X-pression

Yeah she won’t see me standing in front of her because her vision is blocked. There is no more to be done and no words that need to be spoken any further. No matter the amount of substance that’s poured it will be mistaken for something else. The doubts or worries remain and pulls her away just as the taste of her stains my days. Expression is life and the ability to live through it defines me, but I’m stifled by slipping hands I once held and lips I’ve kissed freely. When I reach will your arms be there to comfort the lost thoughts that cripple my dreams or shall I remain on a collision course with vanished moments. She is so close and yet so far away that it is like looking through waters that run deep. When settled, all is calm and clear but that one pebble that breaks the tranquility unsettles so much that even I am lost in the waves it makes. The dilemma is that I’ve seen her views unblocked and it fed me for a lifetime but I’m in need of a quick quenching and I hope it comes soon. Words are my expression.

Back To Bed

Will you come back to bed baby? I want to lay here a while longer and enjoy the small moments that present themselves for the taking. Rest here and lay your head on my chest as I run my fingers through your hair. There’s time always remaining and is never past due when it comes to a you and I. Climb back underneath these covers and roll up next to me so that I can feel your skin breathing against mine. Settle my missing you passion with your presence. ‘Tap, tap’, yes, right here baby, place your making right here! Shh, rest your cares, concerns, thoughts and words under the silence of this calming space. You are my present this morning, so come here so that I can say good morning to you the proper way. Slip out of those clothes and remove those slippers…yeah that’s it, come here baby. We don’t need to be in a hurry today. Good morning baby!!!

Tunnel Vision

My mind is like a tunnel with the outer edges always changing. The center is always smooth and calm but the walls are difficult to read and understand but are filled with life and abundance. The center is paved with black shiny stone and is endless, while the walls are painted with brilliant colors that are ever changing in motion. Picking one particular thing to focus on is nearly impossible as the beauty of it is so marvelous that finding that one thing cannot be. The movement of it all is seamless and soft and beckons to be touched but its distance won’t allow for it. There are colors that have yet to be named dotted throughout. You might confuse its dance with confusion but it tells a story that calms even the deepest thoughts. My mind provides peace that even, even when I should be torn I am easy. I wish I could find a way to paint the dotted expressions that cover its canvas. What a joyous place that stays with me and is accessible at any given point. 

Sorry

All I know how to do is love. Sorry

What If

What if I’d never met you and I never asked for your hand to dance? What if I’d never invited you out to dinner? What if I never looked into those amazing eyes? What if my heart didn’t skip a beat whenever you are near me? What if I’d never kissed or made love to you? What if I hadn’t seen my future in your smile? What if opportunity never knocked or that the signs that said go, where changed to stop? What if you weren’t all the things I’ve prayed for and then some and some yet to be revealed? What if I hadn’t asked for your hand in marriage and promised you that every day for the rest my life I would love and cherish you? What if I didn’t get to dance with you as my bride? What if you never had our children? What if we didn’t get to take walks through the park or cuddle next to each other while watching a movie? What if kissing you never became my joy? What if our home never was? What if breakfast in bed was never prepared? What if I couldn’t express myself to you and you to me? What if you never read anything I wrote? What if I ignored your passions and never fed into them? What if after years together I missed your beauty? What if I never realized just how beautiful you are? What if time never allowed for investment in you? What if I never truly got to know you and missed out on the loves of my life? What if I didn’t realize you were worth the fight? What if I saw you as just another woman? What if I wasn’t thinking of how much I enjoy you and how much I want my future to be with you? What if you say yes?

For Me

If we never learn from our past then our past is certainly bound to repeat itself. Whether good or bad, the choices we make will define who we are. While everyone would love to have just the good, often times it is the bad that we try desperately to run from. We all carry “bad” in our lives and some are worse than others. We can choose the direction we will go in by making better choices and those choices can be found or started in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. Have you ever been around a group of negative people and listened to their conversation? What you’ll find is that somehow the positive things are always turned into a negative in some way. Take this one for example, “John just bought a nice new car. I don’t know what he gone do now when it comes to getting gas. Shoot he’ll probably end up losing it because he can’t afford the gas.” You may have picture someone you know when you read that. Hopefully they are not in your circle of “people food”. Everything we eat feeds our body in some way or another and the same can be said of the people who feed words into our lives. Look for the good and make it your routine and imprint your good unto the things that surround you. Choose the good and do not dwell in the bad. With this small change, today’s tomorrows will be filled with good presents.

A Dance

Will you slow dance with me? Will you slow dance with me just a little while longer? Will you slow dance with me and make it last an eternity? Will our moment stay? Will we be completed in the song of hope? Will you slow dance with me and rest your cares into my chest? Will tomorrow’s melody be silenced from interruption? Will you slow dance with me and look up into my eyes and find comfort? Will you slow dance with me under the matching heartbeats we share? Will you take my hand and lead me to the dance floor and say, “dance with me slowly”? Will you slow dance with me and never let it end……never let it end

Dear Writer

You are smart, kind, giving, loving, excepting, willing, able, wise, encouraged, patient and many other things. You will rest in everything you dream of and more. You are rare when it comes to giving, because you give through and with your heart. All the challenges and setbacks that you’ve faced will only elevate you into your hemisphere. You have many talents to offer too many people and things. You are a beauty that I think is rare, as you are able to find beauty in places, things and people that others may overlook. You amaze me at how you connect all things in the path of life and provide life and meaning to them. The way you open yourself up to love is an experience that few do and I hope you never lose that. Your song carries its own unique tune and its sound cannot ever be silenced once it has been heard. You have an uncanny ability to pick yourself up when you’ve been down, but the biggest difference in that is that you do it with a smile and very few regrets. You go for what you want and ignore the “no’s” until you’ve obtained your destiny. You write through love. Your gifts are worth so much and even though you may realize some of your worth, you may not know just how valuable you are. You are life, and the many abundances that it offers are all yours. I love you.

I Wonder

I wondered if she’d think of me. Would she think of me as minutes passed by. Would she wonder where I could be. Would she wonder what I am doing. Would she wish that she were here instead of there. Would I fade away from her thoughts or would an everlasting spec of me cause her heart to rest no more and find a need for me. I wonder if I’ve made an imprint unto her soul that’s so powerful that even while away it connects her to me and I to her. I wonder if the moments that have been captured are strong enough to turn away the hands of another. Would those delicate kisses still have feeling while I’m away. I wonder if she’s ever felt my heart race for her. I wondered what goes through her thoughts when she looked into my eyes, especially at the very second they were speaking a love language. I wonder if she’d think about her hands in mine and smile. I wonder if she knows that waking next to her is what they call morning delight. I wonder as she ponders her days, how much or how little I’m in the future of them. I wonder if she knows that I’d climb a mountain of “no’s” to get to her “yes”. I wonder at what moment she will take “this thing” we have and breathe it into her fabric. I wonder if it is the start of love that I see in her smile. I wonder when I am gone would she……….

Time

Ok, so this thing called time is forever a changing momentum in life. Most of the days you end up with little of it to do the things you'd like too, but sometimes a gift of time is given for the very thing (s) that the time was designed for. I believe everything is based on numbers and therefore everything is connected and divisable by another. At the perfect moment in space I've been gifted a present that only the movement of life would offer. Ironically the T that equals X is running out and the answer to times equation will be complete. Only the X factor will not necessarily complete the riddle, but in fact lead to another equation that opens to more time. So how do you calculate the block of time seemingly placed in the center of space that brought upon something new? Well,I think the answer to that is T squarred by E = X. The reason for the solution is that momentum swings in the way of the progression which leads to new starts. That my friends is the answer to the riddle that ponders many.

My Name is Jade

You’d be amazed at the things you may be over looking. Home purchase, car rental, haircuts and car purchases are or can be nothing more than a legitimizing face to something that is truly far different from what it looks like on the outside. I mean come on, we (black people) know that most (if not all) barber shops is the place you go to get a hook up on anything you want or need. You need music, you hit the shop. You need clothes, you hit the shop. You need movies, you hit the shop. You need purses, hair, jewelry, weed or whatever, you hit the shop. Sorry shop owners but yawl know and yawl also know that that is not a secret. I mean the shop is life line to what’s going on. You have to be able to walk in a shop and it feel like “cheers”, where everyone knows your face and not your “real” name lol. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some legit businesses out there but huh, well you know. Ok, so what’s my point to all this? Well my first big “break” came from the barber shop and from that break came others. Out of all the breaks I’ve come across, there was one that crossed boarders and it came in the form of a used car lot. Now we’ve all seen the buy here pay here spots with the luxury cars that will give you financing even with no proof of income. You bring cash, you ride! Man you gotta love America. I mean where else can you walk into a dealership with nothing but cash and drive out with a Benz, Jag or whatever else you’d like? Heck, in some cases you don’t even need a driver’s license; you just need a name and a “pass”. Now people please don’t walk into a dealership and say you gotta a pass and want a car, cause your feelings might get hurt. For those of you that know what I mean when I say a “pass”, you know what I mean, but for those that don’t, it is basically credit by name alone but that name is understood to be good for it. So there I was in need or more in want of something new to drive around in and found myself sitting in Mr. Mohammad’s office being given the choice of whatever I wanted. Mr. Mohammad was a very successful “dealer” (cars) with ties to “dealers” that could get pretty much anything he wanted. I remember him so well because he didn’t say much, he just nodded his head or gave a look and people knew what he meant. There wasn’t a sense of power or ownership, it was more an understanding. For some reason he took to me and embraced me and with that my name was truly born and even today it still is. My name is Jade……. While I obviously change the names of people and businesses I will give a little hint to today’s story…… This business shares the name of the greatest one of all time and I was next door to it today (5-25-11).

TDH

TDH I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day!


You've wondered what, why, who, how I could say that so freely so allow me to explain why it is offered so freely from me to you.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

All of these apply to you today and tomorrow but what sort of confirms it is that it's been really easy and fluent. Daily it's being preserved, and for these I am always grateful and will always express these things. I once thought that love would elude me always. What I know you can't see is that no longer do I live there. Today I now know that Corinthians love cannot be contained, and when it is set free and freely given, it returns onto you fully charged and in acceptance of all that comes along with it. Tiffany it has and continues to amaze me just how much your lil butt has enlightened me. While I've always been covered under grace, I failed to realize that a promise of love was spoken over me long before the creation of me. Being that life lives and will live regardless, it was through you that such a revelation was birthed. So yes, your name was used and no it shall not be deleted. Because of you, I now live again with expectation to expect all.

Thanks babes.....


This is me..this is who I am..I gotta pay attention to the whispers

Questions

Do you know my likes and dislikes, or are you so complacent that those things elude you? Did you hear what I said or were you listening to what you wanted to hear? Have I not revealed myself enough to you, that you may want to stand alongside me? Have you chosen to look upon this thing with blinders on and live through limitations? Does not the sound of my voice leaves an expectation of more to come? Have you seen delight in my eyes as I settle upon yours? Have you opened yourself with the knowing that connections are made this way? Have you rested on the possibility of possibilities? Do you know that I’ll cover you through anything? Do you know that all that is mine is proposed for you too? Have you heard life within me as I converse with you? Has your mind convicted you beyond doubt and arrested you the thought that my love is YOUR love? Has love surprised you in ways you hadn’t thought of previously? Do you know I’ll stand for you? Can you feel me? Do you understand me? Do you know I’d wait a lifetime for you? Do you know time that which is given is always a gift and this time has been nothing but a gifting event for me? Do you realize that something meant for darkness has brought such a powerful and beautiful light unto me? To answer that first question, it is you and the thought of ever losing that.

To The Point

Woman your skin calls to me and I sit anxiously awaiting its call. This will not be long, nor evasive, but it will be straight to the point. As I rest here and search into your eyes, I am connected to your making. It's quite amazing just how you've rested upon, inside and out of my thoughts. I'm missing you, even as you rest next to me now, but as the song says, sometimes you make me smile even though no words are spoken, but through subtle moments I am awaken in your beauty. As I said, this will not be long, nor evasive but straight to the point, so here it is...Woman, friend, confidant, lover and better half of me, I end with, I love you!

Bored

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack done gone and said some ish that got his azz kicked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, I just hope she’s on the pill.
Little boy Peep ended up being a freak.
Any, many, miny moe, tonight I’m trying to find the one that’ll be my H**.
Abra kadabra, all aka zam, don’t know why I’m thinking of lil BAM BAM.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock – man that lil mouse gone get shot!
Jack and the bean stalk – yeah…what was up with that anyway? Just saying!

She is something ELSE

Live a Little

Ok, so the world was supposed to end at 6pm today and it is now 7pm, so I guess it’s safe to say it ain’t happening. I couldn’t help but think should anything be changed prior to the end. Should I do anything different? I mean, I kind of like my life and the people in it. As with anything I know there are some changes that if made would benefit me and my love ones but overall, deep down what changes would be so drastic that it literally changes the makeup of me. Spend more time with love ones? Read more? Pray more? Travel more? Yeah, yeah stuff like that, but any abnormal change would not be genuine and therefore would not reflect the purity of me; correct? Yeah, I’m rambling on and on but hey these are my thoughts. I ponder life’s questions often and I believe that you must grab it by the horns and enjoy the ride. Live to live and live to discover the undiscovered. Wrap yourself up in the loves of your life and allow it to take you to new places; places you hadn’t even thought of. Its experience has been created just for you and you just for it. See it and lay against it.

Through the Dark

Through dark, woman I will feel my way through to you
Close your eyes and glide along with me
Let this breeze flow freely between the chemistry between us
Take me in slowly like a fine slow aged wine
Feel every representative of my soul as I touch the making of you
Woman your pleasure is my quest
So be the director to these hands and guide me along the right spot (s)

Whisper what you’ve never uttered prior
As I dance to the groove of your hip motion
place
Those chocolate legs around the waist that grinds upon you

Imma be here for a moment so rest your cares onto me as
These hands that brush along the smooth beauty of your face be
Allowed to take you further than any distance you’ve been measured

Deeper I will seek your burst all the while pulling, grabbing, touching and kissing
Along your canvas, I will become Picasso
This moment was danced along time prior to now


and oh so how I’ve waited for this
and so...
I can hardly contain the beat that hearts beat for you

You’ve breathed next to me, but
Tonight the race of your lungs catching up to the rhyme of
The sounds of making love
Shall be the delicacy that tongues desire
As I taste the pleasure of
All of you
From your making to every fiber of YOU and
Through darkness, I will paint your beauty, so that it stains my thoughts always

For Me

Life is short and you never know when your moment will come. Sounds blah blah blah but you truly never know when you are done. Today I’m tired. I’m tired of keeping things in, even though I don’t know how else to be. I’ve seen death come in many forms and at random times so you’d think this death wouldn’t be so difficult to swallow but it is. With tears forming in my eyes the feeling of alone settles up against me. The world lost a good person this week. I mean an overall good person. You know when someone is just good to be around? Someone who cared not for themselves first? Yeah, that kind of person was lost this week and I’m trying to deal with it bravely but all I want to do is lean on someone and shed a tear or two. This has been a reflection type of experience for me, as so often death does, and it has made me look differently upon many things. One of the things I look upon is the saying, give and it shall be given unto you, but tonight as I write this I question it. Another is knowing based off feeling and I think that maybe knowing is really not knowing anything at all (hard to explain). I’ve liked who I am because I consider myself to think of others first and would give my all to anyone in need or so I hope. I don’t put my worries or feelings out there much because I don’t trust that they will be protected, but sometimes I want to just rest with someone and transparently reveal myself. It is then that a release can take place. I trust in God and know that He is my comforter but I also believe in people that He places in my life and therefore look (sometimes) to them to just know. Can you not see that I am not myself or is it that you care not? No this is not to you, it is for me. I moved people out of my life and I believe that you must do this continually throughout life but sometimes it is not that a removal is needed but more a conversation that’s needed. Writing helps me in so many ways and I can feel the power of it moving as I express myself through words. Lord, I am broken in a couple different ways and I need your help to put me back together again. You know my heart and you know what I need, so I ask that you simply be who You are to me. I’m tired. I can’t carry these things much longer, so will you send me help and when you do, do not allow me to mess it up in any capacity. Well that’s all I got to say tonight.

Fiction vs. Non-Fiction