.) She hangs out with a male “friend” that she says is just her “friend” and he doesn’t like her like that. Umm he’s not gay!

3.) She has introduced you to the very dude she’s seeing.

4.) Out of nowhere you notice upgrades to her everything, i.e. new Yacki or Brandi weaves, nails down regularly, new clothes, heck even her car is clean (ALL THE TIME).

5.) She tells you in a joking way. It sounds something like this; “You know I got my other man for that”.

Slum Dog Millionaire 5 out 5 Stars

Every award this movie has won is definitely deserved. LOVE can sustain and overcome anything. No obstacle, no circumstance, no mistakes, no failures, no hurt, no monetary belongings, no power, no lost, no gains, no captivity, no matter what is in the way of LOVE, Love simply wins through. It is the one thing that has been birthed into us from the moment we were created. Everything about life is tied to love. Life represents love. Love represents life. In both are the keys to everything we need. I try to remember that I'm surrounded by it daily. Finding it in others is not something that is promised, but if we slow down and intake the wonders of life we shall acquire pieces to the many parts of the puzzle of LOVE. In it's purest form it is rarely realized. I say this because Love endures ALL. It does not boast or puff itself up. It is given with ease and shared the same. It is perhaps the one thing that never changes. Because of it's very origin it is what it was from the beginning. Love doesn't change. It last an eternity. Today, tomorrow and forever it shall always remain the same as it was yesterday.

Priceless

Box of BC Headeache Powders, $3.25
Soup, DVD Rental, Juice, $5.45
Blanket, Pillows, P.J's, $39.99
Watching my son roll around playing doing flips fighting the invisible monster, shouting watch this daddy!

Priceless!

Even when I feel alittle under the weather he always has a way of bringing joy to my world.

The 5 things you need to know today

The 5 things you need to know today (He’s just not that into to you)

1.) He only calls when he wants or needs something (never just because he’s thinking about you)
2.) You get put into voicemail over 50% of the time when you call him
3.) He rarely or never buys you anything
4.) Even when he has spare time, he doesn’t make it a point to spend it with you
5.) You haven’t met his friends or family members

Smile Babes

Be patient and I’ll hand you the world
Use judgment to know when not to bend
Listen to what it is I speak
Learn from words I choose
See me for who I am
Know that with you, I am complete and renewed daily
Allow me to be a man
A provider
A protector
A giver
A lover
A friend
And all the things that add to me
Allow me to compliment you on how beautiful you are in the light of my eyes
Learn when I want you to respond to a slight touch against the small of your back
Understand that everything I do is meant to please both God and you
Even as I write this I smile thinking of you
Allow me to be the lifetime shoulder that catches any pain or tears that you may face
Do not hesitate to ………anything
Damn we look good together
Just thought I’d express some things that came to mind
Smile Babes

Today's Quote

Today's Inspirational Quote:

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming."

-- J.W Von Goethe

The 5 things you need to know today

Ok, so there’s a radio station here in Atlanta called the Burt Show. Anyway they have a session called, “Melissa’s five things you need to know today”, which is based on news stories of the day. I started to wonder what are the five things you need in a relationship to make it successful. Now I’m sure you need more than five, but here’s the top five that I came up with.
1.) Attraction
2.) Commitment
3.) Honesty (no matter how difficult)
4.) Trust
5.) Support

Now these aren’t in any particular order. Now some of obviously come with time and some can sneak up on you. One should be learned quickly (while courting or chasing). Supporting each other passions and dreams can lead to many great things. Being committed to one person gives you freedom to explore each other’s everything.
Please feel free to add your 2cents………

Roses are red

Roses are red
Violets are blue
The pain I feel
Is directly from you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Keep this up
And we’ll be through
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You playing games
Is something I don’t do
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have to ask
Do you know whom you’re talking to
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Why are you trying
To make me act a fool
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Now I see
Why the last dude left you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Stop provoking me cause
Hitting you is something I will not do
Roses are red
Violets are blue
So now you’re
Calling the boys in blue
Roses are red
Violets are blue
All I wish to is leave
You take her word over mine; officer please
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Away I go
All this over some broke down hoe
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Learn from me
Don’t let this happen to you

Follow Me

A letter was left on my desk asking the following questions.



Why not trust and follow me? Have you known me ever lead anyone down the wrong path? Why not love me? Have I not shown you unconditional love? Why not listen to me? Have I only given the best advice and have I not followed my own word? Why do you push me away? Have I not tried to protect and shield you? Why do you choose to go against my request? Have I not shown you that I only ask out of love? Why have you trusted in others and not in me? Have I ever let you down while following me? Why do you not talk to me? Are my words not encouraging? Why do you settle? Have I not offered you a kingdom life? Why not start to follow me today? Have I not made my point clear?

X ____________Jesus Christ____________

HMD

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Familiar Places

I found myself resting in a familiar place. Comfort filled my needs. Laughter that had been condemned was free to fill the air. The smell of life before the pain revisited me and I took in the breath of peace that surrounded me. I watched as the glow of light from the bathroom luminated the wood floor leading to this station where my dreams once probed. She was there, just as she'd been before, brushing her hair, preparing for bed. I smiled as I remembered moments when I could no longer wait for her to finish and so I'd find myself entering the light, just to be next to her. Companionship brings to mind many wonderful thoughts of exchanged beauties in this familiar place. A lifetime shared together filled with many beautiful things. Funny how the glow of light from a floor can take you to a place far from where you are and carry you to a heaven of love. I'm thankful for these things that are before me. Just nice to know that there is a place I can find familiarity.

Go check out the poem on sweetmango's page called............Love came and took me for a walk last night.

Rest

I wish I could rub away your pain and hold you until you find yourself refreshed and ready to breath in a new day. No worries shall penetrate you while I’m on duty. Relax and care for nothing but you. Time out for the outside passions that leave you drained. Today I shall stand in the heat of your days. Pick up a book, watch a movie, or maybe listen to your favorite cd. No cares today. No visitors today; that is unless you’re bringing laughter along. Rays of sun shall grace your cheek while I massage your feet as that novel takes you away. Today is rest. REST!!!