Not easy

Love is not easily obtained and sometimes it takes you coming out of yourself to
see it.

Mic

Music is my world. It uplifts me. It transforms me. It takes the world of my cares
away. It strengthens me. It brings a new me out. It heals me. It calms me. It
moves me (literally). It is needed in my life. It is my voice. It is me. All I
need is 1 mic!

Past Love

Her song is louder than a marching band. Her beauty reveals that there must be a
God. The thought of her causes stars to shine brighter. Her kiss is my dream.
Her eyes speak of love. The beat of her heart plays my jam. Her touch raises the
hair on my neck. Her embraces is what I need.

For Her

Its vibration creeps deep into the pores of your soul and forever changes you. The taste of it captures your thoughts and keeps you bound to its passion. The call of its scent whispers to your nose. Delight in its presence for it truly is a rare experience. The beat of its core can be heard in silence. Take your time and measure its beauty. Words can’t define it, nor can they describe it. It is elusive but obtainable when open to the gift it brings. “They write movies of this”. The sway of its essence causes unimaginable pleasure even from a distance. Its dance grabs your rhythm and changes your vibe. Can you feel it? Can you taste it? Can you touch it? Would you keep it if you could? Its distance brings worlds together. “No mountain to high. No river too wide” to keep it away from itself. It draws closer when mirrored unto itself. Nothing, I mean nothing can detour its arrival. Time stands still for it. Silence speaks to it and it speaks silent nothings to its beneficiary. It’s confident in its presence and stands the test of time. Can you feel it? Can you illustrate it now? I like to its everything, – LOVE. Rest in it.

Life's Book

life has its very unique book, filled with chapters of experiences; some good, some bad and some are just that - some. Be excited and moved by it all, for it defines the essence of who we become. When you read this book, understand that you need to slow down and inhale all of its pages and learn from them. Some you may want to turn back and read again but do not dwell there. Instead, turn the page in expectation of what is still yet to come. Be moved in your movement because this my friend is LIFE and it's filled with many great blessings. See how far your chapter takes you!

Have you seen her?

Have you seen her? Na, you couldn’t have seen her or you wouldn’t be the same. Your walk, talk and experience wouldn’t allow you to remain the same if you’ve witnessed her. Her beautifully brown painted skin would’ve left you craving more. Her wonderful full lips would’ve had you begging for more words. Her frame would’ve had you changing professions. Na, you didn’t see who I saw. Her intelligence would call you into reference. Her cares would’ve left you in delight. Her smile would’ve changed your vision. Heck if you talked to her you’re thoughts would be transformed. You sure you saw the same woman? If you did you’d know that God exists because only He could’ve created such exquisiteness. Her laugh would’ve had you looking for angels. Her saunter would have your world stopped. Ok, so did she touch you; because through her hug you’d be made whole? Her presence would’ve changed your perception. Her scent would’ve called for passion. Her eyes, hair, skin, lips, nose, teeth, hands, ears and the rest of her body would’ve had you thinking artistically. Yeah, naaaa you couldn’t have seen the woman I saw… cause that sweet black woman got me all shook up.

Mama didn't hold me long enough

Mama didn’t hold me long enough. Mama didn’t hold me like an angels star. Let loose to the wind I was blown from this to that. Often landing in places that sucked the fruit from my nectar. Forever drifting in this sea of the world that is filled with pain, dirt, hurt, sex, lies and broken promises. There I would find myself lying in the cracks of life: desperate. There I was hiding, tucked away in the corner trying not to be noticed. Trying not to be stepped on and crushed. So I developed an outer shell; one that would protect me from breaking. Only, my shell would become heartless, careless and destructive to any that came across it. Sad to say but I didn’t even know my shell of protectiveness was not only harming others but it was destroying me internally. You see mama didn’t hold me long enough to teach me the protections I’d need to defend myself. Defend myself from the destructive nature of me. You see all my joy, happiness, pleasure, peace and love were all gifts giving to me from my Father, but the natural would seek to claim all that is good and have it return void onto me. So now, this…this shell of mine that I can no longer see through and recognize the reflection of myself has changed me. Erased are the joys of my past. They lay tucked away in corners of my resting places. No mama didn’t hold me long enough, but mama held me long enough that I may break this shell to reclaim that which was lost, so that now I may see. Return to those dark corners and collect what is mine and my Fathers’. Loose the chains of my mind to reclaim my angels star. Mama didn’t hold me long enough, but my Father did and He has come with me to recover all that was taken!

My name is Jade

You ever get the worst news giving to you through a text message? An era has ended that once captured the imagination of so many. It was seemingly a pure and innocent time in my past that allowed for moments of bliss and joy. Though life would get in the way of promise, and provided circumstance would lead to the inevitable collapse of what once was promised between two individuals, no one would have expected it to come to a conclusion in the form that it did. While I was by no means owed anything by anyone, I still failed to realize that I could be ripped apart by the exclusion of the knowledge that a bomb was soon to go off, right in the center of my ground zero; my heart. There are many famous quotes from many famous people and many great movies…”We hold these truths to be evident that all men are created equal”…”One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”…”Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”…”Truth, you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth”. All of which will live forever in people’s memory that know them and now I too shall have words that will forever live with me. “Jade, I got married to Cory this weekend.” And that was the start of my new life. My name is Jade!

Sarah

Sarah, if there is one thing that I am certain of, it is that your mother loved you from the moment you were created. I can feel, see and hear her in everything you do. I cannot explain it Sarah, it’s something that only angels process; you and mommy are the only people I have ever met that can change any circumstance no matter the task, difficulty, involvement, pressure or need. So baby girl I know there is nothing that is beyond your scoop. You have taught me to believe in and through things like nothing I have ever witnessed. (From dad)
With that I took to the sidelines determined to see things through the eyes of certainty.

I believe that we are all gifted in some form or another and many of us need a little push to pull out that gift, but when it is realized there is nothing that neither can nor will hold us back. My high school teachers you probably laugh to hear me say that…
Sarah, Sarah… Wake up young lady (teacher).
Ah, my freshmen year of high school. Just like many of the other insecure kids that attended our school I was sort of an outcast. I guess you could say that I was missing something I never had but had all the while. Yeah I know it doesn’t make much sense, but in time it will. Jason, Gabby and Mike were my best friends. We’d known each other sense we were toddlers. After my mom died people never wanted to leave my dad alone with me (for whatever reason), so the neighbors would make it a point to stop by for dinners, check-ups and random visits and they would bring their children along as well; which is how I met Jason, Gabby and Mike.
Mike’s father died when Mike was 7 so he sort of became the “pack leader” at his home. Like me he had no siblings. It was just he and his mom. So when his dad passed, he sort of started taking care of his mom which made him into the young responsible, protector teenage man that he is today. He has always looked out for me as well; never letting anyone or anything harm me.
Gabby and Jason are brother and sister. They live across the street from, in a loving home with both parents. I always liked it when their family would come over to visit because seeing them made see something normal.
Well that’s the “gang”. Me, Mike, Jason and Gabby.

My name is Sarah

My name is Sarah and I haven’t been born yet, but I am destined for greatness. I will be born on Feb. 3rd at 3:34am. My dads name is John and he loves to play the guitar and sing to me. I haven’t figured out how he does it, but his songs match’s my mother’s heart rhythms. My mother…. Ah how tender, patient, caring and loving she is. I listen as she talks to my dad and other family members, but when it’s just her and I, she’s different… She likes to sit under the stars and talk to me while rubbing her tummy. (Giggle) I like when she does that, it’s the only time I stick my feet out (giggle). My mom and dad always tell me that I am special and that I will be a gift to the world. I’m not sure what they mean by that, but I love to listen as they tell me their dreams of me.
My father is a high school football coach and my mom is nurse. What a pair they make. They say they are saving lives through mentorship and medicine.
I am not sure how to start the next part of this story, because it is about the beginning and the end of something near and dear to me. I guess I will start with the day my mother came home from work (Feb. 2nd). I remember her crying alone on the porch about something that happened at work. I could hear the tears falling as they left her chin. I’d never heard mom cry before but I knew I did not like it. Daddy, daddy, help, mommies crying, I shouted over and over again. Suddenly my mother screamed for”John”! Right then I knew something was wrong. Dad came running to the door, “What’s wrong” he asked. “I think I am going into labor, my water just burst” mom replied. In a flash bright lights surrounded me and my world was changed forever. I did not know what was going on and it was quite a harrowing experience. Then a soft familiar voice crept through all the other sounds. It was my dad whispering to my mom. He said, “Sarah, you are my rock and I have loved you from the moment you laughed at that silly first joke I told you. You are so beautiful”….”As are you, and you have always been my dream..I love” …….those was the last words my father and I would ever hear from my mother.

Jade

And still I wonder. And still I think. And still I know. And still I am. I am that young teen, young adult who’s mind and dreams of visions take president over some realities. And so I wonder what spark may be lit to bring chaos into my circle. Alone I stand with many whose heart beats that of a lion. Silently I’m thinking king of the mother fucking world and I wish a Negro would, but all the while knowing that this mentality is that of a caged man’s world. Ambiguous defines my thoughts, desires, passions and lively aspirations, but in this place it must lie dormant for fear of its dominance of others. Is this confident? Is this egotistical? Is this cocky? Is this real or fake? If I said past is my present, would you know what I mean? Fear may grip you if you heard my stories, but harmless has a puppy I am – there still rest and awaits the bite of sweet nectar whose taste stays a lifetime. Probably trying to figure out what the hell is being spoken right now; that is unless you are blowed out of your mind, which if that is the case these words are probably doing a rain dance on your brain. So you ask the question, who am I. I am Jade!

Fair

What is fair? What is acceptance? I ponder these things tonight as I sit in this room alone. I have often needed or felt the need to be accepted, even though I’ve never been any but accepted. This thirst for fairness can affect every aspect of a person’s life and the very actions he or she may take in this walk of life. Make no mistake that the soil from which we arrive and grow in will play a major role in all orders of our lives. We must have fertile ground if we are to grow. This applies even if our start began in soiled land. It is fair that we look back on past events that laid the foundation to our make-up, but we must accept what we see in doing so, and look forward to fresh starts. It is ok and fair to want and need acceptance of fresh things. Seek these things as you walk, and perhaps more important, share all the knowledge that you gain from this walk of acceptance. Neither we, nor I can change past dealings, and we are to be careful not to remain there with them. It is fair that we accept those things and move forward to better ideals and all that’s promised to us all.

Prince

I close my day out and lay down to rest and watch t.v. Only I’m compelled by what surrounds me. I rest under fabrics fit for a prince, with Egyptian rare shades at the windows. A table at my feet, with a bronze lamp of a man holding an umbrella. White lilies drape over the edges of the table. At my head rest another lamp of a warrior in battle. Starring down at me rests a white tiger on the wall. At this moment I realize all that has been given to me and the need to acknowledge that screamed at me to write this. I often start writing and don’t know where it will end up, but I know these words serve some purpose in some way or another. What I hear is that God telling me that He needs to find another way to get my attention. I hear that I am valuable and that the knowledge that I possess is great and needed. The white tiger that stares at me, says I am with you always. I am your protector. The man with the umbrella seems to be saying, I will cover you. The warrior represents the conflict inside my head and soul. With all that surrounds me, I am not deserving of it. Yet here I am; resting in things fit for a prince.

JOY

Sometimes you can spend a lifetime running in darkness. You can lose your way and not know it. Seemingly you can be out of place, even as you are IN PLACE. Sometimes you can drift with the endless counting of watching the blades of a ceiling fan go round and round. A brief memory of things once enjoyed may creep in a time or two, but it doesn't sustain you. This can transform you ways that are unrecoverable if not careful. With each day that passes, stop and remember the good of the day. Bring light into your eyes every chance you get. Hold fast to all good things and find love in them. Delight in the good, for it saves many things. Trust in what you know to be real, and not what others try to make real. LIVE LIFE JOYFULLY!

No Posts

I use to have more time to post because most of it was done at work but they've blocked this site at work plus I have class so i'm limited on time. Not to mention that I can't copy and paste anymore...wth happened.

well hope all is well to all

Best of It

The greatest of these things are love
Through which all is possible
Even when it seems impossible
There it shall prove to win out over all things
Discover it in places rarely expected
Or sought
Place it where it protected yet shared
This gift cannot be denied
It changes even the unchangeable
united it brings joy, and peace beyond imagination
Simplest of things
Yet most don't experience the core of it
Kind in it's natural way, it pours out, endlessly
Often in the face of many, it is sometimes taken for granted
Even so; it endures
So happy to share this greatest gift
With YOU
I love you

Retired

A killed spirit which quickened the bones of his desires
There he sat stalemate
Detoured from his vision of life
Left dormant, his dreams resided in a frozen state
Unaware of the darkness to which he’d paid so much too
His dreams could no longer find dreams to dream
This continuing cycle kept him in place
Every now and then rewarded for his post
He’d treat himself
Yet back to lost
To play his part, he’d find himself
Deflated,
He’d still roll on
Unaware of the state he was in
As he celebrated his retirement
And blow out the candles to a job well done
His presence faded with the smoke blown from the candles
A box of bones he carried away
Reflections of time gone by
Filled with loneliness and out of place
He found that he could not carry on
He rested his eyes for the last time
And just like that
He was lost
Along side his
Desires

Cant Post

Sorry for the not so often post. I used to do these while at work and for some reason they've chosen to block this site. So now I don't have access to post :(

Love To Hate

I hate the way you tell me to do stuff
I love you for the way you talk to me
I hate it when you don’t answer the phone
I love calling your voice mail to hear your voice
I hate it when you get mad at me for not letting the toilet seat down
I love how you keep the house clean
I hate that you yell at me when arguing
I love the different ways you express yourself
I hate it when other people flirt with you
I love the fact that you’re with me
I hate it that you make so much noise in the morning
I love waking up to you
I hate it that you are sometimes short tempered with me
I love the fact that you’re passionate
I hate that you always have to buy new shoes
I love those red pumps on you…..o boy!
I hate that you won’t stop talking and let me rest
I love to hear your voice as I fall to sleep
I hate that I’m having a problem making this list
I love the fact that I have more love than hate for you

LIFE

Life’s passion can sometimes be obscured by the very thing it starts with; LIFE. I’ve pondered this all week. I’ve asked myself this question over and over. If I could do anything in the world what would it be? What would give me that passion for life? What is that one thing? While thinking of the answer I thought about other people. I thought how even as adults we are still children attending school. I mean, we wake up to an alarm clock that we keep hitting the snooze button, just as we did when our parents called for us to get up numerous times. Or even the way we take lunch at work. Just take a second and look when you go to lunch. It’s as if the school bell has rung. All of a sudden there’s traffic, stores are crowded and people are rushing to get in out so that they’re not late returning to work. Heck we even watch the clock for the end of the day bell so that we can head home to do nothing but lodge around. Think about it for a second, this has been the norm for most of our lives. So discovering that passion that breaks those cycles and gives people a zest for life would be so fulfilling to many of us. So in thinking on this for a while I’ve come up with my passion. I’m sure as with most people I’ve always known what my passion is. Do you? If not shouldn’t you try to find it? After all, it’s LIFE!