Retired

A killed spirit which quickened the bones of his desires
There he sat stalemate
Detoured from his vision of life
Left dormant, his dreams resided in a frozen state
Unaware of the darkness to which he’d paid so much too
His dreams could no longer find dreams to dream
This continuing cycle kept him in place
Every now and then rewarded for his post
He’d treat himself
Yet back to lost
To play his part, he’d find himself
Deflated,
He’d still roll on
Unaware of the state he was in
As he celebrated his retirement
And blow out the candles to a job well done
His presence faded with the smoke blown from the candles
A box of bones he carried away
Reflections of time gone by
Filled with loneliness and out of place
He found that he could not carry on
He rested his eyes for the last time
And just like that
He was lost
Along side his
Desires

Cant Post

Sorry for the not so often post. I used to do these while at work and for some reason they've chosen to block this site. So now I don't have access to post :(

Love To Hate

I hate the way you tell me to do stuff
I love you for the way you talk to me
I hate it when you don’t answer the phone
I love calling your voice mail to hear your voice
I hate it when you get mad at me for not letting the toilet seat down
I love how you keep the house clean
I hate that you yell at me when arguing
I love the different ways you express yourself
I hate it when other people flirt with you
I love the fact that you’re with me
I hate it that you make so much noise in the morning
I love waking up to you
I hate it that you are sometimes short tempered with me
I love the fact that you’re passionate
I hate that you always have to buy new shoes
I love those red pumps on you…..o boy!
I hate that you won’t stop talking and let me rest
I love to hear your voice as I fall to sleep
I hate that I’m having a problem making this list
I love the fact that I have more love than hate for you

LIFE

Life’s passion can sometimes be obscured by the very thing it starts with; LIFE. I’ve pondered this all week. I’ve asked myself this question over and over. If I could do anything in the world what would it be? What would give me that passion for life? What is that one thing? While thinking of the answer I thought about other people. I thought how even as adults we are still children attending school. I mean, we wake up to an alarm clock that we keep hitting the snooze button, just as we did when our parents called for us to get up numerous times. Or even the way we take lunch at work. Just take a second and look when you go to lunch. It’s as if the school bell has rung. All of a sudden there’s traffic, stores are crowded and people are rushing to get in out so that they’re not late returning to work. Heck we even watch the clock for the end of the day bell so that we can head home to do nothing but lodge around. Think about it for a second, this has been the norm for most of our lives. So discovering that passion that breaks those cycles and gives people a zest for life would be so fulfilling to many of us. So in thinking on this for a while I’ve come up with my passion. I’m sure as with most people I’ve always known what my passion is. Do you? If not shouldn’t you try to find it? After all, it’s LIFE!

My Name Is Jade

My brothers and I were sitting in the back seat of my father’s car. My father was driving around looking for something. We didn’t know what it was he was looking for and we didn’t ask. It was raining that night. I remember turning the corner and seeing my father’s eyes light up while looking at them through the rear view mirror. It appeared he’d found what he was looking for. A pay phone (or so we thought)! He stopped the car in front of the phone-booth and jumped out into the rain. My brothers and I sat in the car waiting for him to return. Boom! Suddenly a man was thrown onto the hood of the car. My father appeared too. Next thing I knew my father began beating the man to a pulp. Even as the man was on the ground, my father kicked him. We watched as he picked the man up and threw him into the phone-booth. I remember my father bending down pointing at the man saying something but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Without either of us saying anything, my father jumped back into the car and drove off. We never mentioned what happened to anyone. Not even to one another. Twenty something years would pass before we’d speak about what we saw that night. I asked one of my brothers if he remembered that night. He said and I quote, “Hell yeah I remember! That was some crazy sh*t!” We’d have plenty of stories like that to share between us. It’s truly amazing some of the things we saw and never spoke of them while growing up. Hey, that’s my history and my name is Jade!

Pick Up Lines

Excuse me!

Pssssp, hey how you doing? I was just wondering……..since I’m lost, would you mind if I go home with you?
Pssssp, excuse me but I was wondering if you’d be interested in a free ride to my place?

Pssssp, I’m sorry to pssssp at you, but I was wondering if you’re the blind date I’ve been waiting for?

Hello, sorry to bother you but I’d be pissed at myself later if I didn’t at least try to ask you out.

Oh my goodness! You are breath taking……you better get ready to catch me before I faint from lack of air.

O.K, O.K. where is Jesus? He has to be around here somewhere! If he’s letting Angels walk around here, he has to be here somewhere!

Hi! Have you ever laid down on a sleep number bed? Well here’s your chance! My place at 9!

I’ve been trying to come up with something perfect to say to get your attention, but all I could come up with is, you are beautiful.

So where are WE going tonight?

I love you!

Excuse me! Did you just drop something? Here you go; it was just my business card.

Stop, Stop, Stop! I just want to give it up to your parents! They’ve made a remarkable work of art by making you.

I knew there was gold at the end of the rainbow!

DAMNNNN!!!!

My minds telling noooo, but my body, my body’s telling me to do anything I can to get your attention.

Would you mind if we shared this taxi and the rest of our lives together?
Now I know you’ve heard some of those lines before so I’m not going to use them. All I’m going to say is would you do me the pleasure of having dinner with me?

Epiphany

Dark and with certainty, I rebirth myself in hopes of finally cutting the cord of harmfulness. These labor pains are meant to serve as a reminder to never look back into this pit. Scratching, ripping and tearing has to take place in order for cleansing and purification to renew what is covered in darkness. Caring hands awaiting to pull, support and catch me should I get caught up or stumble. Naturally I’ll have to do my part and allow what feels right to be right. Closed eyes throughout the process, operating without a clue to what surrounds me. Then suddenly an epiphany touches the very fiber of my being and just like that I am born. Needing to learn all, I trust in those that surround me. I’ll lean to them for many things, and someday I hope to have them lean on me. No more tears. No more pain. No more harm. I love you guys, though I haven’t shown it lately. Processing the process.

MJ

Go and hug your "Michael" by Maya Angelou...Yesterday I cried watching the Michael Jackson memorial. I cried for a little black boy who felt the world didn't understand him. I cried for a littleblack boy who spent his adulthood chasing his childhood. And I thoughtabout all the young black boys out there who may too feel that the worlddoesn't understand them. The ones who feel that the world does not understandtheir baggy jeans, their swagger, their music, their anger, their struggles,their fears or the chip on their shoulder. I worry that my son, may too,one day will feel lonely in a wide, wide world.I cried for the young children of all colors who may live their life feeling like a misfit, feeling like no one understands their perspective, or their soul. What a burden to carry.As a mother, I cried for Katherine Jackson because no mother should ever bury a child. Period. And I think about all the pain, tears and sleeplessnights that she must have endured seeing her baby boy in inner pain, seeinghim struggle with his self-esteem, and his insecurities and to know he oftenfelt unloved even while the world loved him deeply. How does it feel tothink that the unconditional love we give as mothers just isn't enough to makeour children feel whole? I wonder if she still suffers thinking, "whatmore could I have done?" Even moms of music legends aren't immune to mommyguilt, I suppose.When Rev. Al Sharpton ("who always delivers one" awesome "funeralspeech") said to Michael's children, "Your daddy was not strange...It was strange what your Daddy had to deal with," I thought of all the "strange" things of theworld that my children will have to deal with. Better yet, the things I hopethey won't ever have to deal with anymore.And as a mother raising a young black boy, I feel recommitted and yet a little confused as to how to make sure my son is sure enough within himself totake on the world. Especially a "strange" one. To love himself enough toknow that even when the world doesn't understand you, tries to force youinto its mold or treats you unkindly, you are still beautiful, strong andBlack. How do I do that?Today, I am taking back "childhood" as an inalienable right for every brownlittle one. In a world, that makes children into booty-shaking,mini-adults long before their time, I'm reclaiming the playful, innocent,run-around-outside, childhood as the key ingredient in raising confident adults.Second, I will not rest until my little black boy, MY Michael, knows that hisbroad nose is beautiful, his chocolately brown skin is beautiful, and histhick hair is beautiful.And nothing or no one can ever take that away from him."Now aint we bad? And ain't we black? And ain't we fine? ---Maya Angelou


I thought of my lil MJ; Elijah

Wife

Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
Or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

10 Things To Know

Here’s the latest useless information that you know you need. Lol! I’m already lol at those of you that will try number 8 and 9.

1.) The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

2.) In Utah, a husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence. WTF

3.) In Wisconsin it is illegal to kiss on a train and sleep on a train. Now you can have all the sex on a train you’d like but make sure you don’t fall asleep afterward.

4.) The Statue of Liberty is actually a statue of two different people. The face was that of Charlotte Bartholdi, the mother of the designer Frederic Auguste Bartholdi. The sculptor's girlfriend, Jeanne-Emilie, was the model for the statue's arms and body.

5.) Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots. Ain’t that some sh**!

6.) The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. Even at your desk lol!

7.) The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910 and the youngest pope was 11 years old.

8.) If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

9.) Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

10.) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma. Um can someone please inform Red Cross!

May I Have This Dance

If I could I’d dance a life with you
We’d share our floor with a love
Beyond stars
Touch a kiss between the two
Never to end our days would last
With this gift I give you my joy
Yours to have
Mine to pleasure
Place with me to protect
Dreams
Hopes
Plans
Needs that I’ll labor to achieve
Give me this moment
I’ll stand a lifetime
My God
He must have sent you Himself
A loss for Him to lose an Angel
Gain for me to grace this gift
So my sweet
As we dance this dance
Know that I will never stop
Growing deeper into you

Michael Jackson

Today a grace of God breezed through the airways of our lives. Michael Jackson died on June 25th, 2009. Today he was honored for his works. Usher sang one of his many number hits, “Gone Too Soon”. A certain sense of mortality seemed to come through. This was a man, a human, a living person with a life of his own. He left behind many memories and many things. We were truly blessed I believe in living in these moments to have witnessed some of his works. I believe he managed to achieve things that were meant for him and him only. His daughter put it best. She said, “Ever since I can remember he was the best dad”. These words are for me. God always has a way of reminding me of His grace. Today it came through today’s tribute to Michael Jackson. May he rest in peace!

Heaven

Close your eyes and visualize the most fantastically beautiful place your heart could ever desire. Pure delight and peace. Your every need is met with just a thought. A utopia of bliss that cannot be contained. I mean just a pure joy! This is Heaven!

Remember When?

Remember when all the kool aid was gone or close to be gone you’d see all that sugar at the bottom?
Remember the penny candy lady in the neighborhood?
Remember we’d call “bingo” when we saw a car we wanted to have when we grew up?
Remember when you could only ride your bike on your side of the sidewalk and only for half a block?
Remember that mean man/lady on block that was mean for no reason?
Remember that dog that would always get loose and chase you?
Remember the name of that dog; always something like, “Red”, “Pepper”, or “Spike”.
Why was it always a black dog?
Remember when the street lights came on, some of us took off running home, cause we’d better be either on the porch or in the house when they came on?
Remember that barber that used to knick the hell out of you and would say stay still?
Remember that fine teacher you liked?
Remember thinking she liked you too?
Remember when Michael Jackson did the moonwalk on Motown 25?
Remember when New Edition split to become BBD?
Remember Toni, Tony, Tone
Remember Toni Braxton walking across the stage in that dress?
Remember having supersonic hearing when it came to the ice cream truck?
Remember your parents saying stupid stuff like, “you better be quiet before I give you something to really cry about”?
Remember the corner store?
Remember Thanksgiving meals at Grandma’s?
Remember Now & Laters, Lemon Heads, Boston Bake Beans, Redhots, and Big Pal gum?
Remember Birthday “Licks”?
Remember sneaking out the house before mom got home?
Remember that open fire hydrant, somehow it turned into a block party?
Remember car alarms that required a key to activate and disarm?
Remember that girl/boy you liked?
If you’ve seen them recently you questioned why you liked them?
Remember all those kids you grew up?
Where’d they come from?
How many fathers do you remember in the neighborhood?
Remember the boy “Black”?
Remember hurting yourself to the “white meat”
What do you remember??????????????

Everything

Everything from the smell of her hair to color of nails
Everything from the length of legs to the small of her back
Everything from her touch to her kiss
Everything from the sound of her voice to the joy of her laughter
Everything from the deepness of her eyes to the calm of her skin
Everything from the curve of her hips to the sway of her stride
Everything from her passions to her dreams
Everything from her love to her family
Everything from the moment I met her
Made me all the better

The 5 Things You Need To Know Today (To catch and possibly keep a man)

1.) If you’re interested in a man don’t look away when he looks at you. (I’m not saying you have to stare at one another but give him that invitation with your eyes.)

2.) Don’t talk too much when you first meet. Settle down a bit….lol

3.) Listen to him. Chances are everything you’ll need to know will be disclosed to you with the first few minutes. You have to just listen. (any questions let me know)

4.) It’s ok to compliment him. (nice shirt, nice smile, etc.)

5.) Remember a man loves a chase. Don’t be anxious to give him all of you, even though you’re so ready too. Be the onion and allow him to peal back the layers. You’ll both have fun doing this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIJAH

Today is my son’s birthday! He turned 5 today! I just spoke to him. He has a way of feeling my heart with just pure joy. His angelic voice could bring a smile to anyone’s face. Sometimes he makes life that much easier! Happy Birthday Elijah! Daddy loves you and I’ll see you later today!

So You Wanna Leave

(HIM)
So you wanna leave me…..well go ahead and pack yo shit!
So you wanna leave me…..well stop talking and leave
So you wanna leave me…..well leave the keys to the crip and the whip
So you wanna leave me…..well take that hair out yo head that I paid for
So you wanna leave me….well take those damn nail tips off that I paid for
So you wanna leave me….well leave that Gucci bag that I paid for
So you wanna leave me….well imma need that black card back
So you wanna leave me....well just get ta steppin

(HER)
So you wanna talk shit…..well here take these keys
So you wanna talk shit…..well here, you can have this hair back
So you wanna talk shit….well here, take these nails back (I can’t get this one off but here)
So you wanna talk shit….well here, take this bag too
So you wanna talk shit….well here, take this over the balance card back
So you wanna talk shit…..well that should be all since I already gave you that STD…we should be even!

Truth Be Told

Truth be told I miss you
Truth be told you could never be replaced
Truth be told my heart will always belong to you
Truth be told by true happiness rest in you
Truth be told I was blessed to know you
Truth be told your laughter is missed
Truth be told I still feel your presence
Truth be told we were suppose to grow old together
Truth be told I’d rather have you here for just another moment
Truth be told I didn’t express these things to you
Truth be told no one knows me like you
Truth be told I’ll always truly be yours
Truth be told this is to you
Truth be told things we lost pale in comparison to not having you
Truth be told you was what I needed
Truth be told I lost my love
Truth be told I lost my life
Truth be told I lost you
Truth be told I………………………

My Name Is Jade

So I arrive in the beautiful city of Miami seemingly straight out of a scene from Scarface. In the trunk of the rented Chevy Cobalt lies a briefcase full of cash. Carefully placed Ben Franklins on top. 3 deep, 12 rows. Singles 4 down and straight across. This will be used as show money. This will allow me access to a supply that would eventually move me into a “player” status. Sort of a buy in process. Without skipping a beat I manage to impress the one person I needed too. I’ll always remember his first words to me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more unsuspectful person come to me like you!” Just like that I was “blessed” in. Without truly knowing I’d found myself with a network that stretched from the east coast to the west coast. You know how the movies portray scenes of naked girls braking down keys of cocaine and dudes are sitting there in the room with AK47’s? Well let me tell you first hand. That’s pretty much how it’s done. Can you imagine walking into something like that? Remember you have to remain cool and calm like this is the norm. It’s a funny business at that level. You learn quickly who’s on what level. You learn who touches the product, who supplies the need, who fronts what’s needed, who does the dirty business (you really don’t want to know them; at least not like that), and who manages things. By the way managers never touch anything. However they’re always in complete control of every aspect of the business. You’d be surprised to know just who some of the managers are. In this business you learn fast that nothing is a surprise. This is my story. My name is Jade!