Man In The Mirror part 2

You can spend a lifetime and never find the taste of life. Yet often times we are surrounded by it and fail to witness it. We ourselves prevent our buds from tasting the flavor that was mixed specifically for us. Whether due to looking in places for the very thing that’s in front of you or choosing a path you choose alone, we block so much from our lives. Look around you and see the weeds in your field and pluck them. You are so much more than you see in your mirror. You are captured power and heavenly manufactured peace. You don’t have to seek, peace, joy and love will find you! Time out for second place and not reaching for the stars and staying complacent in the state that you are in. Stand in the wisdom of knowing that you are important and something meant for sharing in ways that some very, truly blessed person would be lucky to have. You are first and definitely not purposed for last place or loss. The creation of you sparked joy to many, and expectations were placed on you before you laid eyes on this world. You still carry those today, expectations that is. I expect you to know that you are special, unique and carry gifts that are uniquely specialized just for you. As for your mate, they will want each day with you to not end. I will give you a measure to remember when it comes to that mate; if they do not feel that way about you, then they are not your check to your mate. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. I wish you could see that the beauty that environs your days was meant just for you to rejoice in it. I use the word beauty often because it personifies much and many things, but to me it defines perfection as close as possible to heaven I could imagine. It actually brings a smile to my face now when thinking of the power beauty brings. Don’t miss your flavors any further. Know that when you see me I’m praying for you and expecting nothing but the best for you. I am in your corner and together we will win this race of life. Today is your beginning and remember that anyone interested in running this race with you will suit up and let you know that they are in. So until then…ready, set……go!

Random Vision

tonight i'm reminded of your presence. i can see ur pretty white dress as you enter the room (or area). the weather is perfect and its as if heaven has opened up its best view for the occasion. you look absolutely amazing, so much so that a tear drops from my eye. ur smile is capturing hearts across the aisle. i mean u look beautiful. there's a pianist playing a solo. i'm singing to u as u make ur approach. its so vivid that i swear i can reach out and touch u now. y would such a dream like this be so realistic and ur soooo far away, there's a video of u playing too...from birth to current day. i can hear the water in the background. u have no idea the vison i see of u. none!!!

My Name is Jade

What do you do when the police raid your mother’s home, looking for you? Trust me, it’s a call that you do not want to receive. “Jade, the police is here looking for you.” Yeah, definitely not something you want to have your mother go through. There’s a lot that runs through your head when something like that happens. What are they there for? What are they looking for? Is there anything there that they could find? Will moms let them know where I am? Are they headed here now? Yeah, the lists of questions go on-and-on. We’ve all seen those CSI shows so you know that you have to move fast and oh, get off the phone. That happens to be a knack of mine, moving fast that is. I tend to think fast on my feet and make good decisions in situations such as these. I mean, what am I doing? I gotta make some changes here.

The police raided my mother’s home due to an outstanding traffic violation. Who’s ever heard of such a thing? I’ve been smart all my life, or rather I’d like to think I’ve been. There are a lot of things that happen when things come out into the open. First the “shock” that something like this could happen. That one always gets me because when you reap from something you know damn well is not on the up and up, why would you be shocked when something like this happens? Are you really that blind to the things around you? What 23 year old with no college experience or professional contract somewhere drives a new Range, Benz and Jag and owns 3 homes all without truly working “full time”? Um unless that 23 year old comes from money, then don’t be blind to these things. It’s ok though, many people like to enjoy the ride for as long as it last, but when the ride ends don’t pretend that you didn’t notice the views along the way. The second thing that typically happens is you lose people that use to be clinging to your nuts. Now if you’re smart you expected that one to happen. I mean it takes a lot to stand with something that is embarrassing and dangerous, so you’d be a fool to expect everyone to stand by your side.

The goal of the police that day was simple, it was meant to let me know that they were on to me and it would be a matter of time before I was either paying them, locked up or dead and as I said I think fast on my feet and knew I wouldn’t be doing either of those 3 things.

Let’s not forget, when in power you make powerful friends and they would prove to be beneficial to me during my exit. This is my story and my name is Jade.

My Name is Jade

She didn’t know either by choice and naïve. As from my perspective it was best that she did not know anything. If anything were to happen, she would truly be clueless to the things around her. Understand though, she was no dummy and had an idea of some things but not anything for certain. I remember her asking me why I never brought my friends around and why is it that people know us and I’d always say because I don’t and because they do. I would tell her to not ask me questions about things and she knew it was simply better not too. I remember her sitting in courtrooms with both a look of, ‘why we are here ’and ‘why are we really here’.

I remember her and I going to a Hawks game and while walking into the stadium we ran into one of my ‘people’ and he was definitely not anyone she’d seen me with before. He and I chatted for a second about ‘things’ and afterward she and I continued into the game. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she asked, “How do you know him?” Of course my response was, “I just do” and I expected that to be the end of that but this one she could not let go. She pressed and asked again and again how I’d knew him. To her defense he looked like what some people would call a street thug or whatever. He was tatted from head to toe with the infamous tear drop tat, which signifies you’ve killed someone. He’s definitely not someone you’d feel safe around unless you knew him lol. No matter how much she asked, my reply remained the same. In an effort to calm her, I told her I’d invite him to the next get together we had and that was enough to quiet her.

I have many stories to tell and many chapters within those stories and I hope that in the end I am able to convince someone to change for the better. As you read these stories you’ll see that most if not all the people I dealt with on a close level are either in jail or dead. This does not end well and it hasn’t been well for me either. I’ve faced some struggles and still do, so in no way should you look upon this and think that this is the life to live. Trust me, the sound of a bullet entering flesh or the smell of drugs being cooked or the sound of a jail cell locking you in are all things you’d like to forget but would never be able to do. I write because it’s in me to do so, not to paint a picture of glory. This is my story and my name is Jade!

Hide N Gone

Close your eyes and count to ten and see if you ever get this again. You charmed your way in my territory but today is eviction day so I suggest you remove your possessions from this space. You see I see through you and I am no longer caught in your magnetism. Yes you had me at hello, but now experience the loss of me at goodbye. Look, I’m not going to make this long, ………. {enter awkward silence}…………….. you still here?

My Name is Jade

If I were transparent you’d see the break in my heart. As she returns to another I witness the dreams of my tomorrow pass away slowly. Like walking through a mall, you’d see right through me and see everything on the shelves of my life. The pain of loneness and lost might have you standing in aw for a while. If I were to be honest for a moment I’d say that I’m tired of losing out on the things I want most. I’d say, what’s the point in being and doing the right thing? You’d see the little boy from Ada floating in a sea of tears held back only from life’s pains that was built out of frustrations. If you stepped into my shoes you’d burn with the feeling that my dreams, while so vivid and reality to my current being are such a torturous place. When does this all end? When does the pleasure of tasting that which is good, stop ending in loss and start ceasing to end, but rather last an eternity? If I exposed myself fully, many would see the falling inside me that beckons to be caught, kept, loved and mended from the many breaks in my heart. At the sacrifice of me, I pray that all others joy remains with them and that they obtain everything that they desire and keep the things they need. If I were transparent you’d see that through my brokenness I am constantly healed in the faith that my architect designed me so unique that only 1 special person may inhabit this space along with me. You’d see that I can suffer much if it that which I suffer for is truly intended for me and for me alone. Healed…and my name is Jade

My Name is Jade

This is no movie and it happens in many of the cities you live in. It may seem truly unbelievable that things such as these really happen but pierce through my eyes and you’ll soon discover that a war is being fought daily right in your backyard and right in here these United States of America.
Dinner amongst “friends” is supposed to be nice and relaxing. It’s supposed to be filled with laughter and good conversation and perhaps some toast to the good week you had. Yeah that’s the way things are supposed to be but that is definitely not my life. None-the-less me and some “friends” decided to head out for some seafood feasting and later get into whatever or whomever. There we were, living the good life and having a blast, but things are never as they seem in this lifestyle and soon the laughter would turn into a nightmare. Now no matter what I’m doing or where I am, I am always aware of my surroundings and that night would test just how aware I truly was. I remember the waiter bringing extra napkins while the servers were handing out the plates that were ordered. Man this was some scarface type of crap too, because one of the servers had that white scarf over his arm while showing off the bottle of wine that was to be poured. It was some real classy ish. I remember the older couple that was coming through the door, as they looked like a nice couple. He was fair skinned and she had a caramel completion. I even remember the neon light from the restaurant sign glowing on street and the ripples in the puddle of water as cars drove by. I remember a silver lexus pulling up to the curb, seemingly looking for valet, but when the car crept up approximately 5 feet and then went into reverse, I knew something was not right. Before I could get a word out…….Boom, Bang, Bang, Bow!!! Gun shots rang out and the chaos began. As you can imagine, the screaming, running and glass breaking began and for the party I was with, gunfire was returned. I swear it seemed like hours were passing but it all took place within a 5 minute period. 5 minutes and 1 second later, there was complete dead silence. It’s quite weird when you hear silence such as that and 2 seconds later the noise begins. I remember Bo shouting at me saying, “You hit? You hit?” Not a word left my lips and he figured I was good and went to check others. “Nooooo! Come on dawg! Get up! Get up! I will never forget the sound of death in a voice, as I could hear Bo trying to call death away from Jermaine who’d been shot 4 times and was killed instantly. As I stood there, thinking and understanding the magnitude of what just took place and slowly began to understand that this was not something random and that somehow this was something that had been planned and planned with the help of one of my “friends”. I lost a close friend that night and instead of Jermaine on the tombstone it could have read, My Name is Jade!

Time in a Bottle

Time spent with someone you care for is nice and it’s even better when spent with someone you love. When you experience that kind of time in a bottle everything suddenly has life. You notice the random colors that surround you and the lyrics in songs have strong meaning to them. As the investment in time is being counted and stored you find that you’ve grown an expanded in ways you hadn’t expected you would. You last in moments that you’ve shared and are able to smile at the many flashes that kept the explosive chemistry between you and them. Give me just another day to swim in your arms and awake to your morning smile. Show me where, how, when and what I’d have to do to keep times pace from catching up to tomorrows sunset. As I stand in the shadow of this passing day, I ponder at the audacity of hope that these things that each has given will not fade into its darkness. With lifted spirits I am joyed at the many comforts, conversations, smiles and laughter, touches and kisses and the simple calmness we’ve shared and they shall remain with me for a lifetime. So sure I’ve been, that the you and I time would never falter that this time that is before me does not come without a slew of emotions and killed moments that takes a piece of my soul away forever. I still find rest in the days I gave and peace in the knowing that everything in me was poured without limitations and for that, I will forever be grateful to have had you be a part of me and I too you.

X-pression

Yeah she won’t see me standing in front of her because her vision is blocked. There is no more to be done and no words that need to be spoken any further. No matter the amount of substance that’s poured it will be mistaken for something else. The doubts or worries remain and pulls her away just as the taste of her stains my days. Expression is life and the ability to live through it defines me, but I’m stifled by slipping hands I once held and lips I’ve kissed freely. When I reach will your arms be there to comfort the lost thoughts that cripple my dreams or shall I remain on a collision course with vanished moments. She is so close and yet so far away that it is like looking through waters that run deep. When settled, all is calm and clear but that one pebble that breaks the tranquility unsettles so much that even I am lost in the waves it makes. The dilemma is that I’ve seen her views unblocked and it fed me for a lifetime but I’m in need of a quick quenching and I hope it comes soon. Words are my expression.

Back To Bed

Will you come back to bed baby? I want to lay here a while longer and enjoy the small moments that present themselves for the taking. Rest here and lay your head on my chest as I run my fingers through your hair. There’s time always remaining and is never past due when it comes to a you and I. Climb back underneath these covers and roll up next to me so that I can feel your skin breathing against mine. Settle my missing you passion with your presence. ‘Tap, tap’, yes, right here baby, place your making right here! Shh, rest your cares, concerns, thoughts and words under the silence of this calming space. You are my present this morning, so come here so that I can say good morning to you the proper way. Slip out of those clothes and remove those slippers…yeah that’s it, come here baby. We don’t need to be in a hurry today. Good morning baby!!!

Tunnel Vision

My mind is like a tunnel with the outer edges always changing. The center is always smooth and calm but the walls are difficult to read and understand but are filled with life and abundance. The center is paved with black shiny stone and is endless, while the walls are painted with brilliant colors that are ever changing in motion. Picking one particular thing to focus on is nearly impossible as the beauty of it is so marvelous that finding that one thing cannot be. The movement of it all is seamless and soft and beckons to be touched but its distance won’t allow for it. There are colors that have yet to be named dotted throughout. You might confuse its dance with confusion but it tells a story that calms even the deepest thoughts. My mind provides peace that even, even when I should be torn I am easy. I wish I could find a way to paint the dotted expressions that cover its canvas. What a joyous place that stays with me and is accessible at any given point. 

Sorry

All I know how to do is love. Sorry

What If

What if I’d never met you and I never asked for your hand to dance? What if I’d never invited you out to dinner? What if I never looked into those amazing eyes? What if my heart didn’t skip a beat whenever you are near me? What if I’d never kissed or made love to you? What if I hadn’t seen my future in your smile? What if opportunity never knocked or that the signs that said go, where changed to stop? What if you weren’t all the things I’ve prayed for and then some and some yet to be revealed? What if I hadn’t asked for your hand in marriage and promised you that every day for the rest my life I would love and cherish you? What if I didn’t get to dance with you as my bride? What if you never had our children? What if we didn’t get to take walks through the park or cuddle next to each other while watching a movie? What if kissing you never became my joy? What if our home never was? What if breakfast in bed was never prepared? What if I couldn’t express myself to you and you to me? What if you never read anything I wrote? What if I ignored your passions and never fed into them? What if after years together I missed your beauty? What if I never realized just how beautiful you are? What if time never allowed for investment in you? What if I never truly got to know you and missed out on the loves of my life? What if I didn’t realize you were worth the fight? What if I saw you as just another woman? What if I wasn’t thinking of how much I enjoy you and how much I want my future to be with you? What if you say yes?

For Me

If we never learn from our past then our past is certainly bound to repeat itself. Whether good or bad, the choices we make will define who we are. While everyone would love to have just the good, often times it is the bad that we try desperately to run from. We all carry “bad” in our lives and some are worse than others. We can choose the direction we will go in by making better choices and those choices can be found or started in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. Have you ever been around a group of negative people and listened to their conversation? What you’ll find is that somehow the positive things are always turned into a negative in some way. Take this one for example, “John just bought a nice new car. I don’t know what he gone do now when it comes to getting gas. Shoot he’ll probably end up losing it because he can’t afford the gas.” You may have picture someone you know when you read that. Hopefully they are not in your circle of “people food”. Everything we eat feeds our body in some way or another and the same can be said of the people who feed words into our lives. Look for the good and make it your routine and imprint your good unto the things that surround you. Choose the good and do not dwell in the bad. With this small change, today’s tomorrows will be filled with good presents.

A Dance

Will you slow dance with me? Will you slow dance with me just a little while longer? Will you slow dance with me and make it last an eternity? Will our moment stay? Will we be completed in the song of hope? Will you slow dance with me and rest your cares into my chest? Will tomorrow’s melody be silenced from interruption? Will you slow dance with me and look up into my eyes and find comfort? Will you slow dance with me under the matching heartbeats we share? Will you take my hand and lead me to the dance floor and say, “dance with me slowly”? Will you slow dance with me and never let it end……never let it end

Dear Writer

You are smart, kind, giving, loving, excepting, willing, able, wise, encouraged, patient and many other things. You will rest in everything you dream of and more. You are rare when it comes to giving, because you give through and with your heart. All the challenges and setbacks that you’ve faced will only elevate you into your hemisphere. You have many talents to offer too many people and things. You are a beauty that I think is rare, as you are able to find beauty in places, things and people that others may overlook. You amaze me at how you connect all things in the path of life and provide life and meaning to them. The way you open yourself up to love is an experience that few do and I hope you never lose that. Your song carries its own unique tune and its sound cannot ever be silenced once it has been heard. You have an uncanny ability to pick yourself up when you’ve been down, but the biggest difference in that is that you do it with a smile and very few regrets. You go for what you want and ignore the “no’s” until you’ve obtained your destiny. You write through love. Your gifts are worth so much and even though you may realize some of your worth, you may not know just how valuable you are. You are life, and the many abundances that it offers are all yours. I love you.

I Wonder

I wondered if she’d think of me. Would she think of me as minutes passed by. Would she wonder where I could be. Would she wonder what I am doing. Would she wish that she were here instead of there. Would I fade away from her thoughts or would an everlasting spec of me cause her heart to rest no more and find a need for me. I wonder if I’ve made an imprint unto her soul that’s so powerful that even while away it connects her to me and I to her. I wonder if the moments that have been captured are strong enough to turn away the hands of another. Would those delicate kisses still have feeling while I’m away. I wonder if she’s ever felt my heart race for her. I wondered what goes through her thoughts when she looked into my eyes, especially at the very second they were speaking a love language. I wonder if she’d think about her hands in mine and smile. I wonder if she knows that waking next to her is what they call morning delight. I wonder as she ponders her days, how much or how little I’m in the future of them. I wonder if she knows that I’d climb a mountain of “no’s” to get to her “yes”. I wonder at what moment she will take “this thing” we have and breathe it into her fabric. I wonder if it is the start of love that I see in her smile. I wonder when I am gone would she……….

Time

Ok, so this thing called time is forever a changing momentum in life. Most of the days you end up with little of it to do the things you'd like too, but sometimes a gift of time is given for the very thing (s) that the time was designed for. I believe everything is based on numbers and therefore everything is connected and divisable by another. At the perfect moment in space I've been gifted a present that only the movement of life would offer. Ironically the T that equals X is running out and the answer to times equation will be complete. Only the X factor will not necessarily complete the riddle, but in fact lead to another equation that opens to more time. So how do you calculate the block of time seemingly placed in the center of space that brought upon something new? Well,I think the answer to that is T squarred by E = X. The reason for the solution is that momentum swings in the way of the progression which leads to new starts. That my friends is the answer to the riddle that ponders many.

My Name is Jade

You’d be amazed at the things you may be over looking. Home purchase, car rental, haircuts and car purchases are or can be nothing more than a legitimizing face to something that is truly far different from what it looks like on the outside. I mean come on, we (black people) know that most (if not all) barber shops is the place you go to get a hook up on anything you want or need. You need music, you hit the shop. You need clothes, you hit the shop. You need movies, you hit the shop. You need purses, hair, jewelry, weed or whatever, you hit the shop. Sorry shop owners but yawl know and yawl also know that that is not a secret. I mean the shop is life line to what’s going on. You have to be able to walk in a shop and it feel like “cheers”, where everyone knows your face and not your “real” name lol. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some legit businesses out there but huh, well you know. Ok, so what’s my point to all this? Well my first big “break” came from the barber shop and from that break came others. Out of all the breaks I’ve come across, there was one that crossed boarders and it came in the form of a used car lot. Now we’ve all seen the buy here pay here spots with the luxury cars that will give you financing even with no proof of income. You bring cash, you ride! Man you gotta love America. I mean where else can you walk into a dealership with nothing but cash and drive out with a Benz, Jag or whatever else you’d like? Heck, in some cases you don’t even need a driver’s license; you just need a name and a “pass”. Now people please don’t walk into a dealership and say you gotta a pass and want a car, cause your feelings might get hurt. For those of you that know what I mean when I say a “pass”, you know what I mean, but for those that don’t, it is basically credit by name alone but that name is understood to be good for it. So there I was in need or more in want of something new to drive around in and found myself sitting in Mr. Mohammad’s office being given the choice of whatever I wanted. Mr. Mohammad was a very successful “dealer” (cars) with ties to “dealers” that could get pretty much anything he wanted. I remember him so well because he didn’t say much, he just nodded his head or gave a look and people knew what he meant. There wasn’t a sense of power or ownership, it was more an understanding. For some reason he took to me and embraced me and with that my name was truly born and even today it still is. My name is Jade……. While I obviously change the names of people and businesses I will give a little hint to today’s story…… This business shares the name of the greatest one of all time and I was next door to it today (5-25-11).

TDH

TDH I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day!


You've wondered what, why, who, how I could say that so freely so allow me to explain why it is offered so freely from me to you.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

All of these apply to you today and tomorrow but what sort of confirms it is that it's been really easy and fluent. Daily it's being preserved, and for these I am always grateful and will always express these things. I once thought that love would elude me always. What I know you can't see is that no longer do I live there. Today I now know that Corinthians love cannot be contained, and when it is set free and freely given, it returns onto you fully charged and in acceptance of all that comes along with it. Tiffany it has and continues to amaze me just how much your lil butt has enlightened me. While I've always been covered under grace, I failed to realize that a promise of love was spoken over me long before the creation of me. Being that life lives and will live regardless, it was through you that such a revelation was birthed. So yes, your name was used and no it shall not be deleted. Because of you, I now live again with expectation to expect all.

Thanks babes.....


This is me..this is who I am..I gotta pay attention to the whispers

Questions

Do you know my likes and dislikes, or are you so complacent that those things elude you? Did you hear what I said or were you listening to what you wanted to hear? Have I not revealed myself enough to you, that you may want to stand alongside me? Have you chosen to look upon this thing with blinders on and live through limitations? Does not the sound of my voice leaves an expectation of more to come? Have you seen delight in my eyes as I settle upon yours? Have you opened yourself with the knowing that connections are made this way? Have you rested on the possibility of possibilities? Do you know that I’ll cover you through anything? Do you know that all that is mine is proposed for you too? Have you heard life within me as I converse with you? Has your mind convicted you beyond doubt and arrested you the thought that my love is YOUR love? Has love surprised you in ways you hadn’t thought of previously? Do you know I’ll stand for you? Can you feel me? Do you understand me? Do you know I’d wait a lifetime for you? Do you know time that which is given is always a gift and this time has been nothing but a gifting event for me? Do you realize that something meant for darkness has brought such a powerful and beautiful light unto me? To answer that first question, it is you and the thought of ever losing that.

To The Point

Woman your skin calls to me and I sit anxiously awaiting its call. This will not be long, nor evasive, but it will be straight to the point. As I rest here and search into your eyes, I am connected to your making. It's quite amazing just how you've rested upon, inside and out of my thoughts. I'm missing you, even as you rest next to me now, but as the song says, sometimes you make me smile even though no words are spoken, but through subtle moments I am awaken in your beauty. As I said, this will not be long, nor evasive but straight to the point, so here it is...Woman, friend, confidant, lover and better half of me, I end with, I love you!

Bored

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack done gone and said some ish that got his azz kicked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, I just hope she’s on the pill.
Little boy Peep ended up being a freak.
Any, many, miny moe, tonight I’m trying to find the one that’ll be my H**.
Abra kadabra, all aka zam, don’t know why I’m thinking of lil BAM BAM.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock – man that lil mouse gone get shot!
Jack and the bean stalk – yeah…what was up with that anyway? Just saying!

She is something ELSE

Live a Little

Ok, so the world was supposed to end at 6pm today and it is now 7pm, so I guess it’s safe to say it ain’t happening. I couldn’t help but think should anything be changed prior to the end. Should I do anything different? I mean, I kind of like my life and the people in it. As with anything I know there are some changes that if made would benefit me and my love ones but overall, deep down what changes would be so drastic that it literally changes the makeup of me. Spend more time with love ones? Read more? Pray more? Travel more? Yeah, yeah stuff like that, but any abnormal change would not be genuine and therefore would not reflect the purity of me; correct? Yeah, I’m rambling on and on but hey these are my thoughts. I ponder life’s questions often and I believe that you must grab it by the horns and enjoy the ride. Live to live and live to discover the undiscovered. Wrap yourself up in the loves of your life and allow it to take you to new places; places you hadn’t even thought of. Its experience has been created just for you and you just for it. See it and lay against it.

Through the Dark

Through dark, woman I will feel my way through to you
Close your eyes and glide along with me
Let this breeze flow freely between the chemistry between us
Take me in slowly like a fine slow aged wine
Feel every representative of my soul as I touch the making of you
Woman your pleasure is my quest
So be the director to these hands and guide me along the right spot (s)

Whisper what you’ve never uttered prior
As I dance to the groove of your hip motion
place
Those chocolate legs around the waist that grinds upon you

Imma be here for a moment so rest your cares onto me as
These hands that brush along the smooth beauty of your face be
Allowed to take you further than any distance you’ve been measured

Deeper I will seek your burst all the while pulling, grabbing, touching and kissing
Along your canvas, I will become Picasso
This moment was danced along time prior to now


and oh so how I’ve waited for this
and so...
I can hardly contain the beat that hearts beat for you

You’ve breathed next to me, but
Tonight the race of your lungs catching up to the rhyme of
The sounds of making love
Shall be the delicacy that tongues desire
As I taste the pleasure of
All of you
From your making to every fiber of YOU and
Through darkness, I will paint your beauty, so that it stains my thoughts always

For Me

Life is short and you never know when your moment will come. Sounds blah blah blah but you truly never know when you are done. Today I’m tired. I’m tired of keeping things in, even though I don’t know how else to be. I’ve seen death come in many forms and at random times so you’d think this death wouldn’t be so difficult to swallow but it is. With tears forming in my eyes the feeling of alone settles up against me. The world lost a good person this week. I mean an overall good person. You know when someone is just good to be around? Someone who cared not for themselves first? Yeah, that kind of person was lost this week and I’m trying to deal with it bravely but all I want to do is lean on someone and shed a tear or two. This has been a reflection type of experience for me, as so often death does, and it has made me look differently upon many things. One of the things I look upon is the saying, give and it shall be given unto you, but tonight as I write this I question it. Another is knowing based off feeling and I think that maybe knowing is really not knowing anything at all (hard to explain). I’ve liked who I am because I consider myself to think of others first and would give my all to anyone in need or so I hope. I don’t put my worries or feelings out there much because I don’t trust that they will be protected, but sometimes I want to just rest with someone and transparently reveal myself. It is then that a release can take place. I trust in God and know that He is my comforter but I also believe in people that He places in my life and therefore look (sometimes) to them to just know. Can you not see that I am not myself or is it that you care not? No this is not to you, it is for me. I moved people out of my life and I believe that you must do this continually throughout life but sometimes it is not that a removal is needed but more a conversation that’s needed. Writing helps me in so many ways and I can feel the power of it moving as I express myself through words. Lord, I am broken in a couple different ways and I need your help to put me back together again. You know my heart and you know what I need, so I ask that you simply be who You are to me. I’m tired. I can’t carry these things much longer, so will you send me help and when you do, do not allow me to mess it up in any capacity. Well that’s all I got to say tonight.

Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

My Name is Jade

So you wanna know if I got another side huh? Look partna, I will never hesitate to whip ass as needed. Big, medium or small, they all fall the same. I will take a beat down too, but you best believe my return will be fire like you’ve never seen. Why question a history that you play no part in? Don’t you know you should always know the history before you start the battle? Look, my silence is golden but when and if I have to speak on this level, rest assured there are consequences behind responses. I don’t believe in cocking back unless necessary, to which all I’ll say is yeah ok, but these hands will break down the best of em. Yeah, so uh that’s enough of word slanging, now get at me when you ready. Oh and in case you forgot, my name is Jade!

You Gone Walk With Me?

You gone walk with me? You gone trust that my footsteps will lead to you into fresh unchartered paradise? Do you realize that that would be my desire? Do you understand that there would be no limits to how high I’d reach for you? Do you know that I would make it my business to complete you? Do you distinguish that I’d expand your mind in efforts to compose your destiny like a fine tuned symphony? You should allow me to explore you like a dark, deep, moist cave that has never been discovered. Sanction me against you like I was made for you, is where I’d like to be. Would I be allowed to be your puff to your coco? Do you know that I want to be your beginning, middle and end? Do you know that I want to learn you like a,b,c’s? Woman, these footsteps will carry you when you’re in need, when you are ready. Do you know that I pray over you and ask that angels protect you in all of your coming and going? Do you know that your smile provide life? Do you know that I’d plant “us” in fertile ground? I see my gift in your eyes; did you know that? Would you mind if I danced a life with you? Yeah, I’d love to experience that kind of paradise with you. So um, are you gone walk with me?

My Name is Jade

With power comes these things: I’ll get that for you… You stay put, I got it… What do you need… Is there anything I can do?

The unusual moments that creep up that you are not expecting are the ones that provide meaning in life. So there she was, in all her magnificence (yeah I used the right word) coming toward me and there was nothing that could release my eyes from her motion. Strangely enough I was deep into a conversation with someone at the very moment she passed by, but everything/everyone faded away with each step she made. Like a kid in a candy store I knew I had to have her and if it took setting up a lemonade stand to raise money, I was going to do just that so that I could go back and get my candy. Didn’t matter what obstacles lay ahead, all I knew was that I’d never experienced the fading of others in a given space and leaving only “her” within it.
If there is/was anything I was used to, it was getting what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted it. This would prove to be very different for me as her “no’s” became the norm. As you can imagine, anytime you have something worthy of fighting, you will do what you have to do to obtain it. I’ve always been laid back and let things roll off my shoulders because end the end, the ball always rolled to my corner but for some reason this damn ball would not play fair. With each passing day the lure of her grew. Now, yes yes yes, we spent a lot of time together and yes to any questions that may be running through your head, but that’s for another chapter in this book. Since the ball would not play fairly, she became the hour to my glass as our time began to run out due to other factors somewhat beyond my control. While things were not necessarily handed to me always, many times they were but the things I had to fight for are still with me today. She would prove to be no different as I was prepared to suit up my armor and battle for as long as it would take to obtain the desire of core. With so much to lose and gain, I was ready and marched in with weapons drawn (no not literally) and would find that a battle of adoration was like battling myself. There would be so many lessons I’d learn and challenges I push through. Along with some losses, I’d gain some victories but with each clash I’d become stronger for what rest ahead and what rest ahead, not even I was truly prepared for. This is my story and my name is Jade!

Pensive Moment

Pensively in time I lay tired and at wits end. Not sure why I’m reminded of Kings famous words of, “Mine eyes have seen the coming of”, but it’s mystifying at this moment as mine eyes, touch, taste, smell, gift and present have danced in the space of music that is yet not available. To its rhythm I have moved and its cosmos has opened to my existing within it. Have mine eyes deceived me and I’ve visited an unrealistic touch of possibility? Occupation so rich and near that I can taste it, yet its holder clamps firmly on yesterday’s experiences. Still, still I rise (thanks Maya) ready, willing and able to face lost dreams through the hope to which I remain a prisoner of. A piece of me dies daily for a gift that came at exactly the right moment, because I am unable to fully unwrap its offer on me, yet I will tell the mind to rest now, and think no more of yes we can’s but rather rest in your comfort to know that an imprint left behind in space, remains persistently a voice of faith.

Tide

Don’t know how much longer I can exist in this capacity because it staggers me into positions that are not conducive to whom I am. There’s a song that says, “Sitting at the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away” and while it may be a comforting view, I’d want to jump in and roll with it. Take me wherever it will and allow me to experience the full ride of its journey. It’s a beautiful view from where I’m sitting and I want the view to last a while but there are clouds forming on the horizon. I’ll face them with preparation and hope that the beauty to which I am comforted in returns to rare form and hugs me tightly with its charm.

Inspiration

Inspiration comes from many places and there is beauty in it all, if you open up to it. Words on a page, a smile from that someone, a night’s sky, a change of seasons, a baby’s rest, and the nature that lives amongst us are just a few things that provide food to our thoughts. Everything that makes us who we are needs nurturing in some form or fashion. Today my rest came from two places. The first was smile that always opens my pores and allows for fullness to overtake every aspect of who it is that I am. Everything fades when I am under it and it lays upon me and provides comfort and rest; as if to say, “peace be still. I got this.” The second were words on a page which providing a lesson that fed my unknowingly need for the day. To me there is nothing greater than giving and I was reminded that it is who I am, and who I am cannot live fully without sharing my “water” with others. So today I send my words on this paper to myself. Let it be a reminder that, that which I drink shall also be poured out in return.

My Name is Jade

I’m not sure if you ever truly let go of your past. It is what defines me now. If it were not for it, I would not be who I am today. The thing that I grapple with is sometimes it feels easy to become trapped or more less drawn back into it. Power and ability are strong enough to stay with you through whatever you face in life and to have had it at will sometimes carry over into other aspects of my life. The thing that adds to that power is the fact that it was done in silence. Diddy and Biggie were right when they said, “bad boys move in silence”. To me that’s a piece that is lost in todays “world”. Silence is dead. It’s dead from every aspect of the word too. If you are hustling, you feel the need to let the world know and that’s a concept that I just don’t understand. I need to offer up a small piece of advice or wisdom lol…. Those that are seen but not heard are those with power and those that are heard will never be seen as anything but a thug. Last thing… a thug never stays around for long. My name is Jade…

My Name is Jade

Come on and fly with me. Keep up if you can. I will need you to dig your heels in, put on your belt and hold on tight. There will be moments when you want to shut your eyes, and when you get that urge, I suggest that you do. Look, all I’m saying is that I know that you’ve never experienced anything close to what I am about to show you. That doesn’t mean be afraid, it means be prepared. Understand that what I am telling you real and you should not doubt it. This, this right here will cause you to think beyond what you are accustomed to thinking. As a matter of fact, let’s call this experience an expansion. You ready? This is my world and my name is Jade.

I Bought You

You was on sale and so I bought you. I didn't really want you, nor did I have a taste for you but the price was good so a purchase was made. I set you on the counter and gave you no mind and figured I'd get to you when I got to you. You seemed content with where I placed you. Time passed and there you stayed and I gave no mention of you. Before long it was time to replace you and it meant nothing to me. The price I'd paid were pennies in a bucket and just like that you was out with the trash. Not a thought was given of you, and all...all...because you didn't value your own you!

Sister you are more than a body! You are priceless!

Heart of Opportunity

Can a heart be in 2 places? I have heard this question asked before and for me the answer is hands down no. You only have 1 heart to give and/or share, so when you place it in a place, it is there to remain until you take it away. Sure your thoughts can be in many places but when one has the heart of another, then the one with it holds the box of opportunity. It is for them to understand the opportunity and too protect it as needed. Protection comes in many forms and I mean it in many ways. I may distract someones attention but if a heart is taken then the distraction will be limited by time; that is to say, only if the keeper of it protects it. A kingdoms weakness should never be revealed to others outside it because there are others that want it. Therefore a King is to protect, keep, cherish, feed and love his kingdom and understand the needs of it. If another makes their way into the kingdoms chambers then it is bound to fall, as now the other has tasted its offers and shall surely desire it as their own. Keep what you cherish, under protection and listen to the heart of your opportunity.

Motionless Life

She is all that makes life move but yet I am motionless to reach her. No matter which words I choose for they fall upon deaf ears. From flowers to gifts they all end in failed attempts. Through phone calls and text message an expression is given, only to be deleted and not taken in. From and through effort a design is formed, and through determination something new is born. From those I find ways to feed my purpose even when adversity stares me in the eye and says I cannot or will not obtain that which you seek. Look at me, all ready, willing and able to transcend "myself's" still body and transform it into a seamless work of you. You may not see, feel, taste or touch the meanings of these words but I pray that one day you may find that my move is contoured to your motion and that its outline is dotted with you as a part of me. Do I write more or have these black letters on this white paper said enough? ....to be continued....

Come Outside

Come on outside and enjoy this days spring air
Lap me up with dew delight
Start another moment but make it fresh
Live in the moment with care

Watch me move all around you
Catch me as deep as you can
Ha ha, stop and smell my roses
Taste this new

Pause for second in your mind
See what pleasures abound
Feel its breathe among you
Go slowly, for we have nothing but time

Hey you, yes you, whose smile matches my offer
Look your garden is full of passions fruit
I've supplied the fertilization to your moon
All that is needed now is to remove the buffer

Yeah it's a nice day to be out
I wanted you to have joy in every corner
I'm at your back while reaching your front
After today you'll have no doubt

Bet you hadn't planned on this
Surrounded by the essence of essence
OMG just for you?
It's your everything that once was your wish list

Slowly, slowly I will treat you to today's gift
You see, you touch, you taste, you experience
All, all that I've come to give
And presented to you; will you except ****?

Elijah Christopher-Dey House

I remember singing to you inside your mothers womb. I remember rubbing her belly, and every time I did, you would move closer to my hand. I knew you could hear my voice and feel my touch, long before you would see the light of this world. I remember seeing you for the first time. You were so small and covered in body fluids. The doctors/nurses took you to be washed, measured and weighed you, and all the while you never really made a sound. I remember the first time I held you in my arms; to my joy, you smiled. I lifted you up to my face and smelled your beautiful skin. My nose to yours, my eyes to yours, I knew my life would never be the same again; it would be forever better. Tears formed in my eyes, as it was a love I'd never experienced. I swear I got you to smile at me the day that you was born lol. I get a little teary eyed now as I think about your first day with me. I could tell that you felt at home with me as I held you. There were many people there to greet you, but when I held you first and it were as if I were holding an angel. You had on one of those hospital caps lol, looking like joy. I have had many joyful moments with you and I want you to know that daddy will always love you. I've loved you long before the light of this world shined upon you.

Learning Love

I often write about love as I've been blessed to experience, taste, touch, smell, give, except, witness and miss it, so it breathes in me and with everything in my lungs it expresses me. Ironically I miss its exposure to me as it is dangled in front of me only to never be had. I learn from it though. Things like words and their meaning. Things like expressions and the things behind them. Things like desires and the reason for them. Things like expectations and why they are placed. Things as simple as a touch or peck on the cheek and the offer applied to them. Forms of love come in many packages and I am thankful that today I learn just what love truly is and how it truly conforms to the many situations that abound me daily. More recently I touched a future of endless joy and possibilities and enjoyed its feel and with its touch came the pause of loves power. Yet today I still dance in loves melody, as I've learned that it's a gift and any pleasure in it should be placed as joy. So I have joyfully watched smiles, dances, touches, kisses, hugs, laughter and even arguments pass over time and I so look forward to today's gifts.

Confusions Light

Confusion use to surround me but now more clearer do I see things. As if trapped by loves blinding light, I could not make sense of the beauty before me. I could feel the design of it's contour and knew that its makeup was created to fit my layout, but for reasons beyond my realm I could not make the pieces of "now", fit the pieces of "yes". It was my bridge of clouds that I felt was my destiny and I was ready to walk it. "Here, grab my hand and follow me", and with that a reach back was left void. Was the bridge placed for me? Would I have enough faith to still trust that it was? Unmoveable and strong was the connection I felt while standing on it. Indeed must I walk it, even if no hand was there to bind mine. What a tall order to fill, but along the way I discovered how easy the journey would be and the clouds to which I once viewed were suddenly clear and there was no more confusion and there stood the light of love and all her beauty was truly defined as - YOU!

My Name is Jade

So there I was sitting in the back seat of a police car. Humiliated as people were walking by to see who was sitting in the police car. I tried to lean down but the officer said, "sit up". It was a feeling I'd never forget but sadly it was a feeling I would experience more times then I would have liked too. I was booked into custody which meant I was finger printed, photoed, searched and had all my property that was on me taken, even my clothes. I was given an orange jump suit and oh, they took my drawls too because they were not white. FYI if you are committing crimes, I'd suggest that you were white underwear just in case you get caught, you can leave them on. After being given a peanut butter sandwich and milk (which I gave away) I, along with others were led to our new "rooms", better known as jail cells. Now I was arrested around 1pm and didn't get into my room until 2am. Yeah, it's a process and I think it's a process that is setup to piss you off.

The next morning, the lights came on and the jail cell doors were unlocked. It was time for breakfast. Locked up for the first time causes your appetite to go away, so I planned to just sit and wait until someone came to bail me out; only I wasn't the only person in my cell and he offered some advice to me, "I'd come get this food cuz. It's gone be a while before they come back around". So I jumped down off my cot and walked toward the line to which the food was being handed out. As I reached the door and looked down at the officer passing the food out, I realized I knew him and he realized the same, but there are moments when you know not to acknowledge such things, and this was definitely not the moment. It was simply an understanding between us. Surprisingly that moment would change my life forever and would be both a positive and negative experience for some time to come.

My name is Jade

All

I live. I learn. I love. I'm thankful that I am allowed to do them all.

Footing In Good

Do you not think that if I am pushed I will not move? Though my footing is grounded and planted in fertile soil, as with anything that brings non-unity, one must be moved. I look not for your push but for your stance. Your stance at my side to catch me if I fall. I look for your words to uplift me when my world is uncertain. I look for your nurture to keep me where I need keeping. If you are not there for these things, my place is darkened. If you are not there my light is dimmer. Don't you know that your presence feeds my soul? Don't you know that your smile freshens my air? Do you not know just how much you've become needed in my universe? Do you not know I pray for your rest? Do you know not that I will always stand in your battle, ready, willing and able to take on anything in an effort to build with you a new something? I place my foot where it is ordered and every foot print I leave behind takes me right back to you. Now, now it's time for those foot prints to walk along-side you.

Word To The Wise

Word to the wise, open your eyes and notice the purpose in front of you. Notice how protected you've been. Notice how you came out of nothing and made something. Notice that those situations that should have killed you, didn't. Notice that you keep being blessed in every way possible. Notice that all your needs are met, and many of your wants are too. Notice that the things you use to worry about are no longer a concern. Notice that your future is brighter than it's ever been. Notice that you are truly surrounded by love. Notice that the relationships you have now have are meaningful. Notice that the people around you are blessed. Notice that you live with such inspiration. Notice that your gift is aways being manifested. Notice that the little things mean more than a lot of the bigger things. Notice that you have so many options. Notice that whatever you choose ends in blessings. Notice that you stumbled but never hit the ground. Notice that when you are weak, you were carried. Notice that you wrote this without any hesitation. Word to wise, never, never forget these things and be glad and rejoice in all that He has done for you and continues too.

?

What else was I suppose to do or be? If you only knew the things I've seen.

Sun Shine Between My Blinds

Good morning sun shine as you squeeze between the blinds and dance upon my face. Good morning to the scent that you bring from morning dew. Good morning to the musical outside my window. Good morning and thank you for the applause given by the trees that sway in your winds. Good morning to thought of one day waking next to you daily. Good morning to the embrace that awaits me. Good morning to the smile that is forever painted in my thoughts that is so perfectly captured by the light of the day. Good morning to the fact that I've been allowed to all this beauty and for that I say GOOD MORNING!

Afraid

I love you and I ain't afraid to say it. I think about you and I ain't afraid to say it. I want you and I ain't afraid to say. I wonder what you're up too and I ain't afraid to say it. I ain't afraid...

Hi God

Hi God. Thank you for today and yesterday. Thank you for words that allow for expression. Thank you for giving thought to me. Thank you for the many angels that imcamp themselves around me to protect me from any hurt harm or danger. Thank you for not giving up on me, and continuing to feed into me. Thank you for favor over my life. Thank you for your presence in my life. Thank you for those that pray for me. Thank you for family, friends and those that you place in my life to serve a purpose. Thank you that you allow me to sometimes bring light into a situation. Thank you, thank you for forgiving me of my short comings and failures and teaching me to do better. Thank you for all that you do, not only for me, but for the countless others that you do for. Please allow anyone that is near me to experience you on a whole new level. I want them all to blessed in everything thing that they do. Please continue to mold, shape, guide and keep me near you and on the right path. Do not allow me to fall short of your glory. Redirect me unto you so that I may remain with you at all times. Strengthen me where I am weak! I need you like never before and thank you for being with me like never before. Thank you for your son who saves me daily. Thank you Father.

My Name is Jade

I remember it like it was yesterday. The first bag of weed I sold was in a park. I'd dove right in by buying my way in and off my name. While I'd been around drugs all my life, I hadn't tried any, nor had I sold any. My boy said, "aight, you up! He gone want the same thing everytime you see him", which was an ounce of weed. In my earlier days I always carried a pistol and that day was no exception. I must say I was nervous. I mean, I didn't know this dude from no where and I was about to get into a truck with him to conduct business. If there's one thing I knew about this business, it was that you can't trust no one! All kinds of thoughts were running through my head: Is this a setup? Is this nigga gone try to rob me? How much is an ounce again? How much change is he suppose to get? Yeah all kinds of thoughts. I was so consumed, it's amazing I didn't shoot the dude from nerves alone lol. All-in-all, the business went smooth and only took a few seconds. A few words, weed and money was exchanged and just like that, we were done and I'd made my first "profit", which was something like $50 in a few seconds. Now understand, my supply didn't come from your average supplier so my profits were better than my competitors. Yep, that's how my first pitstop went. I wonder if he remembers my name....Jade.

My Name is Jade

You ever look around the room and feel an advantage? Whether it's beauty, smarts, ability, charisma or wisdom you can sense an advantage. Maybe it's you or another person in the room, it's undeniable. I've found myself in all types of rooms with all types of personalities and there were many times where I felt that I had the advantage. It's probably because I'm an observer more than anything else. I just notice things that others tend to overlook. Tonight was different though; as I found myself separating thoughts and formulating a plan to work both sides of an idea.

As with most things, places and people, there's competition, but instead of competing why not combine the resources to a new never before done structure. I mean, why fight over something that seemingly is never going to run out. How do I remain in the "competition", but not really be competing? How can I get the people in the room to want my way without them realizing that I'm playing both sides...shoot, in fact, I'm playing all sides. This could certainly get me killed, but it could also give new meaning to power. Let's face it, people in this business don't last long without true power. So knowing that, I'd have to learn how and when to acquire it.

You have many "levels" of a "drug business" and each "organization" is ran differently, just as Coke-A-Cola is ran differently from Pepsi. Understanding that there are differences is important but understanding what the differences are is more important (at least from my standpoint). Everything from where a plant is harvested, grown and picked is important because it all starts there. From there, there's the "chemist" which does any necessary missing, cutting, adding etc. before it is ready for large scale packaging. With any package there's shipping and with any shipping there's a recipient and ultimately they are distributor. The one making the money in this is the owner of the "packaging" process. Think of it as a sweat shop; the first person touching the item is the one in the sweat shop and from there it grows, but the one in the middle is actually the one on top. They control everything and therefore they are the ones with power. They are known as "kartels". They have close ties to every level of the "business" and their reach goes a lot further than you may think. If you want to get to that level, you better be prepared for anything that WILL come your way and you better not flinch a muscle when you do. This is my story and my name is Jade.

Make of Heaven

Will you come look at this... This smooth chocolate, gorgeous angel that seemingly was sent by the heavens is here with me. Like how did I get so lucky to have her desires swing into my corner? How in a sea of plenty, all is calm in the midst of a storm? Her smile stops my concerns and her embrace speaks a foreign language thats only for my ear. Stories are told in the pit of her eyes that tell tales that not even her mind is prepared for. Come see how the storm doesn't even touch her and her beauty remains in place. I can't even look away from its pull. She'll always be this in my eye of this I am certain. This...this make of heaven.

Dance With Me

creep up next to me like smooth music and dance to this flow. Move right to my left and swig to my sway and be my swag that's like wow. woman touch me like the bass vibes in the corner that makes this motion flow like loving thats right and good. Not only expressed through words but unspoken outbursts of woo. Push up on this like I'm the 1! The 1 that after we twine you gone wanna tell somebody but you'll better not too. shake that curvature that keeps my poetic rhythm in sync. adjust my tempo to match that sway of your ocean as i dive in feet first, only coming up for brief breaths of life. Yeah, move that fiber of you as its nutrition is absorbed into me. feel our bodies stretch into new areas and let the sweat of your creams pour over me until we cum to the end of our motion.

Hey DJ, rewind that!

In Box

It's interesting that some of these post were written a long time ago and yet they flow with all the writings on here.... well duh it is the same author.

Ok so I am getting in boxed now, so here's what i'd like for you to do...if you have poems, send them to me and i will post it and give you all the credit.

No Title

Woman I will love you for the rest of my days. You have been a pleasure in everyway. In many of them, it has been a surprise. While I may not get the chance to have you in the capicity I'd like, I will delight in the measure we shared. You've taught me things along the way and I pray that they remain with me always. I'm not going to list the many things that light my face when thinking of you, but I will say that it was all of you that did and some of what you didn't.

Wake Up Woman

Guess who's back, it's me people. I'm that brother that'll spit that game that'll have yo ass backing it up on me. Stop fronting like you don't know, cause I had yo ass up in the air just the other night. Stop it now! Anywho, yeah I'm back to let yawl know that the game has changed a lil. For those that don't know what I mean, all I'm going to say is that things ain't always as they seem. Yeah, we (men) got dirt, but don't be so crazy to think that these chickens ain't got none too. Yeah you might be laying in another mans wet spot, if you know what I mean. Heck it could be mine...shoot if she bout 5'7 with light brown eyes and curly hair, then you might wanna check yo sheets. I'm just saying. Yeah so anyway these women ain't playing no mo. My dude my advice is to get yo world back from these chics and recognize that the game has been stolen right from underneath you. Stop buying these broads shit. Stop taking them out to dinner and buying flowers in shit. Don't be making them cd's and taking them on trips. Man cut all that out dude! Man look, all these chics want is dick and money...that's it! They ain't looking for no substance as nigga. They don't care that you got standards. They ain't trying to hear all that shit! Yeah yeah, I feel you...they all say that that's what they want but bottom line when that shit is presented, they gone run right to me and imma have that ass up in the air without lifting a finger. Shit matter of fact imma be hitting it while looking at the pretty ass flowers you got this chic. Man so what that you wanna do right! Christian?!? What dat mean? Man look, money and dick...dick and money....look my dude, I got em both and a nigga ain't hurtin for no bitch, ya dig...Now on the other hand, what you got to show for yo punk ass gifts? or yo soft as music? or any of that shit you be doing? Man, I'm just saying, cut that shit out! These women don't want that shit and they don't care how beautiful you may see them as. Stop telling em that crap! They ain't listening... You be trying to feed into them, but are they returning the favor? Hell no they ain't! So stop that shit! Let them keep dropping those drawls and giving me exactly what I want from them, which ironically is - NOTHING!!!

Sorry I missed You

Love don't live here anymore. I'm sorry but there was a sale on another house that couldn't be passed up. Love packed up and took all it's possessions with it. Love did leave a note behind just in case you showed up looking for it. I can't find it right now but I did memorize it. It went like this:

Sorry I missed you or better yet sorry you missed me. Its been good but you and I know this house was meant to be a home and your keys just never fit these locks. This house was built with a 2 car garage which fit us well, but you stayed out trying to find that 3rd door. These was walls were made to keep and protect us, but you seemed determined to knock them down. The colors that we picked displayed such charm but all the while I ignored your true color that was before me. Oh I cleaned the windows after being inspired by you as I now see right through...you. While the space you now stand is empty, it was once filled with substance and I pray that you remember it, cause where you now lay your head is filled with poverty beyond monetary. I'm still hoping that you find what it is that you are looking for out there, but yeah I had to go. I found a new house and I am enjoying making it a home. You should stop by one day when you find the time. Sorry but no you can't come here; it's just simply not made for you.

P.S You'll always have a place in my heart, no matter how small it may be :)

Future

I wish I could make it clear just how much you mean to me. The only way to let you know is simply to tell you.

You mean the future to me

Happy Thursday

This Aint For You

Excuse me but uh this ain't for you. You had it but misused it. It was yours but you didn't appreciate it. You overlooked it's charm and settled for bland. You kissed it away as it was seeking you. You questioned its meaning and all the while it was designed for you. You didn't reach back when an extend was needed. You didn't stand, but rather you rode the bench in spectator mode. You didn't believe in the possibilities and killed hope. You thought sex would keep me, but boy were you mislead. You thought beauty would be enough but...WHAT, WHY?!? You ignored every dream and let them die without a fight. You didn't expect me to bounce but then again I'm not surprised you thought that way. Yeah this most certainly ain't for you! No really this ain't for you!

Keyboard

F and J is the way I want your touch to be. Run across me like the K and D underneath you. Feel me up as if I'm the S and L at your ring finger. A I'm talking to you who grips my space of rest. Now put it into action and some C about me.

My Name is Jade

My father made a name for himself and to this day there are untold stories. I was reminded of some of them the other day while riding with my brother. During small talk my brother said, "man for a minute I swore we were a mob family", and I couldn't help but remember that he was not my dad's son (directly that is), so in some ways he didn't get the full understanding of my bloodline. I wanted to tell him that yes the black mob existed and yes we were surrounded by it daily, but I kept silent.
You see I learned early that silence is golden and it is very powerful. My father never hesitated to take me around situations. I'm not sure why he felt so comfortable doing so, but none-the-less, that's what he'd do. I remember a night where my father and I went to some ladies house and there were other kids there playing video games. He told me to stay put for a minute and that he'd be right back. He was dressed in all black and he was wearing a leather jacket (shoot I'd like to have that jacket now). I could tell that something wasn't right but I also knew that I needed to follow my fathers orders. No sooner than I turned my back to go play with the other kids, I heard "No, come on man, it wasn't me" and it was followed by 2 distinctive sounds. 1 was the sound of a man being slapped and the other was the echo that rang through the house which came from a bullet being fired into someone. I am not sure if you've ever heard a sound like that but I can promise you that it's a sound that you would never forget. Of course all of us that heard it, stopped what we were doing and starred down the hall awaiting for what was next and the what next would be my father coming and saying, "aight, let's roll pal". I'm smiling now, not because of what I heard but I remember that that was his name for me...Pal.
We never spoke of the sound or anything about the house, kids or anything. It was just an understanding that silence was golden. It's amazing what my ears have heard and eyes have seen, but what's more amazing is that I've never spoken of any of these things over the 30 years I've been around.
These are my memoirs and my name is Jade!

Recently Discovered

I discovered something on this walk and thought I'd share it. With one step at a time you arrive at your destination with many memories captured along the way. All the beautiful sights taken in and all the labor that went into your ordered steps were not in vain but placed you in a new promise. A promise that with focus and determination you are were you are need to be. It's a nice feeling to get there but it's also just as nice taking the stroll. You've laid upon me many a day and so nice it was to realize that your heartbeat matched mine, just like that line a movie I once saw. Beat for beat, step for step it was as though purpose had finally been found. I knew at that moment my pace was truly designed to produce beauty and I looked forward to it in many forms. I slowly noticed that we shared many other things too, all of which I smile upon even now. The tone of your skin, the delight in your smile and even the comfort in your touch. Ready-set-go, the race was on, only there was no shout of "go", but still I ran. I see a thing and go, but you teach me to stay in stride and embrace the moments that surround me. Embrace them slowly too. Instead of running into my tomorrow, I'm living in my today.

She Spit Her Passion

She done spit her passion on my heart and I can taste its delight and frankly I enjoy it. She done sent my world into a tailspin and I'm enjoying the ride. She done uplifted my spirit and I want to go higher. She done smiled at me in many of my dreams and I can't wait to rest again. She done kissed my hopes and got me feeling all "yes we can". She done caught me off guard and imma leave my weapon behind. She done got me writing like I'm some sort of author and imma keep typing. She done touched my joy and I need her to not stop. She done got me saying things like don't stop and I'm hoping she won't. She done got me saying WTF and I'm still like WTF. She done hugged my space and I don't need it back. She done, done it and I done got use to wanting it to be done.

150 Hours

Something like 150 away from heaven
Awaiting to be saved
But no one is close enough to extend a line
Girl save me like only you can
I'm reaching for your hand but it's a distance away

-Chorus -

150 hours away from heaven
Tell me how to not think about it
150 hours away from heaven
Tell me how to hold on

-Verse II-

We've held on and experienced love
together
Held close, so close we've shared heartbeats
Your rhythm playing against my song
150 away from an ending tune
Girl save me like only you can

-Chorus-

150 hours away from heaven
Tell me how to not think about it
150 hours away from heaven
Tell me how to hold on

-Verse III-

Save me baby
Pull me from this pit
Hear my hearts beat
It's fading fast
I've got 150 hours to be away from heaven

-Chorus-

Tell me how
Tell me how to not think about it
150 hours away
150 hours away from heaven
Tell me how to hold on

Fading out....

If It Said

If it said stop, are you one to stop?
If it said go, are you one to go?

If it said speak, would you stand in silence?
If it said it's green, would you see yellow?

If it said quit, would you quit?
If it said love, would you love?

If it said write, would you drop your pencil?
If it said teach, would you abandon it?

If it said shoot, would you shoot?
If it said give, would you give?

If it said him, would you look for her?
If it said her, would you look for him?

When do you follow the vision that's been shown to you? How long will you question it?

I Ain't Saying Goodbye Tonight

I ain't saying goodbye tonight. Tonight you are going to be mine. Tonight you are going to give me all of you and I'm not just talking physical. I need your mind, body, soul and the life you have to share. Tonight I want to hear your essence sing. Tonight you are going to need to let the cares drift away. Tonight I'm going to fight your worries and any concerns you have. Tonight you will find comfort in these arms of mine. Tonight my pleasure will be passed onto you. Tonight I am yours and you are mine. Tonight see me in front of you and rest in the vision you see. Tonight the presence of peace will surround you and clarity will release you of your blocks. Tonight I am not asking for these things, but rather tonight you'll need these things and will desire them. Tonight our kiss will free our minds and there will be no words to speak, except these – Good Morning

Good Morning

Good morning sunshine. Thank you for waking me with your bright rays of joy. Ah what would I do without you? You bring so much to my day. Your energy rubs off onto me and gives me the ability to face all that is yet to come my way. Not that I'd like to but I couldn't escape your presence if I wanted too. You cover so much of my space. Funny thing is, I sometimes forget how much you are needed until you are away. Thank you for feeding me life and much abundance. Ah so nice to be in your glow. You'll be next to me for all the days of my life and it makes me thankful :).

My Name is Sarah

You have a gift! I don't know why or how you are able to do what you can, but it is something that was given to you and I believe it is something that is meant to be used. You have to focus and know this, this is your moment. Since you were little I've tried to push you into other things by not believing in you and yet somehow you managed to still push through to your genius. You taught me so much along the way. You never gave up no matter how much I tried. You get that from your mom. I see her in you everyday. She was such a champion of life and I have been too busy to see that everything about her passed to you. I lost love when she left and couldn't see the love that surrounded me everyday. Those moments where I wouldn't give my all, were all done out of fear. I've been afraid to love you fully because I've been afraid to lose you. Of course me being the idiot that I am, I managed to do that anyway. I am so sorry for not speaking into you. Everyday I wanted to hug you and tell you that you are my angle and that I will always love you. Everyday I wanted to tell you how proud I was of you and how proud she would've been too. (sniffle) Your mom... she'd want all of your dreams to made real, and she'd get on me to make sure I did my part to make them happen (smile).

You have to shine and now is your time to do just that. Shine brighter than any star! Go back out there and show them who you are! Show them the talent that I am proud of! Show them you know your stuff! I want you to show them how to LIVE! Go get em, Sarah!

Edward Lee Thomas

I don't know if you have ever been on this blog, but wouldn't it be nice if you did. Wouldn't it be nice if today was the day you found this page.

I love you. I miss you. I miss talking to you and hearing your laugh. I miss the advice you'd give me. I miss your protection. Man no matter what, I will always love you. I hope that one day I'll have my brother back because I miss you.

Choice

Hurt, sadness, pain, guilt, confusion, frustration, happiness, pleasure, excited and joy you get through it all. Some of those are your yesterday and it was meant to LIVE you in your today. If I could take those “bad” ones away and replace them with the “good”, I would. These are the things that make us, US and in the end it shapes us or better yet forms us into our uniqueness. These are poetic words, only you may not see the poetic side of them right now. I'll do the resting for you and bury the hurt in a place that cannot be found. I will turn your sadness into pure joy. Your frustration will be replaced vision and purpose. I will use that, that was harming for good and leave you confused about where the pain went; only you'll know who took it away. I will dead the guilt you may hold (PERIOD). My purpose is to bring you all that I have for YOU. What I have is truly ONLY YOURS! It is exciting for me to be able to share it with you because you are just that special. You are my beautiful TD and um H (lol). (I couldn't resist because I know he'd love that). Will you allow me to do these things for you? I can promise you that if you allow me inside, your life will never be the same and it will be definitely something that you will be glad you did. How about we do this... you just start talking to me whenever, and I will be here listening always.


P.S – Tell Earl that he has not been forgotten and that I am here for him always too.



Sincerely
God

Close Your Eyes and Sing With Me

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style.
And so I came to see him to listen for a while.
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on ...

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He was strumming, oh, he was singing my song.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...
With his song ...

New Color Please

Color me a new color please. I would prefer one that is translucent so that my blemishes will not stand out. I am not talking about my skin color either, but blot me out like a bad stain and make me over again. Erase me and replace me with all those nice Spring colors that everyone loves. Better yet blend me with Spring colors and sprinkle me with the colors of Fall. Wouldn't that be nice to see me painted in luminance? Forgotten would be the cares of yesterday and you'd wish to dwell in the calm I now bring. Marvelous how beauty seems to shape and form itself at the right time, but even more marvelous that even in it, it can be overlooked. Color me bold please. Yeah give me the paints that cannot be overlooked. Give voice to my presence and let it speak.... na, let it sing that exact melody you need. Pull me from something rare and something to keep, as I may pour out to you. Can I be your new background setting? Will you make me your new default color scheme? Color me in a place of new please.

Hurt

In a word

Freak!

Some you lose and some you gain and some of what you lose you gain.

You ever look up at the stars and marvel in the magnitude of it's splendor? Ever find yourself mesmerized at the beauty of it all? I mean you could literally find yourself looking at them for a while. Would you consider it a loss of time if you found yourself caught up in it? Would you find yourself looking up at them again?

I mean stars do offer up many things to one's person - such as comfort, peace, rest, calmness, beauty, amazement and many other things.

Man i was going somewhere with this but, honestly my mind is just not here tonight!

I enjoy my Lord. He places things on my heart and will not let me rest until I express it. As I clicked on the interview with God that is on this page (at the top lol), one thing stood out to me. Free! Everything we do is of our own free will. When it comes to love you cannot force someone to love you but rather you must be open to allowing love in your life. As I have stated before, I have a passion for love. It covers a multitude of sins and has the power to overcome all things. Love is easy to give for some and for some it is easily obtained. Of course love has different meanings to us and is expressed in many ways. My love is music, arts, people and apparently writing (wish it was reading lol). If not for expression who would we be? Who would I be? To freely express my love brings joy to me and it opens me up to new love when it's returned.

Carry these words within the winds of today's air. Fall in a place who's presently in need of it. Lay in the lap of them always. Touch even the doubtful with it's power. Fertilize the life within our lungs so that the exhale will be new and fresh. Season me as the motions of the year. Stay a while longer, please....

I love you

IDK

Nights like this i wish, that rain drops would fall. Perfect chorus tonight. Ok so this is one of those nights where i have nothing particalur to write about. Um,i guess i'm a little lost tonight. Where are those freaking rain drops. Like for real, where are they. Shoot i need sleep like right now. I'm so ready to close out this weekend. Guess that's what i get for missing church today. ok, i'm outta here cause this feels like i'm twittering lol....holla

When You Make It Home

When you make it home, will I still exist within the capacity that I've endured. Will you still look at me with blocked passion in your eyes. Will your touch change. Will your smile dimmer. Will your peace cease to remain in my comfort. Will your language speak an unknown vow. Will your essence be removed. Will your need be amputated. Will your kiss still linger days in your absence. Will your love be void. Will your need to whispered away. Will your dreams be changed.

When you make it home I will exist in your pleasure. I will have no obstacles in my vision that prevents me from getting to you. My touch will burn with passion for you. My smile will not be able to be contained. My rest will be found with you and it will provide comfort to my soul. I will speak a new, new into you. I will need to borrow your essence for a while. You will be my left to my right and your move to my way. My kiss will teach you a good lesson to replace any troubled ones. I will provide you a love that will never bounce. I will not be able to contain my utterance that cries out "love". My dream will never be departed, even in your lost.

When you make it home......

Fly

Let me go so that I may fly
Kiss me away like the fall leaves
Watch me sore as the clouds in the sky
Teach me how to breathe
Lesson me a gift that last a lifetime
Aim me high enough to be seen always
Keep me near and enjoy me like fine wine
Talk with meaning and love me in good ways
Read me like a classic novel
Push back when need be
Open up so that I may not grovel
See me standing in front of you on bended knee
Color me bad like ending spring delight
Take me before I end
Come with me as I take you to new heights
Wake next to me daily and we'll do this all over again

To Me

Don't cheat yourself on anything. Go for what you want and get an understanding of what "it" is before making a decission. Live for Christ and for you and know that nothing happens for nothing but rather there is a purpose for all. When you cannot make sense of the situation seek advice from wisdom and wisdom will lead you right but understand the wisdom you seek must be covered. Enjoy today :)

My Name is Jade

"Dude, I got something I need you to do. Do you still have your CDL and access to a truck?"

Telling a story from a point of view that allows others to know exactly what you mean is not always easy, but I'll do what I can. Actually, I'll try to tell you from my view.

There I was, yet again about to be involved in something that could take my freedom away. What the hell am I thinking and why does this keep happening shit! Um, but there could really be some money in this if I roll with it.
Ok, so if I'm in, I'm doing it my way. I have a list of things that must be done before anything is touched or setup. Number 1, I need to know how many people are involved. 2. I meet only you. 3. I will set the date and time so I will need to know the location of this pick up and which trailer I need to look for. I know it's early in the game but get me that trailer information. 4. I roll alone! 5. I will need to know the address that the unload will take place. 6. Unloading this trailer will take time so I will need 4 people that you trust to be there to get this done ASAP. Those are 6 major request that must be followed to the letter. I need that information by Wednesday and I will roll on Friday. It must be ready by 9pm Friday. If any of this is not ready, you know I will bounce.

If there is one thing I know, it is that you must cover all your bases when conducting business. Of course me getting a truck would not be an issue (for reasons you may learn at a later post), but I had to make sure that the pick up location would be secure. FYI most shipping locations are very secure, so docking into a trailer at night is not as simple as plug and play. There's a process that is typically followed. I would basically have 1 day to make sure we wouldn't have any issues. 1st step, go to the shipping house and somehow get them to show me around the facility; which by the way was really simple. I mean they showed me around everything, including security or lack there of. Once I figured out how I would get my truck onto the property I had to figure out where the trailer would be. This was simple too because the person showing me around took me right to the trailer itself, only at the time it was empty. Wow, getting my merchandise would truly be a piece of cake, so now my next stop would be the unloading location which happened to be right in the hood. Of course people knew me and my car so I couldn't just roll up and scope the place like that. After all if you don't know this, people in the hood are nosey as hell and will walk up to you and ask what you're doing. Now they won't call the popo but they will ask. As you can imagine, I wouldn't be able to say, my name is Jade.

Writer Like No Other

The title to this blog is "Writer like "NO" other" and in many ways I am just that. Some of the posts are random thoughts, real life situations, non-fiction and whatever else comes to mind. Shoot I need to carry my laptop around with me everywhere I go because I often have random things pop into my head that I'd like to write about. I tend not to read what I post so there are some grammical errors throughout, but I don't wish to change that because it's part of the "NO" in NO other. There are many things that inspire me but the number thing that inspires me to write is love. Love has such an amazing ability. I believe that with love anything is possible. Even things you would not expect to be. After all it is the very thing that many of us truly seek (one way or another). Ok, i'm done with this post. I just felt the urge to write this, so here it is. I hope you enjoy reading it :) and if you don't, I gotta ask, what is wrong with you? j/k (sort of).

Dear John Letter

Dear you that smiles and brightens my world. Dear you that looks at me and somehow ease's my concerns. Dear you whose touch stops my breath. Dear you who makes a crowd disappear just by walking into a room. Dear you whom I'd wait a life time for. Dear you who's laugh brings a smile to my face. Dear you who's hug lets me know that I'm good. Dear you who's voice warms me. Dear you who's walk causes my head to tilt. Dear you who's loving is tremendously deep, wet, nice, fitted and needed. Dear you who's eyes tell tales of a story book. Dear you who's smart. Dear you who's kind. Dear you who's rare. Dear you who's hand I'd like to hold forever. Dear you that when you finally let lose and allows the connection. Dear you who's cheeks are so kissable (both). Dear you who's being missed right now. Dear you who's hair I'd like to play in right now. Dear you who's skin I can smell and taste right now. Dear you I'd give up a million dollars too. Dear you I hope you smiled at this. Dear you I don't want to spend another day without you. Dear you, you are loved and missed. Dear you, do you know i'm talking about you?

Yesterday Vs. Today

You can't live in your today if you are holding on to something from your yesterday.

Talk About Blessed

Man talk about blessed and make sure you through me in that conversation. I know that He covers me daily from weapons formed to take me out and from weapons I manifest myself. He provides for me in ways that leave me in aw. He heals me even before the pain. He talks and teaches me lessons, some easy and some difficult, but during His talks, He shows me through vivid visions. He still gives me free will to choose my path, but always taps me on the shoulder to remind me of the correct path to which He desires for me. He surrounds me with purity even when I turn away from it. He opens doors that were suppose to be closed according to man. He gives me favor for no reason. He carries me when I can do know more. He replenishes me when I all poured out. He heals me long before the illness. Mention His love for me during that conversation, but make sure you mention you as well because He loves you just as He loves me.

Un-removable Stain

Slowly she entered my thoughts and left an un-removable stain that I would enjoy for a moment or two. She slid on my issue and wiped away the sorrow of yesterday. Her laugh is recorded in my delightful place, to be played back at moments notice. Even her deepest unexpressed thoughts linger amongst my subconsciousness. A second has passed and I've shared my sentience with her and all that breathes within me echoes for more time. How favored am I to have held my gift of future in my arms and witnessed to it, the power that is? As with each passing moment this stain grows into something so beautiful that only God could have made. With time does the watering of it's seed become revelant to all that is bound by it. I cannot, nor do I desire to escape it's harvest of purity, peace, joy and love, but rather I bathe in it's splender. I will slowly allow it to settle into place as the foundation to my ramble and rejoice in the love that slowly entered my thoughts and left a un-removable stain on my heart.

My Name is Jade

"Pull your car into the garage and close it. Jimmy is upstairs waiting." I calmly head up the stairs, following the instruction that was just given to me. I make it outside and think WTF! Why would they have me walking into this freaking situation and they know this is no longer me! Would I be wrong to hope in the car and roll the hell out? I mean look, I didn't sign up for his crap! Shoot I can't roll out because obviously this car is loaded. Fuck it, let me pull it in. Just like that I was tapping the horn to have the door opened. Now understand, when this door opened, the average person would have probably pooped their pants because you know trouble when you see it. None-the-less I allow the door to close behind me and no sooner than I step out, Jimmy and 2 other men begin taking the car apart. Ok, ok for those of you that have never seen dope before you would have been truly in aw of the amount of dope that was pulled from this car. Shoot even I was like holy cow (in my head). I stopped counting the kilo's (keys, birds, etc.) after one of the guys went to get a wheel barrow for the back yard. This was enough blow to get us all locked up for a long time. See what you may not realize is that cocaine produces real time. The kind of time that yo boys snitch for.
I began to understand the true situation after a while and knew that the count had better be correct or I was not going home that night. Ok, now this part was kinda funny to me, as Jimmy used a toy walkie talkie to communicate with the home owner in the basement. The thing about toy walkie talkie's is that the reception is poor and you have to keep repeating yourself. You had to be there. Anywho, everyone that was in the basement finally made their way to the garage where it was all smiles. The homeowner looked at me and said, "good job" and tossed me a set of keys. "This is yours until I call". Just like that a major deal was done and me and the passenger that was with me on the way, rolled out in a mercedes E-class.
There was so much I had to say to my passenger but I knew I needed to get back to my area first. I must say that the drive was heart wrenching and long and I didn't know what exactly I was going to do about this situation. I mean 1, I was known to do things alone and not seen and now there I was amongst several faces conducting business that could take away my freedom overnight, all because this idiot next to me took me along on this flipping ride. Fuck it, I had to pull over to confront this dude. As soon as he heard the turn signal click, he knew it was on and uttered, "please keep going, I had no idea". I read people very well, and know bs when I see/hear it and I knew he wasn't feeding me a line of the crap.

My name is Jade

Is God For Rent

Is God for rent Sunday's and in time of need? Is He meant to be used when we are in need? Is He suppose to come to our aid after we have ignored Him in regards to the very thing that we are now trying to rent Him for? Did He not supply direction to this situation already? When He says that He will supply all your needs according to his riches, did He mean only when you are ready to rent Him? When He said that His rod and staff shall comfort you all the days of your life and that peace shall dwell with you, did He mean if you follow Him or is it ok to Rent that peace and comfort only as YOU need it? When he said forgive your trespassor and/or not to judge, did He mean sometimes it's ok to not do so? I could ask these questions for the rest of my days and the answers would remain the same. Instead I'll close with a question to myself; did He die for me to use Him as a rental?

Love is Kind

Love is Giving

GPS

Please enter the state in which you are headed. Please enter the city. Please enter the address of your destination. Please select if you'd like the shortest distance or faster arrival time. Please put your seat belt on.

Start out going west on Monday for the next 8 hours.
Turn Left on Tuesday for the next 8 hours.
Turn Right on Wednesday and take it for the next 8 hours.
When possible make a U-turn on Thursday and follow it for 8 hours.
Make the next right on Friday and you will arrive at your destination in 8 hours on the right.

How was the trip? Did you see anything worth while? That was a lot of time, what'd you gain? Are you going back the same way you came and are you gonna take the same way next week? If so, for how long?

Dear Mirror

You better watch your back and watch who you're talking too. I suggest you think about it before you get jacked up. You can go there if you want to but it may not be what's best. I done see what you got and I know who you wit and I can tell you that that ain't goin be enough. I'm just letting you know and you know i'm right!

Close Your Soul

Close your soul, as I see your inner makings. Brilliant measures that fill your makings have me twisted in whirlwinds of passions that cannot be contained through any form except presence. Alleviate my thoughts that rest upon this canvas of affection. Cleanse my secret self of those things of which I have seen but leave a scent of it's touch with me all the days of my life, so that I may encounter it's peace at moments notice. I've been exposed to the chemistry of you and I am forever drawn to it's assembly that's harmonious to my beat that sustains me. You have poured out like a rivers roar whose vibration is felt a great distance away. What is this thing that mine eyes have seen that has become so profound it inspires creation of poetic thoughts? No need to think about it, I'll tell you... It's the inner makings of you!

Experience

That of which you do not see coming will be the one that changes all. Will you reflect on the experience gained? Will you stay in those past moments? Or will you face them with understanding that nothing is by chance? We turn down roads we've yet to travel because our minds cusiousity eluminates the GPS inside us that shouts what the mind truly wants. If we hadn't taken the uncharted path of which is now a part of us, would we not have gained a different view or a new perspective of beauty that lies beneath? Dance in your experiences, they are yours. Refresh your soul in the flavor of your life.

I Don't Feel Like It

I don't feel like writing, but an expression comes in many forms. I don't feel like being here, but the present unwrapped cannot be enjoyed. I don't want to think about her, but my world is tilted and I'm losing trackion. I don't want another lesson, but knowledge grips me. I don't want something else, but I don't want something else! I don't want go there, but there my hope rest. I don't want another moment to pass without you knowing that I love you, but you already know that i do. I don't want to write anything today, but I have to expose my being, by being me. I'm stopping now because I don't feel like writing.